Do you get envious?

**corn18** · 03-21-2014, 05:20 AM

Originally posted by SFGloria View Post

I know that what my neighbors have and do shouldn't matter to me, but it's getting to the point that I can't stand it. We don't make a ton of money and we work very hard to keep within our budget and watch where money goes. We have a neighbor who is the complete opposite. They make more money than we do, but they spend it all on ridiculous things and never have enough money at the end of the month. This ends up not being a problem because their parents are quite wealthy and they always send money to make up for whatever shortfall they may have.

This probably wouldn't make me envious in itself, but then they go on about how responsible they are and how they have no debt. Well, of course they don't have any debt because their parents pay it off whenever it comes about. Because we work so hard to keep within our budget, I just get envious that they have it so easy when they make no effort to actually budget themselves. I don't want to be this way, but this feeling comes about time and time again.

Am I the only one who gets envious like this, or do other people get the same feelings?

There's a good chance you are happier and wealthier than they are.

**BuckyBadger** · 03-21-2014, 07:07 AM

I always find posts like these troubling. There seem to be so many people judging other people for things about which they have no vested interest.

It makes me wonder,

1) Why do people care so much about what other people are doing? It doesn't affect you unless they're hitting you up for money. Something that is ridiculous to you might not be to them, and something that you buy might be ridiculous to them.

and

2) How do people know this much about their neighbors? I certainly don't know anything about my neighbors' debts, not would I know if their parents were paying for things for them. I also don't know what they make and I don't know what they're buying.

**rennigade** · 03-21-2014, 08:39 AM

In terms of money your neighbors were dealt a better hand than you. Simple as that.

A lot of people who have money given to them or who were born into money have trouble appreciating things. Instead of having to save up for something they can go get it without worrying. Its like that saying...you dont appreciate what you have till its gone. That applies to them.

I wouldnt sweat it. Like someone else said...you are probably happier than they are.

**sniper260** · 03-24-2014, 08:37 AM

Just wait until their parents die off and they get the inhearitance and blow it all and have nothing anymore.. It happens everyday. Thats why hard working people like us try so hard to get ahead. It takes time and its not easy at any rate. I would rather be born poor, grow up poor, and make something of myself rather than have it all handed to me... There is a totally different mind set with people who can say I worked for all of my things vs people who cant say that and have it all given to them. I wouldnt worry..

On the same note - yeah I get envious too... I wish I could have allllllllllll kinds of things... but I know I cant. You just have to find yourself with your spouse/partner and enjoy what you do have and what you can do... money doesnt bring happiness in the end... it brings happiness for a a few days when you get something new... then your depressed again... Keeping up with the jones = well dressed poverty.

**ua_guy** · 03-24-2014, 08:45 AM

The sooner you can let this go, the better off you will be.

Sometimes when you look at the motives and reasons why people keep such nice things, or even the reasons they tell you about their financial situation and how great it is, it's usually because there's an endless pool of insecurity lurking beneath it all. And, it's often the people that LOOK like they have the most, really have nothing at all. It's all income and all expenses. There's never anything left over, not even a pot to piss in, if something upsets their house of cards.

Any jealous for me would have ended with knowing they have free money coming in from a rich family.

**bjl584** · 03-24-2014, 09:13 AM

I wouldn't worry about the neighbors. Unless their behavior starts to directly impact your life I wouldn't give it another thought.

**NetSkyBlue** · 03-24-2014, 11:11 AM

I certainly do. It's not really about *them*...it's about they have things that I want to have, but can't (or can't yet). I feel this every day, most people my age that I grew up with have houses of their own (age 30), and it's going to take me another 6 years to save up enough for a downpayment on a house half the value of what most of them have. Yeah, it makes me sad that I don't have a house yet. And I kind of feel like I have to make the choice between a house and a child, whereas they have both. Where does the money come from? I know what you're feeling, but what do you do? Not much you can do.

