Sending my son to college today

[TexasHusker]

And I would stress again to also focus on the positives YOU and your spouse will enjoy.

I'm not suggesting that this applies to you or TH but one thing that I think is a growing problem is parents who are so hyper-involved in their kids' lives, the helicopter parents. They find themselves totally lost and distraught when their kid goes away to college. So much of their lives have totally revolved around doing everything and anything with and for their kid that when the kid leaves, the parents are devastated.

Certainly, my wife and I have always been there for our daughter and have been supportive and done all kinds of things with her, but we also always made sure to maintain our own lives and our relationship. So when DD went off to college, we still had plenty of interests and activities to pursue just the two of us. We looked forward to that day when we dropped her off at college. We really enjoyed being a couple again.

I think we have been hyper-involved. The flip side of that is that neither my wife nor myself came from any sort of nurturing family. I was basically on my own at around age 14, and my wife lived in a household with a badly abusive father.

My wife and I made some vows along with our usual marital vows in order to break some cycles. We would love our kids to the fullest extent possible, and we wouldn't get divorced. My son has many friends over at our house all the time. We feed them and drink them, and provide plenty of places for them to hang out, play ping pong, and cards. Just three nights ago, we had probably 8 kids hooting and hollering well past midnight. We just make them up a bunch of popcorn, a case or two of waters, a big box of Motts, put in our ear plugs, and go to bed. We've loved every minute of it.

So yes, we probably swung the pendulum the other way for sure.

[corn18]

I think we have been hyper-involved. The flip side of that is that neither my wife nor myself came from any sort of nurturing family. I was basically on my own at around age 14, and my wife lived in a household with a badly abusive father.

My wife and I made some vows along with our usual marital vows in order to break some cycles. We would love our kids to the fullest extent possible, and we wouldn't get divorced. My son has many friends over at our house all the time. We feed them and drink them, and provide plenty of places for them to hang out, play ping pong, and cards. Just three nights ago, we had probably 8 kids hooting and hollering well past midnight. We just make them up a bunch of popcorn, a case or two of waters, a big box of Motts, put in our ear plugs, and go to bed. We've loved every minute of it.

So yes, we probably swung the pendulum the other way for sure.

We did the same thing. We much preferred having the crew at our house so at least we knew where they were vs. someone else's house. So we had the basement set up for kids with a pool table, ping pong, darts and the biggest TV in the house with a kick butt stereo setup. And all the free food and non-alcoholic drinks they wanted. Loved every minute of it.

Now that we have been empty nesters for 2 years, we are definitely enjoying the freedom that provides. We remember the days of yore longingly, but appreciate each other a lot more. Now we need to downsize the house and that is proving interesting. Can't find a house that has the open concept entertainment area that is large and well appointed without going to 4 bedrooms and 3,000 sq ft+. We may have to build something.

[TexasHusker]

We did the same thing. We much preferred having the crew at our house so at least we knew where they were vs. someone else's house. So we had the basement set up for kids with a pool table, ping pong, darts and the biggest TV in the house with a kick butt stereo setup. And all the free food and non-alcoholic drinks they wanted. Loved every minute of it.

Now that we have been empty nesters for 2 years, we are definitely enjoying the freedom that provides. We remember the days of yore longingly, but appreciate each other a lot more. Now we need to downsize the house and that is proving interesting. Can't find a house that has the open concept entertainment area that is large and well appointed without going to 4 bedrooms and 3,000 sq ft+. We may have to build something.

What we are finding is that anything new construction is 3300 square foot minimum if it is a quality home. You can buy the cheap stuff all day long with 1800 feet, but if you want anything custom, they just don't make them that small. The lots in the good neighborhoods cost too much for a builder to come out by building anything small, at least that's what they say.

We have 3500 square feet, but 900 of that is upstairs. What I would like to do is buy a pretty brand spanking new 3500 square foot house with one level, including a billiards room off to the side - so that my son can hang out with all his college buddies during the breaks and my daughter can do the same with her friends.

They like to have these big Bible studies at our house too with 50-60 kids sometimes, so I'm trying to get set up better for that.

We will downsize in 7-8-9 more years.

[JoeP]

Son goes for second year in 1 week, daughter for her first in 2 weeks. I am not worried about either, they are good kids and know right from wrong. Yes, they will make mistakes, and I'd much rather have them learn from those at a young age where they have not become stubborn yet.

The tough part will be coming back to a very quiet house. I don't suspect I'll get bored, but I will miss the interactions (although, truthfully, with jobs and all, we have not crossed paths too often in the last couple months).

Yes, time flies so fast. I hope the next 20 years goes a little slower!

[bjl584]

Congrats on raising him right and getting him off to college

[LivingAlmostLarge]

No. I am teary eyed reading this. I feel life is passing much too fast. I sent my 1st and 3rd grader to school today on the bus. Sigh.