Is Ignoring Society the Key to a Happier Life?

[Doublejm1]

The topic is explored in this article:

For a Happier Life, Ignore What Society Tells You to Do

While I agree with many of the author's points, I think society incites us to be -- or try to be -- the best at everything we do, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The fact of the matter is that we live in a capitalistic society where success is measured by material possessions. It's not exactly fair, but it's the hard truth. Why else would so many people strive to buy the best brands and flaunt their goodies? And let's face it -- if you're 45 years old and have never been married, most people will think there's something seriously wrong with you.

Do you guys agree?

[gogirlanime]

I HIGHLY HIGHLY agree that ignoring society is the key to happiness. I have never felt happier than the time I decided to give society the middle finger. Don't be such an outcast or different from society that you are socially handicapped. However, seriously, we spend way to much time, money, etc, to impress people that just don't care. Do what you and literally only you makes you happy. If you like comics, buy comics and don't care if society labels you as a, "geek" there is no way I'd ever go back now. I am the way I like to be I buy what I like and I only care what a very select few think of me.

I do some weird things, like, take the bus, buy second hand, I am as cheap as you can imagine and some people think that is a poor person's lifestyle or disgusting to be so cheap. But I don't care, what it's done for me is enable me to buy what I want and still have tons left over

Also, if you truly care about your public image that much but want to save money then do it the "ghetto" way and buy fakes. I bought a fake engagement ring so my customers would treat me different and it worked, cost me $15 but I've already made more than that in tips than I usually do.

[dojo]

He he, agree with the above poster. We don't really care about what society 'thinks', we care about US and our family. We're frugal in some areas, we spend more on the things that really matter to us and are VERY happy doing so.

[TheKayla]

I actually just watched a documentary about this last night. Basically what it boiled down to is capitalism breeds the unhappiest people (and dumbest with money), and primarily because of that it's not sustainable for any culture. Our society is just the opposite of getting us what we really want, and great at convincing us that things we don't need are the solution! I completely agree, if happiness is the ultimate goal, then there's no need to make sure society accepts you, it's surely not the solution.

[cschin4]

Well, at some point in life you have to stop looking for approval from the world. Find it within yourself and God. Live your life on your terms in the manner that you believe is true to who you are. And, if other people don't like it, they can go pound salt.

[ua_guy]

I think the takeaway from the article is to be true to oneself. That also means not judging. Sometimes to ignore is not enough, and beyond that we judge or develop a distaste for people. I truly don't care what the Jones' are up to, as long as they're not telling me I'm a horrible person for the way I choose to live my life. I don't live the way they do, but that doesn't mean my way is any better or worse, it's just different. It's what makes me happy.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I actually just watched a documentary about this last night.

Could you share the title and source of this? If possible, I'd like to see it.

Though I will acknowledge that one must be secure within themselves to not be blown by every consumerist wind, I also think that being richly connected to other people in meaningful relationships and having high regard for other human beings helps make for a happy content life.

Society? Yes: connect in healthy, thinking, appreciative, neighborly, family building ways. My house is your house. Your cousin is my cousin. My bike is your bike. Won't you stay for supper? That is the kind of society in which I am happier, though it can be hard to build these days.

I/we get richer that way. I've probably mentioned it half a dozen times here, but I have some gardens that would not exist without my connections to others. One large garden is flowers, herbs, and a few vegetables. The neighbor who owns the land takes bouquets to work because there is such bounty. Sometimes she has taken loads of cucumbers to work where they became part of the menu (in a religiously affiliated community center). Three neighbors dispose of their grass clippings to build the soil in this garden and also get produce in return. People out walking for exercise or just on their way to work or the store stop to chat, offer advice, plants, and talk about neighborhood news. People doing carpools to the sheltered workshop across the street stop to find out what I'm doing and sometimes are given a start of a plant.

Another garden is on abandoned property taken over by the city. There the next door neighbors let me use their water for 3-4 hours at a time! I bring them flowers they can transplant to their own garden, jellies and preserves we have made. They tell me about the history of the area and generally support my efforts to make beautiful and productive the vacant land next to them which once was as source of fear for them as they imagined mal-intentioned people might hide in the tall weeds (and in fact they have seen drunks for the nearby bar hang out there in the pre-garden days.) In just a couple more years they will have as much fruit as they want from the trees and shrubs I've planted....And as for me, there is no place I am happier than at that garden, but it would be one crispy-dry spot without the neighbors' water!

Really, who does not have stories of how your connections to people are your real sources of happiness? Your children? Your parents? Your siblings? Your friends? They are part of society, too.

[legendtobe]

Ignoring society shouldn't be rebelling against everything that is. However, if you're referring to having a positive attitude and not letting things get you down, then that is fine.

[JoeP]

Everybody is telling us to buy stuff, either directly or indirectly.

Directly: Radio advertisements, TV advertisements, newspaper/magazine advertisements, product placement in movies, injections in sports broadcasts (The Prudential Halftime Report, The Dr Pepper SEC Championship).

Indirectly: Peer pressure from folks carrying around new cell phones and tablet PCs, people asking if you are on FaceBook and then giving you that look when you tell them you aren't, people asking you for your number so they can text you but you don't have a text compatible phone, people asking you if you saw the show that is on a cable-only channel.

