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My husband wants to have a second child. Only problem is he works part time and I pay all the bills with my full time income (he pays half of childcare costs for current child and half of mortgage payment). We also have several other debts, including a vacation planned for later this year. There is no money in savings. We can't afford daycare for a second child nor hospital bills that would come with having a second child. Any thoughts on this would be helpful. I am trying to get him to understand it doesn't make sense to add more stress by adding another kid (stress would include added financial stress in addition to emotional stress).
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Whether it's for emotional reasons, financial reasons, or completely irrational reasons, when a couple is deciding whether or not to have a child, the "no" vote always wins. -
~ EagleComment
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I'm pretty much convinced, at this point in my life, that only stupid people are breeding.Originally posted by Elizabeth1I will say the oposite of the above comments. There will always be unpaid bills and you will never, EVER have enough money. You think you will, but you won't because we always want more. As long as you are ready to love both of your children, I'd say go for it. Afterall, kids are the biggest happiness outthere. Besides, the 1st child will help or they will at leat play together
The rest of the people that try to plan, save money, have some foresight, and those who raise kids not for reasons of finding personal happiness, but as stewards of a future generation, are not having enough kids.
If you can't afford to take care of yourselves, let alone another kid, and if you won't be able to afford to feed/clothe/educate and stick together as parents, then, from the bottom of my heart, please don't do it.
There, I said it. I have no doubt that my vitriolic opinion will be unpopular, but it's the truth.History will judge the complicit.Comment
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Ever watched "Idiocracy"?Originally posted by ua_guy View Post
"As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species."
"Joe and Rita had three children, the three smartest kids in the world. Vice President Frito took 8 wives and had a total of 32 kids. Thirty-two of the dumbest kids ever to walk the Earth."Comment
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At least get a handle on debt (no debt but mortgage, maybe a car or two) before even beginning the planning process for having a second kid. We have two and we are done... money issues can really ruin an otherwise happy family.
As far as I am concerned, if you are smart enough to have your finances in order before having a second kid, youre probably not contributing to the dumbing down of the gene pool... heck even your use of discretion removes you from that category.Last edited by Spiffster; 03-25-2015, 08:09 AM.Comment
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Well said. I agree 100%.Originally posted by ua_guy View PostSteve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.Comment
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ua_guy
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OP you said your husband:
a) wants a 2nd child
b) works part time
Is he willng & able to work full time? If his answer is yes then I would agree to revisit the added child plan AFTER he has been employed FT for at least 6 months.Comment
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Welp this thread was started 2 days ago and we have yet to hear back from OP.
Its probably safe to say most users can stop replying unless you like talking to yourself.
Whats the deal with 1 posters starting a thread and leaving? That should be a topic of conversation.Comment
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First, 2 days is not that long. Not everyone frequents the boards as often as some of us regulars.Originally posted by rennigade View Post
Second, just because someone hasn't responded doesn't mean they aren't reading everyone's comments.
I think it's perfectly reasonable for people to lend their opinions if they feel so inclined.Steve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.Comment
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I would definitely take care of the debt first before even thinking about another child, especially if you have a vacation coming up next year...Would be absolutely hectic!!Comment
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Would you like to have a second kid if not for your concerns about debt and money in general? If so, perhaps the answer here is to get your husband to agree to work towards improving your situation so that you guys can get to the point where you can afford a second kid. Could you make it work if your husband quit working completely and took care of all the child care? Could you make it work if your husband started working full time and increased your child card costs? Could you make it work if you said no vacations and no new debt till we clean up the debt we have?
The jump from one kid to two kids, really shouldn't be all that expensive. It sounds to me like you're having trouble funding your current lifestyle and the one kid you currently have. Of course you don't want to make things more stressful by adding a second kid! But, maybe you should try to make things less stressful with or without plans for more kids.Comment
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If hubby wants another child, hubby needs to man up financially and put in whatever work is required to adequately support the family.Comment
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OP you said your husband:
a) wants a 2nd child
b) works part timeComment
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