Should married couples have joint or separate accounts?

[bride2b]

Do you think that married couples should have joint or separate banking accounts? How do you split the finances in your family? What is the biggest issue with how you split the finances? Would you do things differently if you had a do-over?

[Buyingahome]

Do you think that married couples should have joint or separate banking accounts? How do you split the finances in your family? What is the biggest issue with how you split the finances? Would you do things differently if you had a do-over?

It doesnt matter if you have Joint or separate accounts, provided you each know about all the accounts. Hiding money or having unknown private accounts its not a smart way to build a happy married home - that would be dishonest.

[disneysteve]

I am a very firm believer in "and the two shall live as one." Once you get married, it stops being "mine" and "yours" and all becomes "ours". My wife and I opened our first joint account when we got engaged and combined everything after we were married. Everything is a joint decision. All money that comes in goes into the same pot. It doesn't matter who earns what. It doesn't matter who was responsible for a particular debt. We work together on everything. There is no way I ever would have married a person I didn't trust 100% with my money.

I think there are a lot of people out there who are what some experts call "married singles". They are married in a legal sense but they still keep their lives separate. They don't combine their finances. They don't work together toward common goals. They don't help each other out. Sometimes one saves for retirement and the other doesn't. I have no idea what they actually plan to do when they retire and only one of them has money but that's how they operate. I can't imagine living like that. If I didn't want to combine my life with someone, I wouldn't have gotten married.

I realize there are plenty of people who disagree with me, including right here at this site, and to each his own, but if you want my opinion, what works for us, this is it.

[TheMom]

We combined immediately. We opened a joint account after we were married and we both moved our monies into it, changed our direct deposits to it, etc. I do have one account just my own - it's at another bank and is solely for paypal. DH knows about it and he asks me to buy things with paypal if necessary. He was just worried and didn't want it at all connected to our regular accounts.

I haven't worked in 10 years. DH makes the money and I spend the money . I do the grocery, clothes, household, shopping. He rarely shops. it works well for us. We discuss most purchases if they are unusual and over about $50. Obviously, I don't clear grocery shopping with him. And, we both have cash that we spend on whatever. But, I don't buy a $100 camera without talking about it with him first. And, neither does he.

I have friends who keep it all separate. I think it sounds harder and they are always owing each other for things. It sounds complicated. I think one friend will retire years before her DH because she is saving for it and he is not. But, he is paying off his half of the house faster! I guess she'll be paying him rent later?? But, it works for them.

[thomasdan]

When my wife and I started dating. We both open a joint account for traveling.(we still had seperate saving and checking acout) WE both loved to travel. My friends thought i was crazy opening an account with someone i just started to date.. But we were friends/co worker 2 years before we started dating. So the trust was already built.

so after, the traveling acount turned into a wedding acount, then into a paying off our debt acount and now its a house downpayment acount.

we share all other accounts. I handle all the bills and my wife adds her paycheck to our savings. works perfect for us. so we both know where ALL of the money is going towards. I believe and just my opinion, being married=one flesh.

[phantom]

My husband and I started thinking of all of our money as being shared the moment we got married, but we took our time actually getting both of our names onto all of our accounts. I think it's important that both partners in a marriage can see all of the money, think of the money as being shared, and have input on big money plans and general spending patterns. But, I think the actual mechanics of whether joint accounts are used or separate accounts are used is less important. It's up to each couple to figure out what works for them.

My husband and I have two primary checking accounts. Both of them have both of our names on them, but my husband's paycheck goes into one that he pays bills out of, and my paycheck goes into one that I pay bills out of. I handle the mortgage, property taxes, and car insurance, while my husband handles the utilities, IRA contributions, and credit card payments, and we both add money to a joint savings account. We could use just one checking account and let one person manage all of the bills, but both of us enjoy money management, and having two accounts, and two defined clearly defined realms of responsibility makes sharing the task easier.

[sblatner]

We combined immediately. We opened a joint account after we were married and we both moved our monies into it, changed our direct deposits to it, etc. I do have one account just my own - it's at another bank and is solely for paypal. DH knows about it and he asks me to buy things with paypal if necessary. He was just worried and didn't want it at all connected to our regular accounts.

I haven't worked in 10 years. DH makes the money and I spend the money . I do the grocery, clothes, household, shopping. He rarely shops. it works well for us. We discuss most purchases if they are unusual and over about $50. Obviously, I don't clear grocery shopping with him. And, we both have cash that we spend on whatever. But, I don't buy a $100 camera without talking about it with him first. And, neither does he.

