Do you get envious?

[Reggie]

Also, that ZL1 is going to hold its value pretty well over the years.

[Weird Tolkienish Figure]

I know that what my neighbors have and do shouldn't matter to me, but it's getting to the point that I can't stand it. We don't make a ton of money and we work very hard to keep within our budget and watch where money goes. We have a neighbor who is the complete opposite. They make more money than we do, but they spend it all on ridiculous things and never have enough money at the end of the month. This ends up not being a problem because their parents are quite wealthy and they always send money to make up for whatever shortfall they may have.

This probably wouldn't make me envious in itself, but then they go on about how responsible they are and how they have no debt. Well, of course they don't have any debt because their parents pay it off whenever it comes about. Because we work so hard to keep within our budget, I just get envious that they have it so easy when they make no effort to actually budget themselves. I don't want to be this way, but this feeling comes about time and time again.

Am I the only one who gets envious like this, or do other people get the same feelings?

The other reply where someone called envy a "self-destructive emotion" is really spot on in my opinion. Rivals with "self pity" in that regard, and once you're set in that mindset, it can be very hard to escape.

[disneysteve]

They make more money than we do, but they spend it all on ridiculous things and never have enough money at the end of the month.

Why would you possibly be envious of them? I could understand being envious of someone who is successful and winning in life but not someone who is a financial disaster and needs to repeatedly be bailed out by their parents.

[snafu]

SFGloria, I know several couples who are constantly buying and bragging about their newest acquisitions. I remember writing research papers on what motivates that behaviour. Most often these folk have deep, emotional needs that have not been met. They try to fill that hole with stuff but satisfaction only lasts a short time. Your neighbours have added totally immature behaviour of having mommy and daddy pay because they can't afford the toys. Ouch, that sounds awful, when will they become adults? Just because they are chronologically termed adult doesn't make them so.

The envy is destructive, enjoy the love and respect from family, friends and colleagues. I'd picture this gal with a lollipop and ask why mommy and daddy need to buy her love and respect?

[UnknownXV]

In the context of what you describe, I would be a bit annoyed and jealous yes. Having rich parents who will help you out every month so you can spend everything you earn... that's a nice safety net that most people don't have.

What I know, though, is such feelings of envy will not help me. It will not lead to a better life. It's best to make every attempt to discard those feelings. They didn't steal the money, they aren't doing anything wrong and it probably won't change. Just focus on being thrifty and eventually you'll be able to retire and join them in the easy life club.

[bigdaddybus]

I dont really have envy with my neighbors but I battle it sometimes with family.

My side of the family have some wealthy people (12,000+ sqft homes, kids going to any college they want, multiple vacations every year that most consider "once in a lifetime", nothing but first class airfare, food, clothes, and hotels. They pay cash for all vehicles, toys, etc and are overall pretty thrifty for being multimillionaires. I am genuinely proud of their success, but its hard not to have a few "DAMN! That would be nice!" moments when you are with them.
In comparision, my wife and I make 2-3X the income of most anyone on her side of the family and several have told us they are envious of us! Guess it's all perspective.

And one of my coworkers drives a 2010 Porsche 911 Turbo S. Yeah, I lust a bit everytime I see that car, but its not like I am going to drain my accounts to get one. I am content just dreaming a bit everytime I see it

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Absolutely. You wouldn't be human. I am envious of people for many different reasons and not only money. I am envious of friends who are thin. LOL And those who have three kids and I want a third desperately. I'm not even sure those with three kids make more but somehow they jumped in and had a third child. While I struggle with wanting a third kid but my DH thinking we can't afford it.

So yes I do feel envy. I envy those who have a house for their kids. And sitters they hire whenever they want to help them with their kids.

But then I am also grateful for everything I have. I have a lot to be thankful for on the flip side. I have two healthy kids and I see others with kids who aren't. So like bigdaddybus says it's all relative.

[Permanent Temp]

The situation posed in OP's original post does not make me envious. Obviously those people do not know what to do with their money. If their parents money is no longer being supplied to them they will crumble. And their children will not know how to manage money either. Perpetuating a vicious cycle of dependent adults.

I do envy people I see when I am at my part-time job. People who don't even sign up for the discount card even after I've told them it would save a few bucks, and don't even take my tips or offers for savings. I envy people who come in and buy $400 worth of stuff pay in cash and don't complain about it.

I used to envy the women who came in with nice jewelry clothes and purses. That envy almost got me in trouble a few times as I almost purchased these items at the detriment of my debt payment plan. I try now a days to focus on what I do have and try to figure out a way to get things I think I need by coming up with ways to make sure I have income.

I try to turn envy into something more constructive, before it was a poison that was affecting my life goals.

[cardtrick]

Who said life was fair? Spending time envying others is a waste. Either you learn to ignore what others are doing or you figure out a way to earn more money so you can keep up with the joneses. Not saying the latter is a bad thing. We are social animals and we obviously care about how people view us. So, it's very natural to want to appear as good/better than the people next to us.

[JadeSmith]

it does feel bad that how hard it is to make money and then people get it just like that, but then it makes us strong! We know how to tackle with debts, how to cut the cost when bad times come. But these people would be crazy if put into same situation.

[dawnwes]

We had neighbors who put in a very nice pool with a waterfall, got a new kitchen, had a beach condo (not a timeshare, it was owned by them), had their kids in everything under the sun, including a gymnastics coach for $1,200/mo. They had newer cars, etc......

They had to file bankruptcy and move and last I heard they were divorcing.

Please don't be envious of those who can't keep their finances together and brag about their stupidity. The end of the road for them is not pretty.

Be content with what you have and with the wisdom of being secure in your financial future.