Just torn between NICE and FREEDOM

[syracusa]

Trying hard to make this simple without diving into too many details...but if you had to choose between two "house purchase" situations, which one of the two would you incline towards?

1. Option A (WITH "GOODIES"). Located in very nice suburb close to metro area, top notch public schools for the two kids, tons of amenities very close by (some walking distance), older but still nice if renovated, overall much "nicer" environment to raise kids in, more academically oriented, etc . Price: we CAN afford it but it would take at least 15 years to pay it off, with mostly both of us working full-time.

2. Option B (WITH POTENTIAL FOR BUYING FREEDOM). Located in far out there suburb (which I perceive to be a huge sacrifice as I was raised in a large European urban area and I need that sense of "place" for solid mental health ); much weaker access to amenities than Option A, so I would probably spend a lot of time in the car, less good schools (not bad but less good than House A), newer but not necessarily nicer.
Price: about 70,000-100,000 less than House A.
Not only we could VERY EASILY afford House B but if I continued to work full-time for the next 3-4 years we would have it paid off in under 5 years. This would allow me to quit working full-time and reclaim some freedom (sublime, sublime vision).

We are absolutely torn between A and B and know that no matter what path we choose, we would end up second guessing our choice. It simply drives me insane that I cannot have the advantages of both.

I suppose most people here would tell me to go for Option B...but just in case someone sees merits in A, how would you sell this to me?

I should specify that the "niceness" of the house in and of itself is not a major factor here. We are looking at about the same thing in both areas, nothing too luxurious, only that in area A we would buy something older but renovated (so just as "nice" as something in area B; sometimes those in area A can feel even nicer as the houses and neighborhoods there seem more elegant and more established despite being older - or maybe exactly because of that :-) ).

The big considerations area the location, the schools and the difference in price.

It would boil down to:

1. Fancier area closer to metro but pricier (we can, nevertheless, afford it, we wouldn't do anything irresponsible to get into it).

or

2. "Out there" and less "good schools" but extremely affordable, with potential for buying some freedom.

Thank you so much!

[lorraineb]

Option 3? Keep looking in the more desirable area for a quality house that is a bit smaller than the current house you are looking at?

[MonkeyMama]

I would not choose either option. I don't like long commutes (prefer to live close to city center), but don't want to pay top dollar. I'd be digging deeper. There are plenty of wonderful neighborhoods with less perceived and less obvious value - where you can get a better bargain.

[syracusa]

Option 3? Keep looking in the more desirable area for a quality house that is a bit smaller than the current house you are looking at?

We're already looking at relatively basic for our needs. We cannot go too small as husband works 100% from home and I work a lot from home too, so we need an office in addition to the bedrooms; we also have some extended family obligations and we want to have some extra space for guests/family who can come and stay with us for longer periods of time.

Any house significantly below what we're looking at in area A would be downright unpleasant to live in (at least for me).

I am not someone that easily falls for the spiffy-ness and lure of modern living (huge spaces, shiny granites, cathedral ceilings, elegant Paladian windows and who knows what other fancies) but I also know I would hate living in a place that looks like a chicken cottage on the outside, or one that is too cubic and dark on the inside, with low ceilings, little light, etc.
In area A you either get these or you jump straight to quite expensive all the way to terribly expensive.
Almost like the proverbial gap between the rich and the poor that is permanently widening.

Whatever happened to "financially average Joe" and why is there no decent place for him unless he agrees to go to No Man's Land - which takes the decency out of it by default?
Well, this is just rhetorical because I know the answer, which is exactly why I am a major advocate of population control.

We are financially responsible yet financially average Joes, be it with no debts... but we just can't make ourselves accept that average Joes have been banished to the edges of the Earth now. I grew up in a big city, with life and beauty in it - and the fact that average Joes are no longer allowed to live even remotely close to such areas, let alone IN such areas, hasn't registered with me yet.

[Petunia 100]

Why not consider a 30 year mortgage? Work part-time and enjoy your family more. Enjoy living where you want. You can always work harder later, or sell the house when your family is grown. Not every decision in life boils down to money, some decisions are just about the kind of life you want to lead.

[syracusa]

I would not choose either option. I don't like long commutes (prefer to live close to city center), but don't want to pay top dollar. I'd be digging deeper. There are plenty of wonderful neighborhoods with less perceived and less obvious value - where you can get a better bargain.

