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I come off as an a$$ hole when I talk about personal finance. halp.

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Weird Tolkienish Figure View Post
    Wow that is stupid... so my self worth is determined by the size of my bank account?
    No. You've got it backwards. Her point is that having low self-worth often leads to low net worth. Not the other way around.
    Steve

    * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
    * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
    * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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    • #32
      Stupid logic

      Originally posted by Weird Tolkienish Figure View Post
      Wow that is stupid... so my self worth is determined by the size of my bank account?
      Nice, I love when anyone with a brain looks at the financial diatribe these "experts" dribble, it quickly becomes apparent how fragile the pretences are, and more often as not as you demonstrated, the complete stupidity of what they say. They will spout anything in name of financial education/selling their latest book.

      I remember when suze preached buying second hand cars right up until she was sponsored by GM, then new was the only way to go.

      Im not a fan of the Suze Orman, Robert Kyosaki, Tia Lopez, Tony Robbins, T.harv Eker feel good repackaged general financial knowledge cultist crap.

      These people are the Apex predators in "a fool and his money are easily parted".

      Classic comment.

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      • #33
        I think I got it mixed up, Suze Orman said something like a person's self-worth is a reflection of their net worth. Not that it matters to me but I may have inadvertently flipped that phrase around.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by QuarterMillionMan View Post
          I think I got it mixed up, Suze Orman said something like a person's self-worth is a reflection of their net worth. Not that it matters to me but I may have inadvertently flipped that phrase around.
          Ok... yeah I see it now.

          I'd probably say something like "all too often low or negative net worth is a reflection of low self-worth" which is absolutely true.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by FLA View Post
            I've been thinking about this. In certain situations, I say something. If it looks like my dad is about to make a huge bonehead move with the 401k-like vehicle he has from being a State worker. He gave me great financial advice growing up, I figure I owe him, even if he doesn't want to listen. Turnabout is fair play! Or if they are not handling some huge expense properly. Like when the doctor put my mom on two life-prolonging meds that each cost 5k a month. And they just figured, if it takes 10 k a month to keep her alive, they'll do it. BUT they don't even MAKE anywhere close to 10k a month! I call the doc's nurse and explain this and ask if there are drug company subsidies available for these 2 drugs? Yup. It's been at least 5 yrs, they haven't had to pay a penny. So they may hate me interfering but I've saved them a ton of money over the years.

            the only time I speak up and do have full blown, unstoppable Financial Tourettes is with my brother. He's 42, a computer genius, in high school, working part time, he made double my dad's salary. He has had such amazing jobs that paid so much and he is in debt up to his eyeballs. He's had wonderful opportunities, he worked for Sir Tim Berners-Lee, actual web inventor, had the opportunity to work with people I adore, like Noam Chomsky. Lived in Boston for 20-plus years. Ignored real estate opportunities because he didn't feel like it, meanwhile Boston was costing more for lodging than LA and NYC. If he had timed it right, he would've walked away with a nice chunk of change. After years of offering to help, because he eventually just stopped opening mail, shoving it all in a lawn and leaf bag, he said yes.

            I get there and he goes, "gotta grab some papers from the car." OMG, he had armfuls of unpaid parking tickets, I started adding those up, all the penalties for ignoring them all, I thought I was going to stroke. I said, "you do realize, some of these letters mention JAIL TIME?" "That will never happen, they just put a boot on, I pay some, they take it off." "But you didn't open these, you had court dates." "It's Boston, no big deal, I'll write them a check. Besides the car is dead, they can have it. Are you gonna be this naggy the whole time?" He leaves a dead car in a spot that gets tickets and that's the plan? That is not a plan! It's a cheap Honda, 10 years old, he never once changed the oil because "I don't believe in oil changes. Oh, maybe we can go new car shopping while you are here!" This is what I had to work with???

            It turned out to be 2 lawn and leaf bags of unopened mail. I ended up staying a week, contacted all his debtors and set up payment plans, got his interest lowered on most, he had a bad skiing injury and ended up in a hospital not on his insurance plan, that bill was like 60k. They agreed to take $20 a month interest free til he pays it off (or dies, because he will never pay that off, lol). We were gonna do a budget, trying to put the max towards debt. I mentioned he should stop eating out twice a day, he reacted like that would be cruel and unusual punishment. I finally lost it and yelled, "do you even realize how good you could have it? You could have been retired 2 times over by now if you had bothered to use your 401k, bought a home. I do not understand how you can make so many times more than me (like TEN times more than me), yet are so in debt, have a crappy apartment and your car is dead because "I don't believe in oil changes"! And you have jail threats and missed court dates and you don't care!" All from stupid **** like always picking up the tab, having the latest high tech crap, he truly had nothing to show for all the money he spent except a ginormous tv and complicated set up. That was his ONLY asset! He did stick to the payment plans, I highly doubt he put anything into his 401k (I did set it up and picked a few index funds, he just had to turn in a form to get started) but he was slowly going in the right direction.

