I need advice on how to use my money for a cheap place to live

[GaiaGoddess]

Here's a few definitions I found using Google.

Troll
1.make a deliberately offensive or provocative online posting with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
2.a person who makes a deliberately offensive or provocative online posting.

I think it's clear my post was not offensive or provocative, and how could I predict if anyone was going to get upset or angry?

Flame War
1. an argument between Internet users who repeatedly provoke each other with personal attacks through e-mail and other forms of online communication.

If an argument takes 2 internet users, then how could you blame me for starting a flame war, all i'm doing is asking for advice and answering questions, and now i'm defending myself against insults and rididuling. If anything, some people in here are trying to make this into an argument. I would be done here now if I didn't have more replies.

[Gailete]

Actually I was going to fill them up here at work, we have all the same spices & other too! One of the best perks about working in a kitchen!

You are going to fill your spice containers with the spices from work? Is that what you are saying? Have you received work's permission or are you just stealing them? Just because you work in a kitchen doesn't ever mean you can take supplies out for your own use. Don't get upset about this question(s) as you are implying that is what you are planning to do in your own comment. And if you haven't received persission to fill up personal spice jars from work's supplies then it is stealing even if you only take an ounce of salt.

[GaiaGoddess]

I believed you were a real person. What I was wondering, as I stated, was whether asking for advice and then shooting down every suggestion with no willingness to make any compromises was a pattern of behavior. Apparently, it is.

If you're referring to the RV forum, I DID take their advice and I didn't buy an RV to tow with my Escape, like I planned to. But after some of the people in there told me I shouldn't do it, I listened to them. Why are you focusing on the negative? I asked them for advice, and in the end i took it, even though a lot of the people in that forum said I should go ahead and give it a try.

The contradiction is that you said it wasn't your fault that you had to pay off your car, and that's why you didn't save more money. First of all, it *is* your fault, because you bought the car and agreed to the loan. Secondly, you didn't *have to* pay off the entire $14,000 at once, you *wanted to* do that. You could have kept making your regular payment and still have the $14,000 in the bank. Saying you "had to" pay off the car implies that the lender demanded payment in full, not that you decided you didn't want a car payment anymore so used your "buy my own home" savings to pay off the car.

Of course the lender didn't demand payment, but I wanted to keep my car, I knew I was going to keep it, not sell it before it was paid off, not sell it after it was paid off, so why not pay it off sooner to save on interest? I'm surprised you being from a money saving forum wouldn't think that's a good idea. I paid it off a few years early, look at all the interest I saved! and also, since I paid it off early, I had $300 more a month that I didn't have before.

Yes you did.

No I never said I wouldn't pay for it, I said I didn't believe there was free therapy, after someone else said that some were free.

I'm kind of shocked you've spent at least 5-6 years researching things on the Internet and have never bothered to look up the term (especially since it was used to describe you back last November on the other forum), but here:

I didn't bother to look it up because I knew I wasn't a troll! I knew they were assuming, like you guys were, so I figured I shouldn't have to prove myself right, I know i'm right. I only asked now because it was made into a bigger deal here.

Because you're asking for advice you don't want and won't take. You're completely unwilling to compromise on any aspect of your life, whenever someone suggests such a thing you argue with them, and yet you expect others to feel sorry for you because of your disorder and your social anxiety and your long hours and your horrible mother. People who are truly seeking advice *want* to change, they want their lives to be different and they're willing to do what it takes to make that happen. You seem to just want conversation, and arguing about why nothing anyone suggests will work for you is, as you've found in the past, a good way to make that happen. If not, why didn't you abandon this thread the first time someone told you that if you weren't willing to change, nothing anyone could suggest would help? In eight pages, not one person has disagreed with that statement (except you, of course).

I never said I am unwilling to change, but nobody gave me any ideas I didn't think of already... but regardless, I know I can get what I want if I wait until I have enough money. That IS the sacrifice I am making, I am working long hard hours and still having to deal with my mom all so that I can have a place of my own in the future.