**corn18** · 03-24-2014, 11:24 AM

Originally posted by NetSkyBlue View Post

I certainly do. It's not really about *them*...it's about they have things that I want to have, but can't (or can't yet). I feel this every day, most people my age that I grew up with have houses of their own (age 30), and it's going to take me another 6 years to save up enough for a downpayment on a house half the value of what most of them have. Yeah, it makes me sad that I don't have a house yet. And I kind of feel like I have to make the choice between a house and a child, whereas they have both. Where does the money come from? I know what you're feeling, but what do you do? Not much you can do.

Be careful what you wish for. My last house I owned was a $500,000 4BR, 3BA McMansion. To buy it, I had to max out @ 35% debt to income and take out an interest only variable rate loan with no money down. How many stupids did I pull off with that one loan? Almost bankrupted my family. My neighbors thought I was very wealthy and were envious.

Keep doing smart things and I think the probability of happiness will be much higher than it was for me.

Tom

**bjl584** · 03-24-2014, 11:46 AM

Originally posted by NetSkyBlue View Post

I certainly do. It's not really about *them*...it's about they have things that I want to have, but can't (or can't yet). I feel this every day, most people my age that I grew up with have houses of their own (age 30), and it's going to take me another 6 years to save up enough for a downpayment on a house half the value of what most of them have. Yeah, it makes me sad that I don't have a house yet. And I kind of feel like I have to make the choice between a house and a child, whereas they have both. Where does the money come from? I know what you're feeling, but what do you do? Not much you can do.

The money probably comes from someone else (bank.) Because, they are most likely financed to the gills.

**JoeP** · 03-25-2014, 05:13 AM

Originally posted by bjl584 View Post

The money probably comes from someone else (bank.) Because, they are most likely financed to the gills.

My county has online public records, and I did a search on a few of my neighbors. One that sounds remarkably like the OP's has had about 8 mortgages and lines of credit over the past 15 years (some are re-fi), some as little as $4500 and others in the $40-$60k range. They've consolidated a few, but it is interesting to see how often they hit up the bank to support their lifestyle. They also have car loans and are still making payments on a 4 wheeler and a PWC. They make probably twice what we make, but I strongly suspect their net worth is far lower.

Envious? No way!

**Blessed** · 03-25-2014, 05:45 AM

Nope because it is a useless destructive emotion to me personally. Even if one doesn't have material things they may desire they still likely have many fantastic things in their lives. I saw this quote just this morning ~ Jealousy is the art of counting someone else�s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: �What�s something I have that everyone wants?�

**Reggie** · 03-25-2014, 06:42 AM

I get jealous! I like nice things sometimes and I get jealous when I see other people with newer cars and nice furniture etc. I love my home and its paid for but it would be awesome to go spend a bunch of money on a fun car.

My husband and I test drove a ZL1 Camaro on Saturday. I love fast cars. It's $55k. I want that car! It's so damn fast. My husband can afford it but he's being too damn cheap. I bought a sports car last year, so I cannot afford it. I really want him to buy this car so I can drive it.

Yes, I'm jealous!!!!

**ua_guy** · 03-25-2014, 07:49 AM

Originally posted by Reggie View Post

I get jealous! I like nice things sometimes and I get jealous when I see other people with newer cars and nice furniture etc. I love my home and its paid for but it would be awesome to go spend a bunch of money on a fun car.

My husband and I test drove a ZL1 Camaro on Saturday. I love fast cars. It's $55k. I want that car! It's so damn fast. My husband can afford it but he's being too damn cheap. I bought a sports car last year, so I cannot afford it. I really want him to buy this car so I can drive it.

Yes, I'm jealous!!!!

The SS is a much better value proposition. Nicely optioned for less than $35k, and you still get 420hp with the LS3 engine. That car is almost too much for public roads as it is. I truly could not imagine driving a ZL1 on a daily basis. It's almost in pure track-car territory.

YMMV

**Reggie** · 03-25-2014, 07:54 AM

There's a track not 20 miles from my house. I used to race cars in my youth. I WANT that horsepower, I NEED that horsepower. I grew up on that kind of horsepower. I turned the tires over in the first three gears and had three more to go.

It's not a daily driver that's for sure. But that's why I have a beater. My sports car isn't a daily driver either. They are just toys.

Do you get envious?