Work-life balance

[riverwed070707]

I've been having some serious work burn out lately. My DH is a SAHD, and for the first time in our daughter's 5 years of life I'm really starting to feel like I'm missing out. While I could never SAH FT while DH worked (I'd get bored!) I can't help but brainstorm lately ways to improve my work-life balance.

I really love what I do. I feel forturnate to be able to say that as I know many people spend day in and day out doing something they don't enjoy. I should probably just be thankful and go on with the daily grind but what it really boils down to for me is that while I enjoy my work, I enjoy my family more and it feels backwards to spend all my time and energy working to come home and spend a few hours with them each night. I don't make a lot of money, but we live comfortably and are meeting all of our financial goals. I had the thought today that if DH and I split the burden and both took PT jobs we'd probably make slightly more than what I make alone now...how great would that be? Both working 20 hours a week, keep the same lifestyle and have more time with family, to travel, etc!

The other thing I dream of is packing up a couple suitcases and moving overseas to a LCOL, oceanside country where the moderage amount we have saved would stretch a lot further and by the time we retire, our current retirement would be more than enough to live well. DH is moderately on board with this plan, but our biggest struggle is schooling for DD since a lot of the places we'd like to go don't have a lot to offer in terms of international standard schooling.

Healthcare and benefits are of course a consideration in both of these scenarios as well. Its probably more of a dream but if the opportunity ever came up for either, I'd jump on it in a heartbeat. Anyone do anything like this? Why don't more single earner households split the work with two PT jobs?? Am I missing a major downside to this?

Between just booking plane tickets to Belize this week and being on the verge of a 4 day weekend, I think my brain has officially checked out til July 8.

[bjl584]

I think you hit the nail on the head why more people don't do this. Healthcare, and 401K eligibility.

That's probably what stops most people from doing it.

It may work in Canada, but in the States it would be hard to pull off.

[riverwed070707]

I think you hit the nail on the head why more people don't do this. Healthcare, and 401K eligibility.

That's probably what stops most people from doing it.

It may work in Canada, but in the States it would be hard to pull off.

Interesting. My work offers complete benefits to PT employees. Is that not common? They also still offer a retirement match, PTO, etc. I think the PTO is prorated based on the number of hours you work, but that seems fair. Probably need less time if you only work half time anyway.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Finding a job that pays well part-time at least for me and my DH. Plus bennies. We have talked about moving to a LCOLA in the US but my DH isn't keen on making the jump while he feels we are still able to earn a lot. His thought right now is keep earning while the going is good because what happens if he's downsized and forced out of the field?

[bjl584]

Interesting. My work offers complete benefits to PT employees. Is that not common? They also still offer a retirement match, PTO, etc. I think the PTO is prorated based on the number of hours you work, but that seems fair. Probably need less time if you only work half time anyway.

It's not all that common. Most part time work in my experience don't offer benefits. You may get vacation time, but healthcare or a 401K are usually not offered to part time employees.

[MonkeyMama]

My experience is that retirement benefits are generally offered same as long as you work 1000+ hours per year. (Admittedly, I work mostly with small businesses. Maybe bigger businesses get some benefit separating out part-time employees).

Anyway, I know a lot of people who do the 2-part-time job thing. I think most people don't because they are sheep, honestly. I have never had any health insurance benefits (through employer), and so that means absolutely nothing to me. All I have ever heard is endless complaints and whoas about our country's employer health system.

That said, switching to part-time at my current job would be a grim proposition. To work one less hour a week I would lose vacation, sick time, and a $2k-ish per year in reimbursements. (I would not lose any retirement benefits, as mentioned). Personally I think that is BS. When I had small kids, the greatest thing that gave me pause was the loss of sick time. But, that was from a sole breadwinner perspective. (I am sure I could find a better part-time job elsewhere. But this is an awesome full-time/flexibile position, so has seemed prudent to just stick with that).

I also always caution making rash decisions in these type situations. Won't your child be in school soon? At 6 my kids go to school about as many hours I am at work. At 10, they are developing a ton of friends and extra-curricular activities. In a few years they will be driving/working/off to college. At this point I don't see any benefit to working less (my kids are 8 & 10). I've found a full-time flexibile/low-key job to give me maybe a bit of more a "part-time" working experience. All this said, I would very likley switch to part-time if my own spouse were working (in any capacity). Simply because that income would be so much gravy. I'd maybe want to make sure it was a secure income, is all.

If I had to do it all over again, we probably would have done the two part-time thing. I think my spouse would have fared better early on with more adult/brain time, and I could have stood to work a little less when the kids were really small. I didn't meet all the part-time people until after having kids, and didn't think of that on our own. But, now that my kids are half grown, it's kind of "meh." IT would have been really nice ages 0-5, with the kids. Between my very supportive spouse and employer though, I don't feel I ever missed much working full-time. I definitely do not identify at all with the typical "working full-time" perceptions.

[riverwed070707]

My experience is that retirement benefits are generally offered same as long as you work 1000+ hours per year. (Admittedly, I work mostly with small businesses. Maybe bigger businesses get some benefit separating out part-time employees).

