I need advice on how to use my money for a cheap place to live

[doingitallwrong]

I'm thinking OP is a troll.

I think you may be right. I don't normally 'forum stalk' people, but this has been so frustrating, and out of curiosity at mentions of other threads, I did go looking to see if this was a pattern of behavior. I found a discussion on an RV forum (where the "dream" for last 5-6 years was to live full-time in a travel trailer) that went on for 36 pages of the same kind of 'stuff'. Along with a decision to buy a particular RV in April, then a change of plans and the desire to get a smaller travel trailer in July. (That was a second thread of the same old-same old that went on for 8 pages.) What was interesting was that a comment made here:

And it isn't my fault I had to pay my car off last year which is why now I only have $12,000...

Directly contradicts the statement made there, in September 2013:

I want to be done with making car payments, it will be paid off as soon as I get on the loan site and click the button, all done, i'm debt free.

I see no "had to" there, do you?

So, yeah, it's hard to believe anything in this thread at this point. Maybe no exactly a "troll", since there's nothing here to really incite a flame war, but certainly it seems to be attention-seeking behavior.

If it's not, if the OP is truly interested in owning her own home, then to quote another post on that old thread, which still applies today:

It's very easy to cling to what you want to hear. But wanting something to turn out well doesn't mean it will.

[Gailete]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
From the website Gailete found:

GaiaGodess: "I can't believe how many of you are making a big deal of extra 20 pounds! It isn't like she is obese. I have ALWAYS been between 110 and 120 pounds and I still can't attract a relationship and i'm 41!"
Where did you find that from? and what is your point in posting it in here?

I have no idea what you are talking about here. As far as I know I only posted links to Social Security Official websites.

~~~~~~~~~~

I had a post ready to go, started to talk to hubby and lost it However after reading OP's list of 'expenses' was shocking to someone like me who literally limps along and financially limps as well since my work years were slashed due to a severe chronic illness. $600 for a camera? Get out of town! $200+ for ingredients to make shampoo, etc.? Surely you jest. Presents for birthday's, weddings, and fundraisers for others and then $200 off to a co-worker. Cell phone expenses of over $100 a month. She spent more in spices in one day than I have spent in my entire adult life of cooking (37 years) and I was was pretty much always cooking for a family not just myself. In those few short lists, I could see over $1000 worth of money being frivolously spent, for someone who's stated goal in life is a home of their own. No wonder she has nothing if this is how she spends money. Any empathy for this woman that I may have had I have lost at this point.

Much like hamchan's husband I try not to look at the roadblocks, but instead search for the detours. Her lifestyle seems to be spend for her wants like crazy and then when she runs out of money complain because she can't have all her wants. Well guess what? None of us gets everything we want and some of us are just grateful that our needs are supplied and that some days we run into some spectacular deals like I did the other day. I downloaded between 20-30 free full length books onto my Kindle and when I have read all of them, I will go back and download some more. I love to read, but as it gets harder to get out, I'm not getting to the library like I used to, instead the books come to me FREE I'm happy that I was able to start a business on line that has helped provide food and pay bills and when things are tight like they are this month, I count each sale and think of what bill it will pay or partially pay. My brain can't even comprehend paying $600 for a camera. When the camera that hubby used for his business broke, even though it was a complete business expense, we found the cheapest camera we could find that would do the job, about $130. $600 for a camera when it isn't even a business expense because maybe she will start a business taking photographs? Ridiculous! Wonder what that $600 put into a retirement account would equal in 20 years and by then the camera will be long dead or out of date. Or even put into her house fund, then she would have had $12,600.

[Gailete]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eagle View Post
From the website Gailete found:

GaiaGodess: "I can't believe how many of you are making a big deal of extra 20 pounds! It isn't like she is obese. I have ALWAYS been between 110 and 120 pounds and I still can't attract a relationship and i'm 41!"
Where did you find that from? and what is your point in posting it in here?

I have no idea what you are talking about here. As far as I know I only posted links to Social Security Official websites.