There's 95% of your problem right there. You want to buy a house, live on your own, be able to survive on low-wage jobs, but you have no idea where your money even goes. You've got at least $300 per month unaccounted for (and I would argue that, since the $600 camera was a one-time expense, it's really more like $500 per month),

I know where my money is going as I spend it, I just can't look it up online because it only goes back 3 months and who has a memory that good to remember every single transaction from over 4 months ago? I know I am not spending my money on things I don't need or things that aren't for my benefit in some way. I buy a lot of books and that is probably where your "missing" money went, but I can't remember every single book and how much each one cost, how can you expect me to remember all that? I just know it was money well spent because if i'm learning, it's worth it. Just because i'm saving up for a place to live doesn't mean I won't enjoy my life NOW. I might get killed before I can even buy a house, at least I can say I enjoyed my life as much as I could and didn't suffer every minute with nothing just because I had to save every penny for a house.

and while you say you've saved $12,000 in a year, you had $11,000 saved back in April, so you're not really even saving $1,000 a month. In the past four months, based on what you've posted and the $1,000 you've saved since April, there's more than $4,200 missing from the equation.

Ok...yes I did have $11,000 in April but $4000 of that I borrowed to a friend so he could put a down payment on a house. The reason I did that was because at the time I was going to be renting out a room in his house once he bought it. So I thought if I don't borrow him this money, I won't be able to live there either. But once he moved in, he realized it was too small for 3 people (he already had another roommate that he lived with before who was moving in too). I was ok with it though since I realized I didn't want to live there anyway, after seeing the house. It is super tiny, and I realized I'd rather have a mobile home then i'd have more room to myself. This was only a few months ago when I decided this, I literally went from thinking I was going to buy a travel trailer to thinking I was going to rent from my friend's house to realizing a mobile home is the best idea, all in the course of a few months time.

Anyway, to further explain this (since you so badly want to know where that money went), my friend recently was able to pay me back and he gave me the money in cash. I was leaving for work that same day and didn't have time to deposit it, so I kept it in the envelope. I wasn't counting that in my savings because I was just going by my bank statement. Actually just now when I checked my statement i'm at $13,200 right now plus I have $4000 in that envelope. So technically right now I have $17,000 but I wasn't counting the cash because it isn't in my bank account. I planned on just using the cash instead of going to an ATM and use it up slowly as I need it, that's why I wasn't counting it towards my mobile home fund.

I don't know. Why do you? You aren't willing to make any changes that will allow you to own your own home, so why are you wasting everyone's time pretending like you really want it? People who really want things do what they have to do to get those things, they don't just sit around waiting for things to fall into their laps.

I DO want to buy a house! I am not pretending! omg why would I go through all this about something I dont even want. That makes no sense. Every single day I check 3 different websites for new mobile homes for sale. At this point I don't even care if anyone believes me or not, I know the truth.

Even your newest excuse about why you haven't bought a mobile home shows how unwilling you are to do anything to change your situation. You weren't home when they were for sale? So what? Call the person up. Have a friend go look at it on your behalf. People buy and sell houses (and whatever else) by phone or email all the time these days -- I've done it myself. Living several states away isn't even part of the equation anymore.

I did talk to someone who had one for sale when i was at work last time. I wanted it so bad that I told my best friend about it and asked if he could go check it out for me. He said he would as long as it could be the very next day because he was going camping for the weekend. So I asked the lady if he could come see it the next day and she said she couldn't make it because she wasn't even going to be back at the trailer until the weekend (I'm not sure if she had already moved out or what), but since my friend was camping and couldn't make it in time, it got sold to someone who was there. I almost bought one when I was home 2 weeks ago but my friend said it had water damage in the floor and the roof, I saw the stain on the ceiling but wasn't concerned because I thought it would be ok if I just fixed the roof. But then he said when he felt the floor in the bathroom it was worse than he thought so he told me I'd pretty much be fixing the entire thing, floor too and maybe even the walls. I couldn't deal with that so I passed on it.

