Going out to dinner with Friends

[Aleta]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Do you mean that your total was $90? How many people were contributing? Frankly, I can understand one bottle of wine for the occasion but anything after that should be shared by the consumers. Sometimes you just have to come out and tell people how you feel.

How about hosting a small group party at your home with the same people contributing some of the menu and a bring your own bottle thing. If you don't drink , don't buy the drinks unless you want to buy something for the birthday couple. I had a friend that bought a wine gift bag and presented it to the birthday person for his gift to them.

We all know that buying drinks in a restaurant is big profit. Maybe some of the people in your group would not like to do this as well. You'd be surprised of how many people I hear complaining about these dinners. So, you might be the first one to opt out. Find a good excuse. Say that this year you have a resolution and that you're saving for something or whatever and don't care about what the others say.

[tinapbeana]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Ugh...My wife and I just went out last night and dropped $90!! to do the "group pay" thing for a friend's birthday dinner. What do you do in a situation like that? Just not go to the birthday dinner? Tell your friends to stop ordering wine? When the bill came I was feeling my jaw drop, but tried not to show that to the friends.

if it were me in this situation, i'd tell the waiter/waitress up front that you would like a separate check for just you, your wife, and the birthday person. sounds like you would still come out ahead bill-wise, and if other folks want to chip in on the birthday dinner they can fork some cash over to you!

other option: bill alcohol separately as it really adds up!

[disneysteve]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Do you mean that your total was $90? How many people were contributing?

The number of people contributing doesn't really matter if everyone paid an equal share. Or were you just curious what the total bill was?

[disneysteve]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

What do you do in a situation like that? Just not go to the birthday dinner? Tell your friends to stop ordering wine?.

If I felt the share assigned to me was really out of line, I'd say so. "Excuse me, but doesn't that bill include "X" bottles of wine? My wife and I didn't have any of it. It isn't really fair to make us pay for it."

[Aleta]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

To DisneySteve: I wasn't really curious about the bill. I just thought that $90. was a lot for a contribution. We have gone out to dinners like that where we were celebrating an engagement for our son and there were 6 of us and we dined in a very exclusive place in Orlando and our bill was nothing like that and we had entertainment as well. That's why I wanted to know how many people were contributing. I don't really care about how much the bill was, that's irrelavant.

[disneysteve]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

To DisneySteve: I wasn't really curious about the bill. I just thought that $90. was a lot for a contribution.

All depends on the restaurant. There are plenty of places around here where $45/person for dinner (especially including tax and tip) isn't unusual at all. That's only $35.43/person for the meal plus 7% tax and 20% tip. Actually, there are lots of places around here where that wouldn't come close to covering the bill, especially if there were a few bottles of wine involved.

[Ima saver]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

We really prefer to eat by ourselves, but the last group dinner, I just asked for a seperate check. Our favorite restaurant in Gatlinburg, does not take credit cards. I have seen people have to leave cause they have no cash. they finally put in an ATM. That does not help people like me, who have no ATM card.

[cschin4]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I think if you go out to a birthday party you should just expect to pay. If you don't have the cash for this, just say "no thank you" and don't go. No explanations needed.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

$90 is getting off cheap I think. That's just a 3 drinks out for a couple each, which is terrible. I hate going out to drink and DH knows how I feel about it. A bottle of wine cheap is $20. Of course it depends on the restaurant, but disneysteve's calculation on a $35 dinner is not overly bad if a nice sit down resturant is $20-25/entree. Even TGIFridays (not a place I like), but for example runs $15-20/entree dinner.

[disneysteve]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Even TGIFridays (not a place I like), but for example runs $15-20/entree dinner.

Yep. Add $5 for an appetizer, $4 for dessert and $6 for an alcoholic drink and you're at $35. And that's in a cheesy chain restaurant. Go to an upscale place and $50/person is pretty common.

[Ima saver]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I guess it bothers me, cause we never get appetizers or dessert. We brown bag our own drinks, so our meals are pretty reasonable. I can usually eat out for under a $20 a couple around here. (and then I bring half of it home)

[safari]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

When I get invited to a restaurant for a birthday, I usually bring $100 (per person) and give that money to the birthday person. The other guests do the same. We never get to see the actual bill, as the birthday person pays for it. This works well for us. The money that guests bring is usually enough to cover the cost of food, leaving a little extra as birthday present. $100 may seem extravagant to some, but we usually go to really posh restaurants with live entertainment and order a lot of food and alcohol.

[pearlieq]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Yep. Add $5 for an appetizer, $4 for dessert and $6 for an alcoholic drink and you're at $35. And that's in a cheesy chain restaurant. Go to an upscale place and $50/person is pretty common.

I actually got caught off guard by this just this week. We were at Applebees, of all places, and in my head I was expecting to pay about $10 - $12. I was flabbergasted when my portion of the bill was $25! For Applebees!

It added up, though. $3 for my half of the appetizer, $3 for my drink, $8 for my sandwich, and $5 for my dessert. Add in tax and tip and I was at $25.

My friend drank and I didn't so we just removed her bar tab and split the bill. I think I learned an important lesson on staying mindful of what you're ordering. It's so easy, especially out with "the girls", to be so caught up in gabbing and having a good time that you're really not paying attention. My dessert was good, but it wasn't worth $5 and I certainly didn't need it after everything else we ate.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

LOL. It really depends on where you live. I found I could eat cheaper in CA than in the NE, because they have a lot more Ethnic food places that are cheap. In the NE cheap is chain places. And nice joints well, they are abound in the city. Probably why we don't eat out as much, no more $3 burritos or $5 pho. Miss my comfort food.

$50 at a nice restaurant is pretty easy to hit. One glass of wine is more like $7-10 a glass. Try eating at an italian place where the entree is $20. Ugh. Now I know why I hate eating out here.

[disneysteve]

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

$50 at a nice restaurant is pretty easy to hit.

If you're ever in Philly, check out Le Bec Fin (www.lebecfin.com). Their prix fixe dinner is $135/person. Yes, I've been there and yes, it's spectacular. We've actually eaten there several times but fortunately, we were never the ones paying.