~~~~~~~~~~

I had a post ready to go, started to talk to hubby and lost it However after reading OP's list of 'expenses' was shocking to someone like me who literally limps along and financially limps as well since my work years were slashed due to a severe chronic illness. $600 for a camera? Get out of town! $200+ for ingredients to make shampoo, etc.? Surely you jest. Presents for birthday's, weddings, and fundraisers for others and then $200 off to a co-worker. Cell phone expenses of over $100 a month. She spent more in spices in one day than I have spent in my entire adult life of cooking (37 years) and I was was pretty much always cooking for a family not just myself. In those few short lists, I could see over $1000 worth of money being frivolously spent, for someone who's stated goal in life is a home of their own. No wonder she has nothing if this is how she spends money. Any empathy for this woman that I may have had I have lost at this point.

Much like hamchan's husband I try not to look at the roadblocks, but instead search for the detours. Her lifestyle seems to be spend for her wants like crazy and then when she runs out of money complain because she can't have all her wants. Well guess what? None of us gets everything we want and some of us are just grateful that our needs are supplied and that some days we run into some spectacular deals like I did the other day. I downloaded between 20-30 FREE full length books onto my Kindle and when I have read all of them, I will go back and download some more. I love to read, but as it gets harder to get out, I'm not getting to the library like I used to, instead the books come to me FREE I'm happy that I was able to start a business on line that has helped provide food and pay bills and when things are tight like they are this month, I count each sale and think of what bill it will pay or partially pay. My brain can't even comprehend paying $600 for a camera. When the camera that hubby used for his business broke, even though it was a complete business expense, we found the cheapest camera we could find that would do the job, about $130. $600 for a camera when it isn't even a business expense because maybe she will start a business taking photographs? Ridiculous! Wonder what that $600 put into a retirement account would equal in 20 years and by then the camera will be long dead or out of date. Or even put into her house fund, then she would have had $12,600.

[GaiaGoddess]

Thanks for the info. Yes, it does seem like if you base it on two months you are off work and a full month you are at work it average out to $1100.

However, if you were to get the month prior to $1629 you'd probably be spending $300-400. Meaning if you were to take the average of the 4 month period it would come out to be

$1433 + $309 + $1629 + 400 = $3771

$3771 / 4 = $942.75 a month

In that 4 month period you spent $3771 and made roughly $4500 * 2 = $9000. So my point remains that you should be able to save a lot more than $1k a month.

It seems that way, but I dont know how it works out like this, I mean maybe this last year I spent more than normal on one time things, who knows (the statement only goes back 3 months), all I know is i've saved $12,000 in a year and I dont know why this year would be any different so i'm going to estimate next year at this time i'll have $24,000 saved up, which is plenty for a decent mobile home. I guess i'll just have to wait through the winter and keep working here at least until spring.

[GaiaGoddess]

There are reasons and there are excuses. What you have are a couple of reasons and a boatload of excuses. Other words you should look into the definitions of are "compromise," "sacrifice," and "reality."

I think living with my mom is a compromise & sacrifice, if you knew how depressed it makes me, it's a miracle i'm still around after sacrificing my 2 of my biggest values in life for as long as i have. (privacy and independence). And reality? Reality is what you make it. People don't achieve their dreams by letting reality drag them down.

I had a shorter list of requirements when we bought our last house than you do - and our budget was 36 times yours.

My requirements aren't even that long. I want my mobile home to have trees, a driveway, and not be further than half an hour from where I currently live. I have actually found a lot of them I want, every few days there's another one. But i'm missing out on all of them because i'm 800 miles away. I did go see one when I was home but the friend I took with me inspected it and said it had water damage so I passed on that one.

You CAN NOT have everything that you want. You want to stay in a certain place. You want to have your books with you. You want some luxury. You want space. You want this. You want that. YOU CAN'T GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT WITHOUT AN EDUCATION AND ON A MINIMUM WAGE JOB WITH THE HOURS THAT YOU HAVE. So stop sitting there wanting all these things and maybe focus on getting up and actually getting something that is in the realm of possibility.

Well it's a good thing I don't let people's words stop me from trying to achieve my dream.

