Going out to dinner with Friends

**Broken Arrow** · 01-15-2007, 06:20 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Eh? Why split even? Separate checks works just fine. Or perhaps I'm just calloused that way, because I've always done separate checks.

Actually, that reminds me of a funny story about me hanging out and this macho, ex-military, physical trainer buddy of mine. And you know, when us macho guys hook up, we don't do the sweet and sensitive pillow talk to each other. No, we do the male chest-thumping, Lord of the Jungle, quasi-hetero affirmation gorilla thing.

"Yo man, I gotcha covered."
"Dude, separate check is fine."
"Nah, you covered me the last time."
"Only because you were short on cash last time. Besides, it's not like this is a date."
"Man, I can't believe you went there. Again.

This is not a date!"
"Of course not! That's why we do separate checks! Roar!"
"Besides, you are soooo not my type. Roar!"
"That's right. And don't take this the wrong way, but there's no way I'd spoon with you even if you did cover the check. Roar!"
"Ugh, that's disgusting! Separate check it is! Roar!"
"Roar!"

**Daylily** · 01-15-2007, 06:27 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Unfortunately, yes, it does make you look cheap. I can say that because I'm in the same boat with you! If you can't get your coworkers/friends to split the bill based on what each person ordered, then perhaps you might have to just start declining the invitations.

**frugalmomof1** · 01-15-2007, 06:33 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

BA---That's too funny.

DH and I are close friends with one couple who are about 15 years older than we are. We used to go out to dinner once or twice a week before DS was born and we spent our money more freely on things like going out to dinner.

Since DS has been born we have gone out a few times, but the last time kind of bugged me a bit.
DH, 1/2 of the couple and I split a pizza. DH got a soda and I ordered a water. Our male friend had 2 beers, and his wife ordered eggplant parm and a soda.
We figured our share of the bill would be $12 MAX (and that is being generous...pizza was less than $10, split 3 ways!!) but our male friend always adds up the bill, and he said $22 will be good. Huh?
We did get to take the 2 slices of leftover pizza, though.

**PRICEPLUS** · 01-15-2007, 08:01 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Seperate checks is okay with me. If I am with friends We'll split the bill. If the bill splitting gets annoying I have been known to just grab the check and pay the whole damn thing. There is nothing more annoying to me than some people trying to split nickels on the bill.

I guess that is why I generally go out with family or very close friends! That is just my outlook on it!

**pearlieq** · 01-15-2007, 08:05 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Honestly I do find life too short to worry over who had a $4.00 salad versus who had an $7.50 appetizer. It usually comes out even enough in the end.

The only thing I do insist on these days is taking out the bar bill before we split the check. But otherwise, if we all ordered the same number of courses and/or split things, I'm not going to hold out for a few dollars.

If my dining partner asked for separate checks I wouldn't mind, but generally I don't care enough to do it.

Maybe next time you go out with co-workers you could just say "Can we take out the bar bill before we split the tab?". I'm assuming everyone knows you weren't drinking and I doubt they'd be offended.

**creditnet** · 01-15-2007, 10:40 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I feel the same as you. And seeing from the post history that many people feel the same way, I've come to the conclusion that the outcome of the situation normally depends on who receives the check. If I get the check, I'll figure out what I owe, then pass it onto the next person. However, if someone who is much more relaxed about money (who oftentimes happens to be the person who has ordered 2 glasses of wine while everyone else has had 1 or none), then that person will simply say "let's split it", and that is that. No one wants to feel cheap speaking up.

So when I'm out in groups, I try to always get the check and pass it on.

**safari** · 01-15-2007, 11:09 PM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

When I am out with friends, we usually order so much stuff, that it's virtually impossible to figure out how much each person has to pay, so we always split the bill equally. With coworkers we also split the bill, but we do the drinks separately, so only the people who ordered drinks pay for them. I really don't care if I have to pay a few extra dollars more occasionally because in the end it all balances out.

**PRICEPLUS** · 01-16-2007, 01:10 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I think separating the bar tab is a very helpful thing to do in figuring who owes what.

**rduell** · 01-16-2007, 04:29 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

We always just ask for separate bills up front. If it's a large group, and the restaurant won't do separate bills, we've always just paid for our own. I don't think we've ever just split the bill.

**LivingAlmostLarge** · 01-16-2007, 10:22 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

We've gotten better about declining meals out. We prefer to split the bill based on amount eaten because DH watches what we eat (weight conscious) and so we don't typically do appetizers, etc. We'll even share a meal and a salad not for cost, but portion control. Yeah I have another 30 lbs to lose now, I had lost a lot but gained it back end of the year.

So I guess I do have issues with going out to eat and paying for others.

**disneysteve** · 01-16-2007, 10:43 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I don't go out with others very much, but when we do, we usually split the bill unless what was ordered was grossly different. Like Ima, if it is a matter of a few dollars one way or the other, I won't fuss.

Of course, I try to be the one to collect the cash, then use my rewards CC to charge the bill and get the points.

I always ask first, though, to be sure nobody minds me doing that.

**fairy74** · 01-16-2007, 10:46 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

I always ask for seperate bills, unless we are treating someone. If someone is offended by that or doesn't like it too bad. Most of our friends are pretty thrifty, so it's not usually an issue but if it's someone who's really spendy I'll offer to make dinner at home....

**boefixepa** · 01-16-2007, 11:02 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Set the expectations before you order. When the waitress first comes, tell her that this will be on separte tickets. Then everyone knows they will be paying for what they order. In my experience those who want to 'spit it 4 ways' are really looking for a discount on the meal. If I order an appitizer, I will gladly share it with the table, but I want it on my tab. I WILL NOT pay for someones drinks or their shrimp...sorry.

**tinapbeana** · 01-16-2007, 11:11 AM

Re: Going out to dinner with Friends

Originally posted by disneysteve

Of course, I try to be the one to collect the cash, then use my rewards CC to charge the bill and get the points.

I always ask first, though, to be sure nobody minds me doing that.

i'm my college days, this was known as 'trumping'

my sister still asks who's paying cash because she has the 'trump card'

Going out to dinner with Friends