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I've never heard of anyone having to fork out 20% of their income to college costs, but perhaps I run with the wrong, much poorer crowd. Especially with the way jobs can change, etc. I thought also you were disabled as is he? Child support usually ends when a kid is 18 unless they come from a wealthier family. Even if making in the $60K range that is taking $12K if it is deductible at all. If you are making $60K, taxes may run in the 20% range, so that is $12K which puts you at $48000. Then you take 20% of that and it is $9600, which leaves you around $38,400 to live on. If you have to pay before taxes, you are looking at $12K for college, another $12K for taxes leaving you at around $36000 to live on. Maybe is you have over $100K to live on, that might work out, but those with smaller wages, it doesn't sound like something doable. Actual numbers like $5K per year per kid is one thing and depending on your income, it still seems a lot. As you read about all the families on this forum struggling to pay for college on much bigger salaries, I don't know how you ended up paying, or at least needing to, paying the full half freight for an in state college.
And on top of that having to pay off the bozo by selling a house that you own to hand over a big chunk of change to him. But that is neither here nor there. Those are decisions that you came to and I am very glad that I didn't have to deal with that with my sons. I would continue to be saving, if you can, and keep that money hidden from him and your kids as you never know what they might say to their father in all innocence. It would be nice if you could find a way to hide it where it would be making some interest, but you can wait for that until the kids are done with college and then he is done screwing around with your life and your finances aren't any of his business, not that they really are now.
And on top of that having to pay off the bozo by selling a house that you own to hand over a big chunk of change to him. But that is neither here nor there. Those are decisions that you came to and I am very glad that I didn't have to deal with that with my sons. I would continue to be saving, if you can, and keep that money hidden from him and your kids as you never know what they might say to their father in all innocence. It would be nice if you could find a way to hide it where it would be making some interest, but you can wait for that until the kids are done with college and then he is done screwing around with your life and your finances aren't any of his business, not that they really are now.
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