Anyway, I know a lot of people who do the 2-part-time job thing. I think most people don't because they are sheep, honestly. I have never had any health insurance benefits (through employer), and so that means absolutely nothing to me. All I have ever heard is endless complaints and whoas about our country's employer health system.

That said, switching to part-time at my current job would be a grim proposition. To work one less hour a week I would lose vacation, sick time, and a $2k-ish per year in reimbursements. (I would not lose any retirement benefits, as mentioned). Personally I think that is BS. When I had small kids, the greatest thing that gave me pause was the loss of sick time. But, that was from a sole breadwinner perspective. (I am sure I could find a better part-time job elsewhere. But this is an awesome full-time/flexibile position, so has seemed prudent to just stick with that).

I also always caution making rash decisions in these type situations. Won't your child be in school soon? At 6 my kids go to school about as many hours I am at work. At 10, they are developing a ton of friends and extra-curricular activities. In a few years they will be driving/working/off to college. At this point I don't see any benefit to working less (my kids are 8 & 10). I've found a full-time flexibile/low-key job to give me maybe a bit of more a "part-time" working experience. All this said, I would very likley switch to part-time if my own spouse were working (in any capacity). Simply because that income would be so much gravy. I'd maybe want to make sure it was a secure income, is all.

If I had to do it all over again, we probably would have done the two part-time thing. I think my spouse would have fared better early on with more adult/brain time, and I could have stood to work a little less when the kids were really small. I didn't meet all the part-time people until after having kids, and didn't think of that on our own. But, now that my kids are half grown, it's kind of "meh." IT would have been really nice ages 0-5, with the kids. Between my very supportive spouse and employer though, I don't feel I ever missed much working full-time. I definitely do not identify at all with the typical "working full-time" perceptions.

Glad you chimed in MM. I always appreciate your perspective because we have a similar situation with being the sole income and having a SAH DH. DD will start half day preschool in the fall, so you're right, come this time next year the time with her would be less regardless, but even working 32 hours a week and getting home at 3 p.m. when she's done with school seems like it would make a huge difference between getting home at 5:30 or 6. By the time I make dinner, its time to read her bedtime story and wind down. I also travel a lot for work, which I enjoy, but I'd really love more time to travel with my family. The last couple days I've been looking at opportunities in education to see if I could find a 9-month position where I'd work school hours and have summers off. Might be a stretch, and I have no idea how much of a paycut I should anticipate for that, but I figure it doesn't hurt to see whats out there!

Next step: convincing DH to start looking for PT work lol. He says he'll start looking when I get a serious offer... I think that's a bit late!

[snafu]

Is there any flexibility in your work hours? For example could you come in an hour earlier and leave an hour early? Could you work through lunch hour and leave earlier? Could you work 1.5 hrs longer daily and get every Monday or Friday off? Could you work at home or is your presence necessary 5 consecutive days?

Can meals and chores be prepared in advance so that you have an entire hour one-on-one with your DD to go to the park or for a walk or do Yoga together...whatever you feel appropriate. With two sons now in university, looking back long term, it was critical for both DH and I to spend as much time with them as teens and endless chauffeuring. Their favorite memories aren't trips to Disneyland, Washington, DC, visits with beloved grandparents...they tell stories about drives in blizzard conditions to swim lessons/competitions and the terror on my face when they were hurt while playing hockey.

What are your important memories growing up with your parents? What did you wish for?

[MonkeyMama]

Glad you chimed in MM. I always appreciate your perspective because we have a similar situation with being the sole income and having a SAH DH. DD will start half day preschool in the fall, so you're right, come this time next year the time with her would be less regardless, but even working 32 hours a week and getting home at 3 p.m. when she's done with school seems like it would make a huge difference between getting home at 5:30 or 6. By the time I make dinner, its time to read her bedtime story and wind down. I also travel a lot for work, which I enjoy, but I'd really love more time to travel with my family. The last couple days I've been looking at opportunities in education to see if I could find a 9-month position where I'd work school hours and have summers off. Might be a stretch, and I have no idea how much of a paycut I should anticipate for that, but I figure it doesn't hurt to see whats out there!

Next step: convincing DH to start looking for PT work lol. He says he'll start looking when I get a serious offer... I think that's a bit late!

I think there is also a lot to be said to small rejiggerings to schedule (which does not require full out switching to part-time).

Why isn't your spouse making dinner? That seems that would also be a big help to your time and quality time with children. (Just something to rethink).

I have always put a lot of weight on my childrens' sleeping schedule, as to my happiness as a working mom. Your comments reminded me. The kids like to wake up very early and stay up late. (Always have). If my kids went to bed at 7pm every night (like many) I would have an entirely different experience. But, if so, it would have been more important to me to work out an earlier shift. I just think it's important to think outside the box. Going part-time is kind of obvious, but maybe there is some other middle ground. (Like seeking out a 9-month schedule...) With my kids' schedule, we can have quality time in the morning and for many hours after work.

At this age I actually do make dinner one night a week; the kids alternate choosing a menu and helping me (er, more me helping them), so becomes a "quality time" thing versus just a chore. Just another way things change as kids get older. IT's entirely different when they are helpless little babies.

