What made you want to have kids?

[VinceMcMan]

I never had kids.. and will probably never have them.
I am not married, and people annoy me more everyday.

I think I will just get rich and drink whiskey alone in a dark room. Yeah that's what I will do! Kids maybe. If i could find someone to even fall in love with.

[FLA]

My life plan was work/date etc and hopefully marry in my early 30s, and babies after that before the eggs dried up. Then I met my ex-husband at 22, married by 24, (he was quite a bit older than me, he was 100% ready for kids, makes sense. But I was not feeling the baby clock ticking, I did not feel baby crazy, I actually worried I would never feel maternal.

But at 25 we stopped the pill, I thought I'd have time to adjust, nope, morning sickness started 4 weeks after stopping the pill. I freaked out a little, (as in taking 7 pregnancy tests before I believed it!). The day before I had just said to my mother (who very much wanted grandchildren) would it be ok with her if we tried this and it didn't work and we just stayed with dogs, rather than babies? To her credit, she said of course and then probably cried for 4 hours, lol. So she was a little shocked to hear about the positive pregnancy test. I made ex keep running out for more. My mom would wait on the phone to hear what each test said. By number 7, there was an intervention and my ex and my mom convinced me that it was real.

Then I went into pre-term labor at 5 months and the possibility that my son might not make it, broke my heart and broke down that wall of not feeling maternal. That was my child and I would do anything at all to keep him alive and living on the inside of me. Went into pre-term labor at 4 months with my DD, she made it full term but boy was that scary and hard. Adam was only 6 weeks early.

Been divorced a long time, my ex was not a good man, however, had I not met him, i would not have these two exact amazing kids, so I will always be grateful. And it turns out, I'm glad I didn't follow my plan. I like still being relatively youngish as they are about to launch. Best, hardest and it's cliche, but I did not know love fully until having them

so people who have ambivalence about it, don't beat yourself up. In a way, it was sheer luck for me because God knows I was not ready to be pregnant one month off the pill. I was ambivalant and was worried I lacked the maternal gene. I found it, it had always been there.

[FLA]

I never had kids.. and will probably never have them.
I am not married, and people annoy me more everyday.

I think I will just get rich and drink whiskey alone in a dark room. Yeah that's what I will do! Kids maybe. If i could find someone to even fall in love with.

at least no dark room, can you get Netflix or books, and a dog so I don't have to worry about a complete stranger?

people annoy me too, not patients and families usually, but everyone else? Annoying!

[Singuy]

Wanting kids is part of our biology/our instinct. Without wanting kids, our species could not have survived. I think that's the primary reason why most people have kids teenage pregnancies notwithstanding.

I think the instinct you are talking about is wanting to have sex, but not really wanting to have kids, two totally different things.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Just thought they were cute.

[AngelineRose]

I believe that there are all kinds of wealth out there. Sure having financial weath is nice but it does not make my heart sing nearly as much as it does for me to achieve richness of loving relationships with others. I take joy when I spend time with my family and friends and this is what makes my world go around.

So it was natural for me to want children. I only have one son so far, he is a lot of work, but I would do it all over in a heartbeat. I love teaching him many things, caring and affections, watching him learn and grow each day. I feel plenty abundance with my returns in this kind of investment. Infact my life became more richer than I thought possible and my little heart has been exercised, tugged, stretched so much that it expanded only to yield a greater capacity to love even more. No, I wouldn't have children if I knew I could not support the basics and have their needs met. But I also don't need several million dollars, fancy house and car.

[AngelineRose]

I just wanted to add that I have a blue personality code which means that intimacy and connections is what drives me and my passions. Others may be rather be motivated by power, peacemaker, or fun and etc which makes a difference with our wants and goals. No wrong or right answer as long as all are taken cared of and safe.

[Blessed]

My spouse loved kids. He had been a teenage uncle and had watched them a lot. I had never been around kids besides these and they were 3-6 years old. I thought they were cute and funny but that was about it. I was shocked when our birth control failed. He was euphoric I didn't like or dislike babies. Mine was the first I had ever held, Fed etc. A few years later it was a conscious choice to have another. I would change non of it. Now they are both in college.

[JoeP]

Nothing "made" me want to have kids. Influences included:
- Patience
- Interest in watching something grow
- Desire to influence and nurture a person
- Keep me learning!
- Keep me young
- Collaborate with my wife on important decisions
- Invest time/energy/money/creativity to help make the world better
- Desire to pass on our values for them to do with what they wish
- Our financial situation wouldn't be a hindrance to a healthy and safe upbringing

For us, it was a natural and mutual drive.

Not judging or anything, but I have to question the wisdom when I hear people saying they made up their mind at an early age to not have kids, because that sounds to me like someone prematurely closing out options before reaching a level of maturity at which an adult-level decision should be made. Some will say they were mature for a 8 year old, but I'm not entirely sure.

Then again, if one gets anxiety or palpitations or a bad case of hives in the presence of an infant, then it is probably best to either avoid them all together, and optionally try to figure out what's going on inside your head in order to cope should a baby-oriented situation occur.