What should I do with $14k?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'd put $5500 into 2016 Roth IRA and 2017 Roth IRA if you qualify. Then I'd take the $3k and use it to retain a good divorce lawyer.

[tripods68]

Just to chime, people don't need to comment on other people problem when you don't have nothing else better to say, other than to call people questions DuMB. Really!

I'm with other, set aside money for a very good divorce lawyer. I wouldn't wait, just find one today. There is nothing to reconcile here imo, especially with no kids involved. Hope to start 2017 cleanslate and move on with your life.

[cypher1]

I would hope for an amicable divorce -- she wouldn't go after my 403b; I wouldn't go after her 401k. She'd let me keep the property valuation in the house because I'm the one that bought the house and paid for the renovations.

But, not gonna hold my breath. I know this stuff can get pretty messy.

I've never been married, but in the last 18 months I witnessed my best friend's divorce experience being a nightmare (although he got off easy since he didnt have kids, and wasn't the main income). As well as 3 other co-workers going through their divorces. All 4 pretty much said the same as you in the beginning, thinking their SOs would be fair. When it came to assets their exes went after everything, kept drawing the divorce out, and bled them dry.

Say what you will, but everyone has told me: Lawyer up, protect your assets, get everything in writing, never assume your SO will play fair, and hit the gym. Good luck!

[disneysteve]

Say what you will, but everyone has told me: Lawyer up, protect your assets, get everything in writing, never assume your SO will play fair

Sad but true. Whatever you think will happen in a divorce - forget it. If she gets herself a cutthroat lawyer, they will go after every last penny they can get. And the courts frequently side with the woman. It is absolutely not an fair or equitable system.

[james.hendrickson]

To pipe up on this. My father ran a part of the State of Oregon's senior and disabled services back in the 1990s. He had a job applicant that had a Felony conviction, but had the skills my dad needed, so he interviewed the candidate.

It turned out that the guy had a single felony - no prior criminal history - and none since the conviction.

What happened was the guy was getting a divorce. Due to the stress of the process the guy lost it and decided to burn down his marital home. There was nobody in it at the time when the property was burned. He assumed it would be cool because it was his house and therefore his property do with as he pleased.

The county prosecutor didn't see it that way, so the guy got convicted for arson.

The bottom line is that divorce isn't a rational process.

Since there are a lot of lurkers here, let me just say this.

Its far, far cheaper and easier to invest in marital counseling than in a divorce lawyer. A divorce costs easily $5,000 and can take up to 18 months to resolve. Instead, five thousand will also buy you 6 months of marital counseling. The statistics on marriage are clear, people who stay married are happier and richer than divorced people. Divorce also isn't a guarantee of happiness - if you hate your spouse or dislike that person, you'll probably still dislike them after you divorce them.

[disneysteve]

the guy lost it and decided to burn down his marital home. There was nobody in it at the time when the property was burned. He assumed it would be cool because it was his house and therefore his property do with as he pleased.

Did he really think there would be no punishment for setting a house on fire? That was pretty delusional of him.

[james.hendrickson]

Did he really think there would be no punishment for setting a house on fire? That was pretty delusional of him.

Yes, totally delusional.

Divorce isn't a rational process. People do crazy stuff and engage in all sorts of thinking errors.

For what its worth, if you own a house free and clear, no mortgage, and there is no risk to property or person of others, you should be able to torch your own house.

[disneysteve]

For what its worth, if you own a house free and clear, no mortgage, and there is no risk to property or person of others, you should be able to torch your own house.

As long as you don't expect the fire department to respond and put out the fire. Still, you could probably be charged with "risking a catastrophe" or something like that. Plus, you'd be causing all kinds of toxic materials to be released into the environment. I don't think you have the right to do that even if it's only your own property you are burning.

[henry450]

To be honest, this discussion was never intended to be about my relationship. It was about money. For all I know we won’t get a divorce!! No point in getting a divorce lawyer when you’re living in the same house together. And since I’m new to the forum but have already been called “dumb,” I’ll think twice before posting again in the future.

And furthermore, unless you know all the details of my personal life, I’d refrain from recommending marital counseling over a divorce lawyer. How do you know what’s best for me? *smh*

[Outdoorsygal]

Yes they should have told you both you need to get saved Just kidding.

Another option for the 14K is using it as a down payment for a home. If you've lived in your home over 1 year, then you can sell it tax free and pocket any profit from the house sale avoiding capitol gains taxes. You may need to share the $$ but if it is substantial maybe that will help. I've enjoyed your posts, btw. Glad you are here with us!

[rennigade]

To be honest, this discussion was never intended to be about my relationship. It was about money. For all I know we won’t get a divorce!! No point in getting a divorce lawyer when you’re living in the same house together. And since I’m new to the forum but have already been called “dumb,” I’ll think twice before posting again in the future.

And furthermore, unless you know all the details of my personal life, I’d refrain from recommending marital counseling over a divorce lawyer. How do you know what’s best for me? *smh*

Who cares about your relationship. Its still helpful info for others. Go troll somewhere else.

You've been provided enough helpful info yet you'll continue to ask dumb questions or make dumb statements just to keep it going...goodbye.

[james.hendrickson]

Guys,

Please...no need to engage in name calling, we all have strong viewpoints and its okay if we disagree.

So please lets all just take a step back and chill out.

[henry450]

Alrighty, if you think I'm dumb and trolling, I'll take my business elsewhere. Don't bother commenting any more on this discussion. I won't be back.

[Outdoorsygal]

rennigade woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning

[StormRichards]

To be honest, this discussion was never intended to be about my relationship. It was about money. For all I know we won’t get a divorce!! No point in getting a divorce lawyer when you’re living in the same house together. And since I’m new to the forum but have already been called “dumb,” I’ll think twice before posting again in the future.

And furthermore, unless you know all the details of my personal life, I’d refrain from recommending marital counseling over a divorce lawyer. How do you know what’s best for me? *smh*

This is not a blog, this is a message board. You don't have any control on how people are going to respond or what suggestions they might have. If there is no malice in their response, it is best to just move on when it comes to suggestions that you are not interested in.

I have read through the thread and have seen multiple suggestions, but you seem to focus as much on the things you don't want to discuss as the stuff you do.

As for my input, I like the suggestion of 2016 Roth & 2017 Roth. Set aside the remainder for potential litigation if in the event you need it.