Visit the library. ("But I want my own books near me and available at all times." Wah.) Buy a Kindle/Nook/eReader. ("But I like physical books, to look at the photos, they don't have all the books I want, etc etc etc." Boo hoo hoo.) This is what I expect your "reasons" will be for needing your books near you.

I do visit the library, I was just there a week ago. I do have a kindle app on my phone and my laptop but I also have about 200 books and I'm not going to go and buy them all over again on the kindle just so I don't have to carry them around with me. It's also something you wouldn't appreciate or understand unless you were as avid of a book reader as I am.

Saying that the reason you can't live in a small space is because you have a ton of books that you want at an arm's reach IS AN EXCUSE.

I didn't say that was the only reason, it's just one of them. My whole life i've dreamed of having my own book room. I also want a normal bathroom, I don't want to hide behind a curtain when i have friends over, well actually I couldn't even do that if I lived in a van!

You can't just say "I don't like that, I won't do that" to everything. You've been doing that so far and how's that working out for you? Not so great, huh?

Because of circumstances it hasn't worked out yet, but if those circumstances were different, it would be working out. I would be in a specific trailer right now if I had been home when it was on the market, it sold in 5 days but it was the perfect place for me and i'd be in it right now if I would have been home at the time. There are 2 others right now that if I were home I'd probably buy one of them. You can't just blame someone for why they're in a certain situation, it's just the way it turned out, but it could have easily turned out differently.

This thread is 7 pages of people giving you excellent ideas and you saying, "I've thought of that and here are all the reasons that I can't do it."

Well except for the suggestions I hadn't thought of or the people that were able to provide me with links and information I didn't know about. But you're only focusing on the negative.

Okay. So go out and make some of that easy money. What's the delay?

Well for one, I work 84 hours a week. I got off work half an hour ago, I ate, started replying on here, and after this I'm going to read a little of this book on how to become rich working 4 hours a week. But I only have an hour then I have to get to bed. It's hard to do extra things when you work so much, i'm working my life away and I want that to change so I have to figure out how to do that. Writing is a very time consuming hobby and if it isn't earning me a full time living or helping me learn how to make more money, then it gets cut out of my schedule because lots of things have to get cut.

EXCUSES! You can't run a snow blower and toss out rock salt? You can't weed? Seriously?

Well if it was that easy why do they only hire men to do it?

[Eagle]

From the website Gailete found:

GaiaGodess: "I can't believe how many of you are making a big deal of extra 20 pounds! It isn't like she is obese. I have ALWAYS been between 110 and 120 pounds and I still can't attract a relationship and i'm 41!"

I have no idea what you are talking about here. As far as I know I only posted links to Social Security Official websites.

Sorry the poster was Cardtrick post #79. My mistake.

[GaiaGoddess]

You're clearly talking to the wrong people. Some sites are very poorly paid, certainly, others not so much. One site for which I write pays $15-25 for a 250-450 word article, which should take at most an hour to write. If you write well for that site, you can get (as I have) assignments that pay $200 per article, for 500-750 words, which take about two hours because you need to quote a professional in that field (you can do the 'interview' via email). Another site for which I write pays per page view, so it really depends on the popularity of your subject, but even the niche topic for which I write generates around $10/month in income, and I haven't written anything there in several months. (The person who was writing about "Twilight" made thousands of dollars a month for the several years that the books and movies all the buzz. Those topics are harder to get, of course!) Articles on that site are 150-250 words, so should take maybe 1/2 an hour. (I've gotten some $15 articles from that gig as well, which are local interest "top five" topics and take maybe an hour and a half, which includes research.)

I talked to people just like you, people who used sites to make money for writing. If you know of the ones that pay better, would you mind telling me which ones they are?

OK, but you do understand all of these suggestions are TEMPORARY, right? Something to get you out of your current situation, which you say is untenable, while you work toward your perfect situation, if such a thing exists? It seems almost any option is better than what you have now, from what you've said. You like your job but don't know how long it will last. You hate ND. You hate staying with your mom when you're off work. Why not go for something that has more pros than your current situation and get yourself in a better mental state (by not dreading your two weeks off work)?

