How do you guys cope with your significant other during XMas holidays...

[creditcardfree]

It's interesting to hear the different perspectives on this. I worry that we have sanitized our lives so much that we don't need much of anything from anyone, including our mates. Anything we want, we provide for ourselves. Gone is the magic of spontaneous gift-giving. It has been traded for financial prudence so that "I can save my money and you can save yours." I don't think that is a good or healthy thing, personally. While I give some gifts out of a need situation, that is really more welfare - a grant to help someone out. I view most gifts as something unexpected. I want the person to be surprised and enjoy their gift. There is not expectation of something in return - that would ruin the whole deal.

We should definitely all be givers in some form or another for sure!

I tend to prefer inspired gift giving. Giving you a gift I found because it definitely something you want or need, not because it's December 25 or your birthday. Our culture here however seems to have turned toward the expectation of gifts on certain days of the year. Gone are the days that giving your friends jam or cookies for Christmas is enough. Now it has to be store bought, at least in some circles, or it's looked down on.

[disneysteve]

It's interesting to hear the different perspectives on this. I worry that we have sanitized our lives so much that we don't need much of anything from anyone, including our mates. Anything we want, we provide for ourselves. Gone is the magic of spontaneous gift-giving. It has been traded for financial prudence so that "I can save my money and you can save yours." I don't think that is a good or healthy thing, personally.

I view most gifts as something unexpected. I want the person to be surprised and enjoy their gift. There is not expectation of something in return - that would ruin the whole deal.

I think you're making this issue more about money-saving than it really is, at least for us. The reason we don't give each other gifts isn't primarily financial.

I tend to prefer inspired gift giving. Giving you a gift I found because it definitely something you want or need, not because it's December 25 or your birthday.

Exactly this! Thinking of someone when you see an item you know they would really like and buying it for them is great. Going out to search for an item somebody might like just because Christmas/birthday/Valentine's Day/anniversary is coming up is entirely different.

As I said earlier, I went out of town recently. While in Key West, I saw something that was kind of unique that I thought my wife would like, so I bought it for her. I didn't go searching for something to buy her. I just came across this item and thought of her. And she had no expectation that I would come home with a present.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I am not a big gift giver for DH. We stopped years ago. Some of the best gifts we've given each other have been just because of gifts. Gifts we buy that we see and think the other will like. NOT for an occasion. I don't think it means anything that you give gifts or not.

That being said I think more importantly you need to find a balance you can live with. My DH and I are one of those couples where I buy whatever I please for whomever I please and he has no idea. He has no idea I bough $100 bottle of sake for my dad. He has no idea the amount of money I spent on stuff. He's like Oh gifts great for kids. His question to me this season, did we remember to get the kids something? I said yes. He's like great.

I think he'd probably be a little unhappy if he realized what I was spending. But since he doesn't care enough to ask. And that's our compromise. Maybe one day.

[~bs]

^

everyone is different, but his mentality sounds like what mine would be. as long as its reasonable, there's no problems, and I'm glad you're doing it and not me since i dislike doing that type of shopping.