Giving Up On My Co-Workers -sigh-

[Singuy]

My Co-workers all make 100k+, some even have husbands that makes the same. NONE of my co-workers have any savings or money. I tried to work with them but I feel like I'm talking to a wall.

Example 1

Coworker makes 110k/year, husband makes 100k/year. They have 2 kids, two houses, their main house has a debt of 280k, the other house is being rented(at a lose, they are going to try to sell it).

My suggestion to her was: see if you can spend no more than 7k a month, use the rest of the money to pay off your main house. You guys will be debt free in 4 years. Imagine in 10 years, you guys will have no house payments and 500k in the bank.

Answer I got was :no I can't do that. We like to go out and eat, and I need to spend money for my cellulite/wrinkles/etc. So I'll put in 1 extra payment toward my house every year, and it's a 30 year mortgage.

Example 2.

Coworker makes 110k/year, husband makes 150k/year. Have 3 kids. 30 year mortgage, payoff in 20 years. Still owe 360k on the house. Now she wants to upgrade to a 1.05million dollar house, and also wants a 300k beach condo. All 3 kids are in private school, tuition=74k/year. Has CC debt of about 10k.

My suggestion: Facepalm-don't even know where to start. No matter how I calculate it, they will be 2k short every month even on rice and beans.

Yeah I give up..I can't believe out of my 25 co-workers, all making over 100k, only 3 people have money. The rest are broke. I'm extremely surprise someone who worked the last 10 years making 100k+, just took out a loan on a car...wtf do people do with their MONEY?!

[JoeP]

Not to be mean, but did these people come to you looking for advice on how to manage their finances? If not, but you are offering unsolicited financial advice anyway, this is considered by some to be rude, and also is not a reason for you to get worked up.

[ua_guy]

Personal finances are kind of like riding a motorcycle. Unless someone asks for advice, ride your own and stay clear of the potential wreck ahead. Be a spectator standing in shock and awe, but don't get angry

[97guns]

at least they're not coming to you looking to borrow $20 for lunch or gas, these are the types of leeches i used to work with, co workers are not friends

[Nika]

Don't know how much of this is to get kids into good schools and activities.

Until you have kids of school age, you will never understand.

Even I did not understand until I actually looked into my school options and now I get the level of desperation. I used to view it as silly and even crazy, and parents as competitive and obsessed, before I was faced with this choice myself and actually read up on the schools and the difference. Now I'm looking into buying a place I can't really afford, just to be zoned for a great school.

[BuckyBadger]

As my mother used to say when I asked about things that had nothing to do with me:

MYOB.

I'm constantly amazed at how so many people seem to know so intimately the financial details of their neighbors/coworkers/friends. I don't know how much my neighbors owe on their houses and cars or how robust their retirement accounts are. Whatever happened to not worrying about things that don't affect you and that you can't change?

And I certainly can't imagine giving people financial advice.

[bjl584]

Unless your coworkers come to you looking for advice, I wouldn't even talk about money with anyone while at work. Just do your job, keep things at a working relationship level with coworkers, and go home at night with the peace of mind that you are doing the right things financially for yourself and your family. Don't even give one thought as to what others around you are doing.

[disneysteve]

I'm constantly amazed at how so many people seem to know so intimately the financial details of their neighbors/coworkers/friends. I don't know how much my neighbors owe on their houses and cars or how robust their retirement accounts are. Whatever happened to not worrying about things that don't affect you and that you can't change?

And I certainly can't imagine giving people financial advice.

The only way I would have details of someone else's finances is if they chose to share them. So if someone decides to talk about their income and debts, I don't think it is that far-fetched to expect that others may comment on them, perhaps trying to offer some useful advice. I've certainly done that from time to time if I thought the person I was speaking to might appreciate my input. Other times, I knew my words would not be appreciated so I kept my mouth shut.

OP, it doesn't surprise me at all that folks making 200K and above would essentially be broke. Most people elevate their lifestyle to match their income. As they earn more, they spend more. They upgrade their cell phones with more minutes and more data, they move up to the super premium cable package, they buy a bigger house and a nicer car, they take fancier vacation and put their kids in better schools. They eat at nicer restaurants and get a better landscaper. Before you know it, they're spending every penny they make, just like they were when they earned half as much.