Have no clue where such places would be in area A.
It's largely either/or around here.

[syracusa]

Why not consider a 30 year mortgage? Work part-time and enjoy your family more. Enjoy living where you want. You can always work harder later, or sell the house when your family is grown. Not every decision in life boils down to money, some decisions are just about the kind of life you want to lead.

We were going to do 30 anyway - just in case; but we do not intend to take 30 years to pay the house off.
We will make heavy additional payments on the house as much as possible - but want to have the wiggle room to NOT do it sometimes if we so choose to.
Hence "30" with the aim of paying the mortgage off much, much sooner.

[kork13]

If you bought House A, is this a home you want for keeps (to or through retirement)? Honestly, I think it's valuable to enjoy the home and neighborhood that you live in....particularly if you & your husband both work mostly out of home. You don't give specific numbers, but as long as your 15-year plan still meets the general rules of thumb of less than 3 times your income and total expenses below 25% of income (plus a sanity check to know that you'll be happy doing it)....I'd say go ahead and get the house that clearly has you much more interested, in spite of the higher price.

I know, I know... I just committed SA-heresy. But many of us all say that money is simply a tool for achieving happiness for ourselves and our families.... As long as the more expensive home is still practical, affordable, and of good quality, I see this simply as a question of balance and trade-off. Would you consider the additional cost of House A worth the added measure of happiness, quality of life, and overall satisfaction that the costlier home would provide? In the end, this is a decision for you to make between yourself and your husband. But I don't think a higher cost (that is still perfectly affordable) should be the single deciding factor against a home that you really seem to prefer.

[~bs]

If house A isn't too much for you to upkeep (too big), then personally I'd go with that, assuming you plan on living in it for a while. I'm not a horribly big spender, but when I do buy something, I tend to lean towards the overkill side. Less chance of regret that the item isn't everything you wanted, and therefore, less chance of the need to upgrade or "trade up" soon afterwards. Of course, a house is a large purchase, so that needs to be taken into consideration.

If I had kids, the quality of the school would be a major consideration.

Also commute time. I currently walk to work. Parents house is in suburbs, and I used to drive to school/work daily. then when i moved out, I kept moving closer and closer into town. To me, I'd rather pay more and get less than to have to deal with 2-3 hours round trip of bumper to bumper traffic daily.

[syracusa]

If you bought House A, is this a home you want for keeps (to or through retirement)? Honestly, I think it's valuable to enjoy the home and neighborhood that you live in....particularly if you & your husband both work mostly out of home. You don't give specific numbers, but as long as your 15-year plan still meets the general rules of thumb of less than 3 times your income and total expenses below 25% of income (plus a sanity check to know that you'll be happy doing it)....I'd say go ahead and get the house that clearly has you much more interested, in spite of the higher price.

I know, I know... I just committed SA-heresy. But many of us all say that money is simply a tool for achieving happiness for ourselves and our families.... As long as the more expensive home is still practical, affordable, and of good quality, I see this simply as a question of balance and trade-off. Would you consider the additional cost of House A worth the added measure of happiness, quality of life, and overall satisfaction that the costlier home would provide? In the end, this is a decision for you to make between yourself and your husband. But I don't think a higher cost (that is still perfectly affordable) should be the single deciding factor against a home that you really seem to prefer.

170,000 current family income with BOTH of us working full-time, but mostly from home.

No traffic considerations for any of us. I do go away to a workplace, but only a couple of times a week, at non-rush hours; and even when it is during rush-hours, I go against the traffic. Husband always works from home.

I admit we do have it very nicely right now in terms of jobs, but they are not easy jobs especially when done from home, where we also have to take care of the household responsibilities and child care throughout the day, ALL while working full-time!!
It can get extremely exhausting by the end of the day for both of us.

Note: this family income might not last forever; in 4 years it may drop to 120,000 or so with me going part-time (I might actually be forced to do so, but we do not know for sure yet).

No debts.

100,000 available for down payment on the house.

House A: 350,000-360,000 (so mortgage would be 250,000-260,000)

House B: 240,000-260,000 (so mortgage would be 140,000-160,000). A beautiful breeze.

