What is the proper amount to give in cash for a wedding?

[lorraineb]

I have a couple of weddings to go to coming up and I'm wondering what you feel is the proper amount to give for a wedding in cash, or do you just buy something off their registry? If you buy off the registry, around how much do you spend on a gift? Is the amount different depending if you are a relative vs a friend? And lastly, do you think it's better to give cash or something off the registry?

[bjl584]

Give what you can afford to give. Don't give an amount that you think others expect you to give. Give within your means.

[MonkeyMama]

Give what you can afford to give. Don't give an amount that you think others expect you to give. Give within your means.

Exactly.

[disneysteve]

We generally gift from the registry. Presumable, that is a list of items that the couple would actually like to have. If it is just my wife and I, we usually give about $100 unless we are particularly close to the couple and then closer to $150. If it is all 3 of us, $150 for sure.

One advantage of buying off the registry is that we are often able to give a gift worth $100-150 without actually spending that much by shopping a sale or using a coupon or going to an outlet store. Or you can spend the same money and get them a lot more. For example, for one wedding, we wanted to buy some of their crystal. At regular price at the store where they were registered, we could have gotten two stems. At the outlet, we were able to get them six.

[BuckyBadger]

Give what you can afford to give. My own personal numbers are similar to Steve's. I usually buy something from the registry, as well, but I'm not as good about bargain shopping. I usually just buy directly from the store where they are registered. It gets shipped and I don't have to worry. Then they can return it if they decide they want cash later.

[phantom]

I generally only buy gifts off the registry if I'm going to the bridal shower, and I give cash if I'm going to the wedding. It's just awkward to bring large gifts to a wedding. A card with money in it is much easier to manage. I will only use the registry for the wedding itself if the item is small in size or if I can have it shipped to the couple's house after the wedding (and after the honeymoon if the couple will be away right after the wedding).

As for the amount I give, I vary that based on how well I know and like the couple. Casual acquaintances and distant relatives get about the same amount, and close friends and relatives get more. My spending doesn't vary much depending on whether I'm buying something or giving money.

[scfr]

We were invited to a wedding later this month. It's a second marriage for both parties, so they requested donations to a favorite charity in lieu of gifts (which I think is a very cool idea BTW). You can see what others donated unless they choose to remain anonymous. DH & I donated $100. That has been the most common donation amount. A few people have donated more, none less than that so far.

The man is a friend of DH, not super close. If it were a close family member, we would have given more.

Generally speaking, unless the couple has made a request like the one I mentioned, I order off the registry. I have the gift sent to their home so that they don't have to deal with it at the wedding. I spend in the $50-125 range, depending on relationship with the couple. For a really close relative (like a sibling) it would probably be closer to $200-250, but that situation hasn't come up in a really long time.

[kork13]

I typically give cash as my wedding gift, and normally about $100. If I don't know the person as well (but for some reason still feel obliged to give something), I'll give a lower amount, like $50 or something. For immediate family or close friends (which hasn't really happened for me very much yet), I'll definitely do a higher amount, like $150-$200.

I'm probably looking at it the wrong way, but I don't normally get stuff off of the registry (though I will at least look through them, possibly see if something makes sense for me to get them). But half the time, it seems that registry items are just needless stuff that was thrown on there just for the sake of having items on the registry. I figure if I give cash, I can either help in a small way offset the (typically) outrageous cost of putting on a wedding, or give them the opportunity to use it for something they really need. If nothing else, give their savings accounts a boost after being ravaged by the wedding.

[disneysteve]

half the time, it seems that registry items are just needless stuff that was thrown on there just for the sake of having items on the registry.

There's some of that. One time, we looked at the registry and every single item that remained (we procrastinated a bit) was far more than we were looking to spend. High end Egyptian cotton sheet sets, Waterford crystal bowls, you get the idea.

One growing problem with registries is that as people get married later and later in life, they already have everything they need and use the registry to fulfill wants. In that case, we give cash.

[cypher1]

I typically give cash as my wedding gift, and normally about $100. If I don't know the person as well (but for some reason still feel obliged to give something), I'll give a lower amount, like $50 or something. For immediate family or close friends (which hasn't really happened for me very much yet), I'll definitely do a higher amount, like $150-$200.

Same for me also. Although close friends/immediate family is 200, otherwise 50 if I don't know the people well. I'm just lazy when it comes to shopping, no excuse. That's where cash comes in.

[wjcalderon]

The last 2 weddings I attended, my gifts were:

1. Young couple - very nice basic cookbook and monogrammed dish towels.
2. Nephew - I crocheted an afghan. (I looked thru the registry to determine their "colors."

I firmly believe it's the thought that counts.
It's not necessary to spend a fortune.

[Beckiet82]

I typically give $100-150. I buy off the registry for bridal showers only.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

$100 more if we are close.