inheritance, do you want one?

[phantom]

Treating children differently shouldn't happen. Rewarding failure and punishing success shouldn't happen. I don't know what people are thinking when they do that.

I think it depends on circumstances. My sister has a nearly invisible learning disability that makes it very unlikely that she will ever be able to earn much money. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a slacker or mooch and someone with legitimate challenges, but it's hard to say that my sister doesn't have legitimate challenges. She works hard and spends her money carefully, but she would struggle to maintain a comfortable lifestyle without help from my parents. If I didn't care about my sister, I might be inclined to call the unequal treatment unfair. But, I think it makes a lot of sense.

[sv2007]

If there is any inheritance to be had when a family member checks out, I'd prefer they gift it to others in the family who need it more than us.

You can always give it away.

I much rather that my parents use up their money and leave very little or nothing.

[disneysteve]

I think it depends on circumstances. My sister has a nearly invisible learning disability that makes it very unlikely that she will ever be able to earn much money. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a slacker or mooch and someone with legitimate challenges, but it's hard to say that my sister doesn't have legitimate challenges. She works hard and spends her money carefully, but she would struggle to maintain a comfortable lifestyle without help from my parents. If I didn't care about my sister, I might be inclined to call the unequal treatment unfair. But, I think it makes a lot of sense.

That's entirely different. I agree with that 100%. What I was talking about was kid A goes to college, gets a degree, gets a good job and makes a nice living while kid B screws around, never finishes school, and bounces from one dead-end job to another. Mom and Dad rewrite the will to leave the bulk of the estate to kid B since he "needs" it more. That's the kind of stuff that just breeds resentment and often leads to the kids fighting and cutting ties with each other.

If the kids are all in agreement with an uneven distribution, that's perfectly fine of course, especially if there are special circumstances or special needs to account for.

[sv2007]

That's entirely different. I agree with that 100%. What I was talking about was kid A goes to college, gets a degree, gets a good job and makes a nice living while kid B screws around, never finishes school, and bounces from one dead-end job to another. Mom and Dad rewrite the will to leave the bulk of the estate to kid B since he "needs" it more. That's the kind of stuff that just breeds resentment and often leads to the kids fighting and cutting ties with each other.

If the kids are all in agreement with an uneven distribution, that's perfectly fine of course, especially if there are special circumstances or special needs to account for.

What if kid B has an invisible disability, one that's missed by doctors or not yet discovered/classified ?

[disneysteve]

What if kid B has an invisible disability, one that's missed by doctors or not yet discovered/classified ?

I'll just leave this topic be. I'm happy to agree to disagree on splitting inheritances unevenly.

Again, part of why we had ONE child.

[Nutria]

What if kid B has an invisible disability, one that's missed by doctors or not yet discovered/classified ?

What if an asteroid is forecast to hit the planet next year, wiping out all of civilization? Then there's no use at all for saving any money.

What if the ne'er do well wins a $1.5 billion PowerBall the month before his parents die? Then he is the one won't need the larger amount of the estate?

What if the super successful is a Type A wife and child abuser? Shouldn't they deserve some money?

IOW, you can play What If games until the cows come home, thinking up all sorts of crazier and more and more unlikely scenarios.

[bjl584]

What if kid B has an invisible disability, one that's missed by doctors or not yet discovered/classified ?

I don't think that question can be answered. If no one knows about it, including the parents who are now deceased, then how could have anyone possibly planned or accounted for it when they were alive?

This would be one of those situations that "fell through the cracks" so to speak. If a condition is discovered at some point in the future, then it would be up to the surviving family members to care for that individual, assuming that some of the inheritance still exists at that point in time. If it is decades in the future, and there is no more inheritance, then the family will need to figure it out with their own money and resources.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We'll likely get inheritances but I hope not. I wish my parents and in-laws would enjoy it and spend freely. Yeah my mom at 64 is still ridiculously "retired" but still saving into a Roth IRA and saving money from her pension. It's so ridiculous I can't help but sigh. So probably yes, but are we planning for it? no. We're actually fine without a penny from either side. We'll probably be those people who retire early with a hefty nest egg and get even more.