            Then he meets a girl. Crap, here we go again. She moves in but he literally pays every single thing, every bite of food she eats, he bought, no rent, nothing. And she's a freaking lawyer with a good job! I cannot respect a woman who does what she is doing. She's probably saving all the dough she can so she can retire in ten years and dump my brother's stupid ass. I know I helped him when he was depressed and could not deal with the mess he made and he did do better. But this woman paying nothing just adds to his expenses, why would you want to be with someone like that? She'll bail eventually, and when he fills 2 bags again, I'll wait for the call and try to fix it.

            I'll give him credit, he realized he should not be buying a car when he does not need one in his city. But I'm taking the credit back because I found out the Honda is still sitting the same spot collecting tickets! How can someone who truly is so smart and successful be such a financial mess?

            so I take it back, it's ok to gently intervene if you are worried about elderly, ill parents. It is not ok to keep bringing up finances no matter how much of an ass**** your brother is, you have to wait for him to bring it up. And then Tourette's your ass off, you'll feel better, lol, until he conversationally tells a funny story how his credit rating is in the 400s. Walk away.

            hope you are an only child!
            It was an interesting read.

            From what you describe, you brother is a "genius scruff" and the worldly rules don't apply. He probably doesn't want to live in the real world with strict checks and rules. People like him constantly imagine, constantly tinker, and some of them come out with great inventions.

            Yes, you did great favors to him...but he will probably forget about it and go back to being he is: Just a curious kid who is interested in playing around.

            Unfortunately a lot of genius scruffs were poor. Nikola Tesla came to my mind when I read this post.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by FLA View Post
              I've been thinking about this. In certain situations, I say something. If it looks like my dad is about to make a huge bonehead move with the 401k-like vehicle he has from being a State worker. He gave me great financial advice growing up, I figure I owe him, even if he doesn't want to listen. Turnabout is fair play! Or if they are not handling some huge expense properly. Like when the doctor put my mom on two life-prolonging meds that each cost 5k a month. And they just figured, if it takes 10 k a month to keep her alive, they'll do it. BUT they don't even MAKE anywhere close to 10k a month! I call the doc's nurse and explain this and ask if there are drug company subsidies available for these 2 drugs? Yup. It's been at least 5 yrs, they haven't had to pay a penny. So they may hate me interfering but I've saved them a ton of money over the years.
              Whoa! And I thought I was a good daughter when I saved my parents $400 by showing them that travel insurance is included on their credit card and they don't need to buy it separately.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by avil_saver36 View Post
                It was an interesting read.

                From what you describe, you brother is a "genius scruff" and the worldly rules don't apply. He probably doesn't want to live in the real world with strict checks and rules. People like him constantly imagine, constantly tinker, and some of them come out with great inventions.

                Yes, you did great favors to him...but he will probably forget about it and go back to being he is: Just a curious kid who is interested in playing around.

                Unfortunately a lot of genius scruffs were poor. Nikola Tesla came to my mind when I read this post.
                the thing with him, all of his HS and college close friends invented something computer-isn when they were 20 and some now have their own planes and never worked again. I keep waiting, and waiting for the app that changes the world, something, anything.

                Perhaps he will be discovered posthumously, would serve him right, he is always late, lol

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by tiffany85 View Post
                  Okay so I've gotten into this personal finance stuff lately. It's fantastic.

                  However, I'm starting to become a bitc& because of it. Like, someone gets a nice car and I don't really shower them with compliments. Someone talks about day trading and I all but tell them they are stupid. I look down on people. I use my PF knowledge as a pedistole in which to do so. I think I have a disease.

                  Has anyone else gotten this way after first getting started with PF? Please. I'm seriously mean sometimes. I normally like a mouse. Hense my avatar. I should change it to a bear,
                  @Tiffany85

                  It's a process. We all learn and grow at different phases of life. I can relate because after being on personal finance forums like SA and learning so much I really became frustrated with people in 2013 and 2014. It came across I think a lot in my posts and writing.

                  As another poster mentioned just remember when you were first starting out. Perhaps look for opportunities to help people and tell them about how much better life is that you're getting your finances in order.

                  Look at as the cup is half full. It's an opportunity for a positive spin or a private message of encouragement. Point them in the direction of learning and growing in the area of personal finance.

                  Hang in there!
                  ~ Eagle

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