I understand they would be temporary, yes...but i have weighed the pros and cons of each scenario and this is still the lesser of all the evils. Renting would prevent me from saving money, or at least from saving it quickly. If I can make it here another year I could get any decent mobile home I wanted, possibly sooner if the right one is on sale during the short time i'm home.

Or, why not stay with friends or other family during the two weeks instead of with your mom? If you're willing to stay in an area you don't like and can't afford to be near them, the least they could do is let you crash with them for two weeks every other month.

Or stay at an inexpensive motel that offers weekly rates? Of course that would be more than you're currently spending on hotels, but as Eagle points out, you've got a lot of unaccounted-for income.

Like i've said before, my friends are either renting themselves or they have no more room in their houses for another person. I also need to go home because that's where all my stuff is. I can't keep a lot of clothes here so every time I go home I switch them with different ones, the weather is always changing so every time I go on break I need to bring back clothes for different seasons. I also stock up on toiletries and all that stuff so I have enough for the 6 weeks. A lot of that stuff is at my mom's. So either way I would have to go there. And that's also the only way I can see my nephews. I never said I wanted to completely avoid that area and everyone there, i'm totally fine as long as I have my own place. So once i have my own place again, there will be no issue.

So buy one and have a friend tow it to your own plot of land. At the prices I'm seeing you wouldn't even need to sell your car, $12,000 could get you land and a travel trailer.

I could do that, yeah, I just haven't seen any decent land that cheap. Also remember to have a mobile home moved to a new site it will cost around $3000. And I also would need extra money just to live on, I can't spend every single dollar on land and a home and have no money to buy food or gas or pay for utilities. Even if I found a decent cheap trailer for lets say $9000 (I use that number because that's the lowest i've seen them without water damage), and lets say I can find good land for $7000, then add in $3000 for moving the trailer, i'm already at $19,000, and i'd need a few thousand more just so I'm not completely broke...yes I could technically do this but not until spring, or at least January/February at the earliest.

[Eagle]

{Referring to GaiaGodess's actual expenses on post #119.}

A. $600 for a camera? Get out of town!

B. $200+ for ingredients to make shampoo, etc.? Surely you jest.

C. Presents for birthday's, weddings, and fundraisers for others and then $200 off to a co-worker.

D. Cell phone expenses of over $100 a month.

E. She spent more in spices in one day than I have spent in my entire adult life of cooking (37 years) and I was pretty much always cooking for a family not just myself. In those few short lists, I could see over $1000 worth of money being frivolously spent, for someone who's stated goal in life is a home of their own.

No wonder she has nothing if this is how she spends money.

@GaiaGodess

A. I do agree with Gailete $600 for a hobby seems like a lot of money. Hobby’s don’t typically make money. You have to have time to build a good clientele, start a website, and take lots of pictures for free to build a portfolio. You work 84 hours a week for 6 weeks in a row. Probably should’ve waiting on purchasing this item.

B. How long will the shampoo last?

C. $20 (Walmart Gift Card), $50 (GoFundMe Fundraiser), $30 (Brother’s Birthday Card & Present), + $200 (Moneygram to co-worker) = $300 in gifts. You seriously can’t afford these kind of gifts if you know your job may not last long.

D. You spent in the 3 months listed #123, $123, and $108 respectively on your cell phone. You should easily be able to have a cell phone plan for half of that. Who do you use?

E. How long with the spices last?

I agree with Gailete there’s over $1000 worth of expenses that seem unnecessary.

Do you see just in these 3 months how you could have saved more money? You need to learn delayed gratification if you want to get serious about saving for a home. Delayed gratification means the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward (Camera for example) and wait for a later reward (Home for example).

[GaiaGoddess]

You are not that special.

I never said I was special, all i'm doing is asking for what's the best way I can own my own place as quick as possible with the money i have or at least spend my money wisely that will lead me to my goal! I don't understand how people keep thinking that I think i'm special and deserve things without earning them!

