Inheritance question

[LivingAlmostLarge]

My mom and dad are 69 and 90 and have been married like 32 years. My dad had 3 kids, alimony, and 2 mortgages. My mom had me 1 kid and a mortgage. My dad adopted me at 10. Anyway my mom is feeling guilty and I can tell. They have about $1m saved in IRA, roth IRA, and taxable accounts. I can't tell you the split. They have SS for 2, medicare, and a pension. They are fine.

Right now as it stands my mom inherits everything upon my dad's death. I know that she is starting to feel guilty that they do not plan on leaving anything to the 3 other kids and me from dad's estate. She is worried she doens't have enough, I think she should be worried. But now because she's feeling gulity she's saying things like I want to leave it to them upon my death. I said you might outlive them, they are 62 and 63. I pointed out if they feel resentful of getting nothing upon dad's death getting something upon my mom's death will not change anything.

So what to do? I don't have a clue.

[Drake3287]

Nobody should ever expect any inheritance. The last surviving parent should simply live on any and all financial resources they have until they pass away. Let the dominos fall where they may at some point when both are gone. It's no one's fault, it's simply life and she shouldn't feel guilty about anything. I know it's easier said then done though.

[Like2Plan]

My mom and dad are 69 and 90 and have been married like 32 years. My dad had 3 kids, alimony, and 2 mortgages. My mom had me 1 kid and a mortgage. My dad adopted me at 10. Anyway my mom is feeling guilty and I can tell. They have about $1m saved in IRA, roth IRA, and taxable accounts. I can't tell you the split. They have SS for 2, medicare, and a pension. They are fine.

Right now as it stands my mom inherits everything upon my dad's death. I know that she is starting to feel guilty that they do not plan on leaving anything to the 3 other kids and me from dad's estate. She is worried she doens't have enough, I think she should be worried. But now because she's feeling gulity she's saying things like I want to leave it to them upon my death. I said you might outlive them, they are 62 and 63. I pointed out if they feel resentful of getting nothing upon dad's death getting something upon my mom's death will not change anything.

So what to do? I don't have a clue.

What some folks do with blended families is to set up a trust so that the surviving spouse is well cared for during her lifetime and then the remainder goes to all the children. That way the kids from a previous marriage are not left out. If it turns out that your Mom needs lots of care in her later life--she would have what she needs. Then, whatever is left over afterwards would be split according to their desires (per the trust designation).

Or, your Mom could have her will set up so that all her heirs are all the children. (Also, set up any POD accounts to include all the children )

There are all sorts of ways to set this up. Advice from an estate planning attorney would likely help them to achieve all their planned estate goals.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

My suggestion was to split the pot now. 50/50. Then split my dad's share now as well.

[Jordan53]

Nobody should ever expect any inheritance. The last surviving parent should simply live on any and all financial resources they have until they pass away. Let the dominos fall where they may at some point when both are gone. It's no one's fault, it's simply life and she shouldn't feel guilty about anything. I know it's easier said then done though.

Completely agree, my grandparents on my moms side had each of their 3 kids getting 25% and then my two brothers and I getting 8.33% each. When my uncle passed my mom convinced my gpa to cut my brothers and I out of the revised will and he died a year later. It’s caused a big damn rift in the family and would have been so much easier had it went to his surviving children equally all along.

[Like2Plan]

My suggestion was to split the pot now. 50/50. Then split my dad's share now as well.

The only danger to this is if your Mom needs more than 50% towards her care as she ages (if your Dad predeceases your Mom).

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Nobody should ever expect any inheritance. The last surviving parent should simply live on any and all financial resources they have until they pass away. Let the dominos fall where they may at some point when both are gone. It's no one's fault, it's simply life and she shouldn't feel guilty about anything. I know it's easier said then done though.

But this is not their mom. Very true that no expectation but it's hard to not expect when they got an inheritance from their mom. It's a different ballgame with blended families. And Like2plan is right in that what if she does need more than 50%?