[AggieLife]

The only way I would have details of someone else's finances is if they chose to share them. So if someone decides to talk about their income and debts, I don't think it is that far-fetched to expect that others may comment on them, perhaps trying to offer some useful advice. I've certainly done that from time to time if I thought the person I was speaking to might appreciate my input. Other times, I knew my words would not be appreciated so I kept my mouth shut.

OP, it doesn't surprise me at all that folks making 200K and above would essentially be broke. Most people elevate their lifestyle to match their income. As they earn more, they spend more. They upgrade their cell phones with more minutes and more data, they move up to the super premium cable package, they buy a bigger house and a nicer car, they take fancier vacation and put their kids in better schools. They eat at nicer restaurants and get a better landscaper. Before you know it, they're spending every penny they make, just like they were when they earned half as much.

Agreed. People should continue to live as long as possible on original salaries, even after raises. People are so accustomed to getting better cars, home, anything once they are given a raise.

OP, definitely give advice if asked upon, but I wouldn't stress out over your coworkers. There will come a time in their lives when they realize they need to changes some things, or continue living in debt. It's their choice, and they won't listen to you if they don't want to change how they live.

[Nika]

Agreed. People should continue to live as long as possible on original salaries, even after raises. People are so accustomed to getting better cars, home, anything once they are given a raise.

When DH got his last raise, I finally decided to bite the bullet and set his retirement plan contribution to a maximum ($17,500). That, in effect, made our take-home $200 less each paycheck than pre-raise take-home. I have to admit, that kind of sucks. Just emotionally. I know how much more is going to retirement each paycheck, and how much it is saving us on taxes, but it is still unpleasant to receive a smaller check.

[corn18]

I know the answer to your question. That was me 8 months ago. $350,000 / year salary and no money. Disneysteve outlined it pretty well.

[Singuy]

Just letting people know, the REASON I know so much about their finances is because they ASK about the best way to pay off their houses and to retire early.

One co-worker always ask me for advice before she purchases anything. I'm pretty much the ONLY person in the entire department people have awknowleged as the financial guru. I help them calculate interest rates, their out of pocket expenses, where to put their money, and how to pay off their debt.

No, I don't go around giving people lectures. Also whenever they ask me about my financial background, I pretty much tell them my wife and I paid 250k toward our debt (mortgage/student loans) in the last 2 years.
Their next question is usually not "how", but WHY? Everyone thinks debt is good for them because it saves them tax money.

So far, everyone wants to be in my shoes financially, but no one is willing to compromise.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

It might be part of your workplace culture to complain about money. Maybe some are not really even as messed up as they make themselves sound. We could hope so anyway. I advise that you just keep calm and continue to set the good example, should anyone care to notice.

I'll tell you, though, these are the sorts of people I worry about reaching old age with little to fall back on. If they've become accustomed to such a high level of consumption, how will they adjust to way less when they can no longer work? What will happen to them?

[corn18]

It might be part of your workplace culture to complain about money. Maybe some are not really even as messed up as they make themselves sound. We could hope so anyway. I advise that you just keep calm and continue to set the good example, should anyone care to notice.

I'll tell you, though, these are the sorts of people I worry about reaching old age with little to fall back on. If they've become accustomed to such a high level of consumption, how will they adjust to way less when they can no longer work? What will happen to them?

Hopefully they do what I did and find these fora. Getting a serious reality check and then reading the book the millionaire next door has changed me forever. Just hope I'm not too late.

For the OP, they don't want to be poor. They want to change. They know what needs to be done. They like the spend all your money and then some lifestyle. Until they have a haiku moment, you cannot help them.

[ua_guy]

It might be part of your workplace culture to complain about money. Maybe some are not really even as messed up as they make themselves sound. We could hope so anyway. I advise that you just keep calm and continue to set the good example, should anyone care to notice.

I'll tell you, though, these are the sorts of people I worry about reaching old age with little to fall back on. If they've become accustomed to such a high level of consumption, how will they adjust to way less when they can no longer work? What will happen to them?

This is a good point, and a bigger concern. According to the Employee Benefit Research Institute, 39% of people age 55 and older have less than $25,000 in their retirement accounts.

Also, the average retirement period lasts 18 years.
Life expectancy is going up, yet retirement savings are stagnant.

There are problems coming that are bigger than we can even imagine. Not pretty to think about.