You think you are disabled? Please. I wish you could meet my youngest son. He's severely autistic. Non-verbal. Marginally toilet trained and has the Developmental levels of approximately a three year old. He is disabled and will be his entire life. He will stay with his Father and Myself for as long as we are able to care for him, and then he will likely move to some sort of sheltered living/work environment. And shockingly, he is not even the most severely disabled student at his school. He can walk, he can run, he can laugh, he can feed himself and he does have limited means of communication and learning abilities.

You. Are. Not. Disabled. You drive. You work 84 hour a week shifts. You read. You write. Very well actually. You Surf the Internet and converse on message boards. Work days, nights or with people or without. Don't care. You have abilities and there are jobs you can do which will pay.

You must know there are different levels of disability. Obviously I am not saying I'm on the same level as your son. If the government recognizes DSPS as a disability, then don't shoot the messenger, get angry at the government. But unless you have it, you can't know what it's like. Of course I am a functioning adult who can take care of myself, I never said I wasn't, but this disorder makes it very hard to be in society, and we ALL say that, it isn't just me. It causes depression and anxiety in a lot of people who have it. It doesn't for me, mine are caused by other things, but it makes life harder when 99% of society doesn't understand you and judges you.

You want free Therapy by email that meets your specialized schedule? HA HA HA HA HA. Sorry but I have to say it. That therapist spent years in education and believe me, he/she also didn't love every second of school either. That therapist did it because he/she chose a career that they would enjoy AND allow them to be self-supporting.

I never said it had to be free therapy! I think everyone is reading into my words because I NEVER said I want someone to hand me a free home, or counsel me for free, or give me handouts. I even said, after finding that one site, oh it's only so much for this many emails, I didn't complain that I had to pay for it.

But here, I took Psych 101 in college and I'll give you the free version, because you really do get what you pay for. Get the bleep over yourself and realize that all these things you complain are the same types of problems everybody else has - you are not that special.

Really!? Everybody else has DSPS, a phone phobia, and wants to get away from their parents? And these issues does not make me special, I am just telling you the obstacles in my life, it's just stating a fact. When somebody asks for advice about their problems I don't tell them they're not special so they shouldn't have problems!

Please. Give me a break here. You're telling us that you get in your car and drive to a completely different State to work 84 hour a week shifts cooking. The lady who does that is NOT the weak, tremulous helpless victim you are trying to claim to be. That takes guts. That takes courage. That takes motivation. The woman who does that is not incompetent and helpless.

I never said I was a weak, helpless victim. I think everyone is trying to turn this into a psychology issue, all I wanted was financial advice on how to acquire a home as cheaply and quickly as possible, to see if maybe there was something I hadn't thought of yet. I think this thread has proved that owning a mobile home is the lowest option there is for the needs & wants that I have, so that's what i'm going to do, I just have to wait longer til I have more money saved up.

I think I can see why life at your Mom's house is …. likely contentious.

No it isn't like that at all, me and my mom don't argue. I never argue with anyone but my dad and that's only because he doesn't like when I live my life how I want to. But he's like that with everyone, not just me.

[GaiaGoddess]

I'm thinking OP is a troll. Apparently it has worked. Look at the time of her posts. They are all over the place. Afternoons, nights, overnight, early morning. Anyone working 84 hours a week wouldn't have completely open internet access.

I still don't know what a troll is. And let me explain why i'm on at wierd hours. I started this thread when I was home, on my break, so I was able to get on anytime, which was usually late at night or evening. But I also was moving my sleep time back when I was in the hotel for 2 days, so i was up earlier than normal. Then Tuesday night I was at work but I didn't start until last night at 7pm and I just got off now at 7 am (well, an hour ago now) so that's why i'm up in the morning. Geez I shouldn't have to defend the times i'm posting. I'm being accused of trolling and I dont even know what that means, and now you're bringing my post times into this. For the next 6 weeks I will only be able to get on right after work in the mornings. Do you want me to give you my boss's number so you can call him and verify I am who I say I am and I am where I say i am?

Sad thing is, there are actually people out there that think like this. Hopefully they will stumble upon this thread and learn something from it.