We could obviously buy house B off very soon and have 100% zero debts as well as an option for me to say "thanks, but no, thanks" to full-time employment in the future. This would mean a slower pace of life - what an amazing fantasy!
I am not a terribly high energy, achievement-oriented kind of person and I suppose I could qualify as a naturally lazy individual. However, against my will, and against what I have always been naturally inclined to do - I have pushed myself and exerted myself my entire life because I do have a strong sense of duty and never liked to fall back on anyone; and now, with kids, I am trying to make everything come out just right...so I am always on the go.

I envy people who can afford to work less and just have a lot of time to sit around and do nothing. Doing nothing (or largely nothing) is awesome - which is the reason why I envy born-rich people, married-into-riches people, AND people on any kind of welfare.

This and only this keeps option B in the game for me. The thought of being able to buy freedom and a slower pace of life remains extremely attractive.
In fact, more attractive than the practical advantages of Option A...but then again, I also have children to think of ... not just myself and my own freedom.

I am just afraid I will end up torturing myself with second-guessing no matter what we decide to do. My husband is perfectly OK with either of the two options..so he says it's up to me.

This is why I asked here.

[Caoineag]

Personally I value freedom so much that I would do Option B. If you lock yourself into to the more expensive house, you will know that there is no escape and that is far more stressful then knowing you only need to make it a couple of more years. Especially if something bad happens along the way (and inevitably, something bad always happens along the way).

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Option 3, buy crummy home in area A for less money. Pay off house faster then quit job. Seems like you want your cake and eat it to so that's an answer. Buy a home that needs work and do work slowly but live in a house that is livable in the location you want then quit your job you don't like.

Honestly though if household salary is $170k and $120k is one income = $50k, with two kids how much do you bring home really? What do you net after everything? But your kids are probably older and you don't have to pay for childcare or anything right? And if the $120k breadwinner ios able ot focus on working and no time off for kids, no distractions, perhaps they can make up the $50k in income faster.

Just a suggestion. $50k - SS, Medicare, Federal, State taxes, child care, extras how much do you really bring home.

[breathemusic]

I'd take option A. 15 years to pay off a house is not that long considering you have the option to take 30. And while freedom is nice, what is that freedom really going to get you? A higher probability of being unhappy with the area you have and sending your kids to schools that you're not as happy with?

I really don't understand the need to be rid of every last penny of debt as fast as humanly possible. Sure, debt sucks, but clearly your income allows even option A to be easily affordable. The fact that you can still pay off the house in half the time means that you've got plenty of wiggle room to decide if you only want to pay it off early or if you want to split money between paying it off early or other investments or whatever.

No one should ever make a goal to be financially irrisponsible, but sheesh, enjoy your life and do things that make you happy too (when they're within your financial means).

[MonkeyMama]

I still think there are likely options being overlooked.

BUT...

I suppose if I think deeper I am a A person. I mean, we choose to live in California, it is not exactly cheap.

We have also chosen to move to a significantly "less desirable" city (though it is about identical) to cut our housing costs so we don't have to work full-time/both. So then our quality of life is 10 times nicer because we aren't commuting and working all the time. So, I Feel strongly about the third option. People pay a lot of money to live in places because they haven't lifted up their head to look at what else is out there. I see it all the time. !! On the flip side, if we had not been willing to move, we'd be living in an apartment. End of story - that would be our only reasonable option. Sometimes things just have to give. I am not willing to work that much or commute that much, so my choice would be different. If you are willing to work that much, then Option A. These are the kind of choices only you can make based on what is more important to you. IT seems to me you are not happy at all with Option B.

Just some other perspective.

[theduc]

My wife and I were in a similar situation just over a year ago... we had around $120K in the bank from the sale of our condo and were looking at several condo's to purchase that ranged from $100K (100% paid for) up to $200K (50% down). The $100K condo was two blocks from our previous one and we loved the area... the down side is it was TINY (but we could still have lived in it for a couple years but not much longer). The $200K condos were in a nice area but not much within walking distance and very little parking for guest. Then... we found our dream house (condo)! In a third area for $140K (70% down) with everything you could ever need within 1/2 a mile and amazing skyline views. Two weeks after closing I got laid off and was very glad our mortgage was only $250/month!

You may consider other areas but still close to Option A... expand your search criteria a little and you might find exactly what you are looking for.