We are immensely happy because we don't cave in to this kind of pressure. Ever see the British show "Keeping Up Appearances?" Awesome show about someone obsessed with the display of success and wealth, and while it doesn't show direct financial loss, it does show what happens when you lose touch with the actual important things in life.

[cschin4]

I think there is a need to find your own level and block out the noise of life. There was a time where I did a lot of things because I felt I had to or needed too. Like certain types of remodeling or the car I bought, etc. Now, I don't care. I realized I was doing things because of false notions from the media and trying to live some standard of living that wasn't what I wanted but what I thought brought happiness. Now, I don't care. I live the way I please. But, I still embrace technology and some pop culture. I love my smart phone. I do what works for ME and MY family. And, that is what all of you should do. If you don't need or want a smartphone. Don't buy one. But, if you want one, get one. Just don't do these things because of some illusion of what you think you should be doing.

[bjl584]

If you're speaking in financial terms, then yes. Society would have you running up credit card debt, buying too much house, trading your car in every three years, and saving for retirement "later."

[fruitbowlk]

I think it is, we are living in a messed up society that makes ups liars, cheaters, thieves, greedy and ungrateful. I have decided to stop buying toys for my daughter just because it's xmas and my husband is determine to fight me on it and try to make me feel bad but when a child said to you I didn't ask for any of this your eyes should open and you should stop.
I don't have my child being babysat by a television set. I expect greatness from her and want her to expect it from herself. I want her to respect other and herself. I want her to believe in something higher than herself. I don't want her to worship rock starts that are pure flawed humans. I'm teaching her at an early age that if you don't work hard you don't eat well. I don't believe in buying material things just to buy a child's happiness. I myself don't buy clothes or shoes just because I have had them too long or because I have a scrap on them. If we learn to live more simpler we would be so much happier. My pastor preach out Which tent do you leave in Contentment or discontentment?

[TheKayla]

I have decided to stop buying toys for my daughter just because it's xmas and my husband is determine to fight me on it and try to make me feel bad but when a child said to you I didn't ask for any of this your eyes should open and you should stop.

I like this approach and agree with you. I think as far as celebrating a holiday, it keeps it down to earth too. Holidays don't need to be about giving material goods, it can be about giving in so many other ways if one chooses to celebrate it that way. Too many kids expect material things on xmas -- I even have a friend who wasn't raised christian and expects material things on christmas from her parents -- because everyone else gets something. (I wouldn't ever say it to her directly, but I've always thought it was very selfish. Talk about forgetting the reason for the season.) If anything, I would give my (future) kids an experience for a gift, maybe make their favorite treat or something to celebrate the day -- not hundreds of dollars in crap that they may not even want that much, or will otherwise be uninterested in a few months afterwards! To me, the vast majority of materialistic gifts are a waste of money.

[gogirlanime]

I think it is, we are living in a messed up society that makes ups liars, cheaters, thieves, greedy and ungrateful. I have decided to stop buying toys for my daughter just because it's xmas and my husband is determine to fight me on it and try to make me feel bad but when a child said to you I didn't ask for any of this your eyes should open and you should stop.
I don't have my child being babysat by a television set. I expect greatness from her and want her to expect it from herself. I want her to respect other and herself. I want her to believe in something higher than herself. I don't want her to worship rock starts that are pure flawed humans. I'm teaching her at an early age that if you don't work hard you don't eat well. I don't believe in buying material things just to buy a child's happiness. I myself don't buy clothes or shoes just because I have had them too long or because I have a scrap on them. If we learn to live more simpler we would be so much happier. My pastor preach out Which tent do you leave in Contentment or discontentment?

My parents raised me this way and I am a grateful and genuinely happy person even though me and my boyfriend's combined annual income is under 30K. We don't have a lot but we also don't feel like we are living without.

[cschin4]

I think it is, we are living in a messed up society that makes ups liars, cheaters, thieves, greedy and ungrateful. I have decided to stop buying toys for my daughter just because it's xmas and my husband is determine to fight me on it and try to make me feel bad but when a child said to you I didn't ask for any of this your eyes should open and you should stop.
I don't have my child being babysat by a television set. I expect greatness from her and want her to expect it from herself. I want her to respect other and herself. I want her to believe in something higher than herself. I don't want her to worship rock starts that are pure flawed humans. I'm teaching her at an early age that if you don't work hard you don't eat well. I don't believe in buying material things just to buy a child's happiness. I myself don't buy clothes or shoes just because I have had them too long or because I have a scrap on them. If we learn to live more simpler we would be so much happier. My pastor preach out Which tent do you leave in Contentment or discontentment?

"I expect Greatness from her". Sorry but this disturbs me a little. Too many kids are pressured, pressured, pressured by their parents to live up to some version of whatever their parents imagine. As a parent, I honestly don't get understand that mentality. I want my kids to grow up healthy, happy and whole. I don't care if they pump gas for a living or do brain surgery. My priority is to see that they grow up as good, caring decent human beings. I don't need to live vicariously through my kids. Their achievements are their achievements. My child needs to own his/her own life and be who they are.