Gift Giving Etiquette

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Quick question if you know the approximate value of a gift given to my kid for their birthday and the friend has a birthday coming up in 2 weeks are you required to give a gift in approximate value?

I ask because a friend mailed us a present of about $40 plus wrapping from Amazon. I do usually send a present but usually $20-25, seem to be party standard, and I don't pay for wrapping.

Do I need to feel guilty for spending $20-25? Should I spend more? Do I need to spend more?

[ua_guy]

I think the regular rules always apply: A gift is a gift, and when there are expectations, then it ceases to be a gift. Give what you are comfortable giving and within the limits of your own budget (?)

If the kids and you as parents are good friends, then it might be more about reciprocity, but it should never be about matching, or one-upping the other with bigger/better gifts for the kids.

I've seen this happen with my nieces' birthday parties and it gets pretty ridiculous. Be generous if that's your style, but also stick to your limits. It ain't a competition

[disneysteve]

Quick question if you know the approximate value of a gift given to my kid for their birthday and the friend has a birthday coming up in 2 weeks are you required to give a gift in approximate value?

Absolutely not. You give what you are comfortable giving and can afford to give.

Think of it this way. What if your wealthy brother gave your kid $1,000 for his birthday. Would you give your nephew $1,000 on his birthday? Of course not.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Please don't feel obliged that way.

[FLA]

$20-25 is the going kid gift rate around here, I don't think you need to go higher.

[SavingSteve]

Give what you're comfortable giving. If you give a thoughtful gift it's not about the value.

[msomnipotent]

Stay within your budget. I use my credit card points to pay for Amazon things and this person may have done so too. Plus, you don't want to start a precedent and both of you be trapped into giving $40 gifts until your kids stop talking to each other. And if I gave a $40 gift to someone and my daughter received a $20 gift, I wouldn't think twice about it.

[creditcardfree]

Give what you normally give or want to give. Don't be influenced by how much someone spent. Maybe she had a gift card and didn't even spend that much out of her own pocket. Stick to your plan.

[bjl584]

Give what you can afford.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I decided to give my normal amount of $20-25. I just ordered what I would have. Although I still feel guilty.