You know, where I live, there's almost constant road construction (when the roads aren't snow-covered, that is). For a while there whenever a project started, they'd put up signs that said "This short-term delay will provide long-term relief". That's how anyone who truly wants to improve their situation needs to look at things -- a short-term sacrifice that will allow them to reach their dreams (and often go beyond) in the long term. But if you're not willing to make that sacrifice -- if you don't take care of the potholes and cracks in the road, and just wait for things to get better on their own, guess what? Not only will your situation not improve, but odds are it will get even worse. The potholes will get bigger, the road will start to crumble, and eventually the infrastructure itself will fall apart. Then you're truly stuck, and not only can you not get to your dream destination, you can't get *anywhere*. f

I agree, short term delay will provide long term relief, and that's what i'm doing. I'm suffering now temporarily so I can have what I want in the future. So yeah i'm already doing this.

[GaiaGoddess]

No I haven't. I don't spend that kind of money in total in YEARS for those types of things! I use 99 cent shampoo, no conditioner, or any of the rest of the crap you think you need to use. As I have mentioned, I am POOR. I found a great sale on Suave shampoo years ago for 50 cents a bottle and bought 20 ($10 during a time I was earning $30K/year in the mid-ninety’s). I finally used the last one maybe 5-6 years ago and then found it again on sale for $1 a bottle. And I got three free bottles to review over the course of a year. Even though hubby didn't like the 'men's' shampoo he used it because it was free. Toothpaste I get at CVS along with other products that I buy on sale and many times I then get Bonus Bucks which can be used as real money. I did two surveys for CVS on line a couple of weeks ago and another one this week so in less than a month, I earned $32 in bonus bucks which helps me purchase the few toiletries we need. I think I mentioned WE are POOR. I look for sales and bargains and try to be a good steward of the money that comes my way. As to being charitable yes I am, but my money goes to real honest to goodness charities. Certainly though, not on the order of your spending as I don't have the money to spend even if I wanted to. Gifts for my boys and DIL many times are bought off of reward points from credit card use, CVS Bonus bucks, or I make them gifts. Most wedding gifts I make for the couple and thankfully we don't have many of those occasions anymore. Especially now that most couples think it is perfectly acceptable to send out thank you notes 6 or more months after the fact so I'm not that sure most appreciate anything other than money which I don't/can’t give! I'm very glad that we don't have a lot of people to be gifting frequently, because we can't afford to, it is as simple as that. I struggle to find money for the groceries and the medications we take. I simply refuse to spend money for a gift when I don't even have the money for a gallon of milk!

Up to the point that you listed your 'expenses' I was under the impression you were trying your hardest to find a way to get yourself into your own home as quickly as possible and was aligning your spending that way. Now I see you aren't and then again try to justify your expenses. I could care less what you are spending and what you spend it on, but from MY perspective, you are wasting money as fast as you make it and then trying to have a good reason for it. You need to decide what your #1 goal is. If it is getting into your own home, then you can't spend in the way you have been. Oh and by the way, I also don't have a cell phone so I can't take pictures on one. I too love books and have read somewhere in the neighborhood of 30,000 of them over my lifetime, and I have several hundred here at home, but if they were in the way of my achieving a dream to get away a terrible situation (which is what you imply living with your mother is like) then, if needed, I would burn them all. And before you say anything, I do want to say that most were gifts or purchased cheap at yard and library sales, or some related to my business so were a tax deductible expense. I love my books as well. But you seem to love your car, your books, your camera, etc. and they all get in the way of your STATED goal of getting a home of your own as soon as possible.

Yes this is a financial advice forum, so when you state your goal of what you want or need that is what we focus on. So when someone states their goal is one thing and then they show all the ways they are spending money frivolously or having reasons for why NOTHING would work for you, we call them on it. Many times they have just been blind to the leaks. You seem to be blind to the leaks that are keeping you from achieving your goal and at the same time don't want to make any changes when the leaks are pointed out and have a million excuses for why you can't get along without these things. I was not ridiculing you. I'm just stating facts. You say you want one thing and then go off on entirely different paths that take away from that dream. Like I said I don't care how you spend your money (and no reason to judge me for how I spend my money since you have NO clue how I do, other than what I have mentioned, and I wasn't the one asking for advice), but if you come here and ask for advice and then are shown why you aren't achieving that goal and what you need to cut back on and be aware of your spending habits, but you want to spend how you want to and rather than save money for your goal and dream, then there are no answers for you. Previously I did give you advice from someone that knows what it takes to make those ends meet when needed to reach a goal (me) and you just spit on them more or less as well as every bit of advice everyone here has given. You may say you are serious, but I don't think you are and at this point, I don't think many others think you are serious either.