The sad thing is I came to an advice forum about money and ended up getting accused of something that isn't true and got insulted, I feel like i'm on a damn playground back in grade school!

Why doesn't everyone stop replying so I have nothing to answer anymore, i'll just buy a mobile home when i'm lucky enough to be home when the right one is still on the market.

[GaiaGoddess]

Or this could simply be her 2 week time off time?

thank you! Yes, it was my break, until last night at 7pm.

[GaiaGoddess]

Maybe. But I'd be using my two week off time to make my life better. Not wasting it complaining to people on the internet that every idea they suggest won't work.

How is asking for advice not trying to make your life better?

[GaiaGoddess]

I think you may be right. I don't normally 'forum stalk' people, but this has been so frustrating, and out of curiosity at mentions of other threads, I did go looking to see if this was a pattern of behavior. I found a discussion on an RV forum (where the "dream" for last 5-6 years was to live full-time in a travel trailer) that went on for 36 pages of the same kind of 'stuff'. Along with a decision to buy a particular RV in April, then a change of plans and the desire to get a smaller travel trailer in July. (That was a second thread of the same old-same old that went on for 8 pages.) What was interesting was that a comment made here:

Are you kidding!? You're stalking me on other forums?! You seriously didn't believe I was a real person? I just don't even know what to say now. That is just very low.

Directly contradicts the statement made there, in September 2013:



I see no "had to" there, do you?

So, yeah, it's hard to believe anything in this thread at this point.

I don't see where you see a contradiction there. Yes I paid off my car, I had to pay for it, nobody else was going to pay it for me, I bought it, I had to finish making the payments until it was paid off. I dont know any other way to say it. How is this a contradiction to saying I had to pay it off and therefore I couldn't start saving money until after I paid it off?

Maybe no exactly a "troll", since there's nothing here to really incite a flame war, but certainly it seems to be attention-seeking behavior.

Can someone please tell me what a troll is and what a flame war is instead of accusing me of it indirectly to everyone else except me as if i'm not here!? And how can you say this is attention seeking when i'm just asking for advice on a forum that is made for people to ask for advice on, and you're here too!?

If it's not, if the OP is truly interested in owning her own home,

Well no F------ S--- I want to own my own home! Why would I waste my time acting like I do when I don't?

[GaiaGoddess]

$600 for a camera? Get out of town!

I'm a photographer and i've never had a good camera before, right now i'm using my cellphone and surely you know how crappy those are. You can't make money off cellphone pictures. I want to take pictures of galaxies, the stars, lightning, the moon, and as much as I wish a cheap camera could take those pictures, they can't. I am going to be taking a photography course and you need a decent camera, not any old point and shoot that you find at Walmart. Walk into a Best Buy and go to their camera section and see how much they are. $600 is 1/4th the price of those cameras. I even had a friend help me find a deal where I get the camera along with all the accessories you need in a bundle, normally this camera is $700 by itself so I got a deal.

$200+ for ingredients to make shampoo, etc.? Surely you jest.

Not just shampoo...conditioner, soap, toothpaste, lotion, facial cleanser, shower soap, hair gel, mouthwash, deodorants, gifts for other people, etc. and this $200 worth of stuff will last me a year or two, at least. I'm sure you spend that much on those things in a few months, that is the whole point in making them yourself, to save money in the long run! I want to make a business out of this, like the photography thing. I am planning for my future trying to create more streams of income and i'm getting judged & ridiculed for it, wow.

Presents for birthday's, weddings, and fundraisers for others and then $200 off to a co-worker.

I'm confused, are you saying it's a bad thing to be charitable and be there for friends in need and buy them gifts for their weddings and birthdays? I'm glad you're not my friend if you don't do these things.

$600 for a camera when it isn't even a business expense because maybe she will start a business taking photographs? Ridiculous!

Yes, that's one of my dreams and thank you for trying to S--- all over it.

Please everyone just stop with the judging and ridiculing.

[GaiaGoddess]

Sorry the poster was Cardtrick post #79. My mistake.

But where did you find it and what does it have to do with saving money for a home!?