I have friends who keep it all separate. I think it sounds harder and they are always owing each other for things. It sounds complicated. I think one friend will retire years before her DH because she is saving for it and he is not. But, he is paying off his half of the house faster! I guess she'll be paying him rent later?? But, it works for them.

TheMom - we were the same as you. Married in 1991. He made twice as much as I did. He wanted separate accounts but I told him let's try a joint account for six months and see how it works. Have never looked back. We also had a rule about spending over $50. Not to get approval but just to make sure we weren't both spending extra money at the same time. We didn't have a lot back then so if we both spent an extra $100 in one month, we might not have money to pay bills.

This has worked really well for us. We never fight about money but we are both pretty frugal and don't spend on things we don't need.

[parafly]

My wife and I have one joint checking account, and it works great for us. Admittedly, we both have similar spending habits and financial goals so that helps things run very smoothly.

[HappySaver]

I agree with Steve's point about combining your assets and using joint accounts (we also did that when we were first married); otherwise, it can feel like you're not totally committed or completely living as one family unit.

But, we were married in our 20's with no previous marriages or significant assets. I don't think it's necessarily so simple for everyone. I think when people remarry or have significant assets from before their marriage it may be important, and a good idea, to keep at least some of those assets separate. Still would make sense to have a joint account for joint living expenses.

[MS Cent]

when we marry, we are expected to become one. Sharing is one basic requirement of a married couple. From ideas to problems to thougts, you should share everything. However, when it comes to money and bank accounts, there should be some restrains. Share everything and you will become a slave of your partner. You should both the joint account (for family matters) and a personal account for your personal expenditure. Imagine telling your wife you need to withdraw $20 dollars frim your joint account to buy your buddy a drink!

[Like2Plan]

Married couples should have accounts that work best for them. I can describe an accounting system that works for me and my spouse, but your needs may be entirely different.

DH and I have joint accounts set up, but I am the only one who ever draws cash out of our accounts. DH and I get a cash allowance each week, otherwise we use credit cards for most our expenses (which I pay off at the end of each month--so, I keep an eye on whether we are reaching our maximum allocation in any given month).

I leave the checkbook (with duplicate checks) in a place where we both can find in case one of us has a need to write a check (rare these days ). Neither DH nor I spend a lot of money (outside of travel ) on discretionary spending, so this system works pretty well for us.

[cschin4]

We take the approach of "all in". What is mine is his and what is his is mine. I personally think that is the approach to take unless you have one spouse who has money problems and can't handle money, then maybe it is best to have separate accounts. Sharing your life together means sharing everything. But, that is just my opinion.

[disneysteve]

Share everything and you will become a slave of your partner.

Really. I'm a slave to my wife (and she to me) because we have joint bank accounts? I don't think so. And I think after almost 22 years of marriage we would have figured that out by now.

Both partners should be able to communicate with each other and work together to jointly manage the money so that neither one feels inferior. I never have to ask permission to spend money. My wife never has to ask permission to spend money. But we do frequently DISCUSS how we want to spend money.

[BuckyBadger]

I agree with Steve.

Frankly, I have no idea how people can keep separate finances when they are married - ESPECIALLY where there is a disparity in income levels, or one member of the family doesn't work. Does that mean that a home maker has no value other than what his or her working spouse decides to share? If a public teacher marries a neurosurgeon, should they go on separate vacations? Should the teacher have $200 of his own money to spend a week while the surgeon has $2000 to spend? Will they retire in separate residences that they were able to save for using only their money? Does the teacher fly in coach while his wife the surgeon flies in first class?

It baffles me.

[Petunia 100]

I agree with Steve.

Frankly, I have no idea how people can keep separate finances when they are married - ESPECIALLY where there is a disparity in income levels, or one member of the family doesn't work. Does that mean that a home maker has no value other than what his or her working spouse decides to share? If a public teacher marries a neurosurgeon, should they go on separate vacations? Should the teacher have $200 of his own money to spend a week while the surgeon has $2000 to spend? Will they retire in separate residences that they were able to save for using only their money? Does the teacher fly in coach while his wife the surgeon flies in first class?

It baffles me.

Maybe the one who earns more decides to pay for their joint vacation?

There is no right or wrong, there is only what works for each individual couple.

OP, you and your groom to be should do whatever works best. The two of you do not need the approval of others. Do the two of you have different views on this subject? Is that what is prompting these questions?