I am all for getting free and/or cheap books, toiletries, etc. and I do when I can. I used to work at a thrift store and I got a discount on everything so I stocked up on books & clothes while I was there, now I have no need to buy clothes for the rest of my life.

But the one area where we differ is, I just believe that living in the now is just as important as living for the future that may never come. If I have the money to buy things I want now AND to save for my future, that's the best of both worlds. The things I spend money on are mostly for my future anyway, especially the camera. And all the books I buy (and have gotten for free) are educational, they're all non-fiction/self help/personal development. They're all to better myself. So therefore to me it's not money spent frivolously. I don't spend money on cigarettes or nicotine or drugs, I only spend it on bills, food, & things that will help me better myself or maybe earn money someday, or to just enjoy life TODAY.

[GaiaGoddess]

I have an iPhone and use a car phone charger that plugs into my car cigarette lighter. A car phone charger goes for $10-25 depending on the phone. There is no reason for you to have 2 phones.

Well having 2 has definately came in handy many times, and i'm almost hesitant to get rid of the 2nd one. I know there's been at least 10 times where I would have been screwed without the 2nd one.

Question: Have you considered instead getting insurance on your cell phone? You can get insurance for $8 a month on your phone with Verizon according to a co-worker. I believe that includes lost, stolen, or broken coverage. Might want to double check.

I do have insurance already. The reason I had to buy the 2nd phone wasn't because they wouldn't fix my phone, it was because in order to fix it, I would have had to mail it out and wait for them to mail it back. But since I was leaving the next day back to work, I couldn't wait around for it, I needed it right then and there. I won't drive 800 miles through the middle of nowhere without a cellphone, not in the middle of winter especially.

I'm not sure if you've understood this yet but we're trying to help you do two things: increase your income and decrease your expenses.

The way I see it, i'm doing both of those things. My income hasn't increased yet, of course, but i'm working on a few plans for that. As for decreasing my expenses, I already did that. I lowered my data plan to 1G instead of 2G (even though that's only like $20 difference). I paid my car off early so save all that interest. I want to grow my own food which will save a lot too (once I get to having my own place). I am making my own beauty products to save money on that stuff.

Just like I'm not sure a 36 page discussion about an RV and another 36 page thread about a Ford Escape has bebefuak benificial either. Did you learn anything from those discussions?

The only reason that went on for so long was because half the people were saying not to do it and the other half was saying to do it. So they were even "arguing" amongst each other because they didn't agree on if i could do it or not. In the end I decided to listen to the ones saying not to do it, because while it might be POSSIBLE, that doesn't mean it's SAFE. and I would rather not have an expensive mistake in the form of an accident or possibly injuring someone else. That's why I started looking for other options (renting, mobile home).

If you are unwilling to try new things to increase your income and also unwilling to cut your expenses I see no reason to continue this discussion. Would you agree?

I agree we should end this discussion, yes, because even while we discuss this, I am earning money the whole time, so i will eventually have enough to buy a mobile home. I just know now that that is all that I can do.

[GaiaGoddess]

Does anyone else feel sorry for the mother in this scenario?

Why do you feel sorry for her?

[GaiaGoddess]

Because you've rejected every single idea and suggestion as impossible. If you aren't willing to make any changes whatsoever, then you will just have to be happy with how your life is now. Good luck.

When I asked for advice, I couldn't possibly predict what the replies were going to be. I thought maybe there's a chance somebody in here knows about something I don't, but I found out there are no other options other than to just save up the money and wait until I have enough.

[bjl584]

thank you! Yes, it was my break, until last night at 7pm.

Shouldn't you be working?.......

[GaiaGoddess]

So many things about this confuse me. Why didn't you just buy a new phone to go on your existing service? Why on earth would you sign up for another contract? If I break my phone I don't have to get a new 2 year contract, I just need to buy a new phone and have them activate it. (also a good reason to keep an older phone for this sort of emergency. They can just activate that one until you find your phone or decide to buy a new one.)

You just DON'T TRY VERY HARD to come up with economical solutions to your problems. No one in their right mind pays for two phone contracts because their battery dies. You buy an $15 emergency cell phone battery. You don't pay $1,000 a year because your battery runs out.

You aren't trying, no matter what you tell yourself. You're lying to yourself and it's not going to get you anywhere.

This is just one example.

(Now please tell me why/how I'm wrong and you're right. I'd love to hear the "reason" for the two cell phones!)

Ugh you're already assuming things. Let me clarify. The 2nd phone is a 2nd line, it's all under the same contract, but it's a different phone number, therefore it added like $40 to my total bill. I already explained in another post how they didn't force me to buy a new phone, I had to because I was leaving for work and had to have a phone and I couldn't sit home another few weeks waiting for them to mail me my phone back. Also...it wasn't a dead battery, the problem was the phone froze, it wouldn't turn on. The idiot working there didn't even know how to fix it, and I ended up fixing it myself a few days later after looking it up online what to do when your phone freezes. So I fixed it myself where the guy working at Verizon had apparently never seen this happen before, even though tons of people had it happen so that's how I found out how to fix it (you hold down 2 keys at the same time until it resets itself). So there I was with 2 phones. I figured well $40 more a month isn't that bad, and then I found that it did come in handy. Many times while I was out and about not in my own car, one would die and the other was all charged up and ready to use. Also a few times I would lose one or somebody took it (long story...irritating coworkers that I can't stand).

[GaiaGoddess]

But there were just so many other options. You can buy a cheap used smartphone on eBay or Craigslist. You can keep an old phone (like I do).

It's just that - like EVERYTHING ELSE the OP does - she took the easiest route, not the best one. Signing up for a new 2 year contract to the tune of over $2,000 rather than shell out $100 or less for a replacement phone?

That's not the action of a person who is ever going to be able to improve her life or own a house.

This whole thread is ridiculous. Suggesting things to the OP is like talking to the wall.

I took the QUICKEST route, because I had to leave to head back to work and didn't have time to deal with the issue, I needed a phone right then and there. I had people to call, I couldn't wait even another day, and I had to get packed for heading back to ND so I couldn't deal with it any other way than to get another phone immediately. I wish you guys would have let me explain it first rather than assuming what I did and why I did it. Yes normally I would have had time to do something cheaper but I needed a phone immediately and I was already in the store. I originally just brought it in there to ask them to unfreeze it, but the idiot didn't know what was wrong and he tried hooking it up to his computer and nothing happened. I didn't walk in there planning on buying a new phone, I thought they could fix it right there but they couldn't. So I had to make a spur of the moment decision and I couldn't leave without a phone that worked so I did the only thing I could have done.

[GaiaGoddess]

You are going to fill your spice containers with the spices from work? Is that what you are saying? Have you received work's permission or are you just stealing them? Just because you work in a kitchen doesn't ever mean you can take supplies out for your own use. Don't get upset about this question(s) as you are implying that is what you are planning to do in your own comment. And if you haven't received persission to fill up personal spice jars from work's supplies then it is stealing even if you only take an ounce of salt.

It isn't stealing, everyone who works here gets free food and a free room, it's part of the job. We can eat whatever we want, whenever we want. We can even eat on days we aren't working. We can stock up our to-go boxes, coolers, bags, whatever, when we go home on our breaks. One guy had a HUGE cooler jam packed so full he could hardly get the lid on, he stocked it up for his trip home that was going to take a few days of driving. It isn't stealing, it's all free for us.

[GaiaGoddess]

Shouldn't you be working?.......

I work 7pm-7am, right now it's a little after 9 am. I should be SLEEPING, really. Stop replying, everyone, lol This issue is resolved!

[bjl584]

I work 7pm-7am, right now it's a little after 9 am. I should be SLEEPING, really. Stop replying, everyone, lol This issue is resolved!

This issue is not resolved. But, we're all going to stop relying as you request. Thread closed.