I suppose I just throw out as things to think about. I don't think going part-time is a bad thing, at all. So, not really trying to talk you out of it. Just, other thing to think about.

[~bs]

don't think it's a good idea. Assuming pay is equal, most times 1 full time job is better and has better benefits than 2 part time jobs.

Many employers do not pay a portion of medical costs for employees under 30 hours. 401k is sometimes disallowed or a longer preiod of time required to work for part timers. Part timers are also lower tier employees. First to get their hours cut, first to get fired.

[riverwed070707]

Is there any flexibility in your work hours? For example could you come in an hour earlier and leave an hour early? Could you work through lunch hour and leave earlier? Could you work 1.5 hrs longer daily and get every Monday or Friday off? Could you work at home or is your presence necessary 5 consecutive days?

Can meals and chores be prepared in advance so that you have an entire hour one-on-one with your DD to go to the park or for a walk or do Yoga together...whatever you feel appropriate. With two sons now in university, looking back long term, it was critical for both DH and I to spend as much time with them as teens and endless chauffeuring. Their favorite memories aren't trips to Disneyland, Washington, DC, visits with beloved grandparents...they tell stories about drives in blizzard conditions to swim lessons/competitions and the terror on my face when they were hurt while playing hockey.

What are your important memories growing up with your parents? What did you wish for?

No flexibility to change my work hours and I already work through lunch just to get the job done. My "normal" hours are 8-5 but I'm regularly in at 7:30 and leave at 5:30 or 6 -- later when its really busy. I have the flexibility to work at home to some extent (sick kid, out of town, etc) but its not something I could do full, or even part, time just because of the culture of our business.

I think there is also a lot to be said to small rejiggerings to schedule (which does not require full out switching to part-time).

Why isn't your spouse making dinner? That seems that would also be a big help to your time and quality time with children. (Just something to rethink).

I have always put a lot of weight on my childrens' sleeping schedule, as to my happiness as a working mom. Your comments reminded me. The kids like to wake up very early and stay up late. (Always have). If my kids went to bed at 7pm every night (like many) I would have an entirely different experience. But, if so, it would have been more important to me to work out an earlier shift. I just think it's important to think outside the box. Going part-time is kind of obvious, but maybe there is some other middle ground. (Like seeking out a 9-month schedule...) With my kids' schedule, we can have quality time in the morning and for many hours after work.

At this age I actually do make dinner one night a week; the kids alternate choosing a menu and helping me (er, more me helping them), so becomes a "quality time" thing versus just a chore. Just another way things change as kids get older. IT's entirely different when they are helpless little babies.

I suppose I just throw out as things to think about. I don't think going part-time is a bad thing, at all. So, not really trying to talk you out of it. Just, other thing to think about.

DH does help out with a lot of the household stuff, and he does make dinner once or twice a week, etc. I don't mean to imply that I'm carrying all the work load because I'm not.

DD is definitely a night owl. At age 4, she's usually up til 9 or 10 p.m. so we have that going for our schedule. I still feel like I'm not always part of her day to day.

I love all the practical advice I'm getting to my probably impractical ideas of a balanced lifestyle. One of the many reasons I love this community. Still doesn't change that I'd rather be home (or traveling the world) with my family than sitting at a desk all day, even if I do enjoy my desk job

[snafu]

Is it the culture of the organization that staff arrive early, work through lunch and remain working an extra hour daily? Is this a phenomenon resulting from the near economic collapse 2008-2010 or just normal op? Personally, I'd be looking for employment with another organization unless you get time off in lieu or a higher pay rate or a significant bonus or benefit that reflects 10+ extra hrs per week.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I wish that DH and I could swing two part-time jobs. That would be amazing. But I can't seem to get him on board.

[TBH]

We have each worked part time for years. Our DS is 9.

When our DS was born, our agreement was that we'd take turns. We couldn't survive on one full time income, so we agreed that one of us would work full time and the other would work part time, and after a couple years we'd try to switch so we'd both get the chance to be primary caregiver to our kid. I worked about 30 hours a week when our DS was a baby, and my spouse worked full time. When it was time to trade, he was able to keep his job and go down to half time by job-sharing with someone. I wasn't able to find a full time job that paid more than my two part time jobs, so I just increased my hours a bit at each job and that added up to full time.

Now he works 32 hours a week (Mon to Thurs, home on Fridays) and I have a very part time job working only about 5 hours a week, and the rest of the time I freelance from home.

It means that we work a lot of nights and weekends to catch up and honestly we both probably end up working full time hours most of the time even though we're technically part time. But it also means that one of us is home to meet the school bus every single day.

We have been able to do this because both of our employers offer pro-rated benefits to part-timers. So they cover a portion of our health insurance and we pay the rest. And we have workplace retirement accounts with employer match. We supplement with IRAs--a Roth for him and a SEP for my self-employed income.

Honestly, I think we'd be in a better place financially if we were both working full time. Of course we would. And probably we'd be in a better place financially if one of us had stuck with full time work and the other had just done part time. I think it does have a negative effect on your career to be committed to working part time.

But I do love the work-life balance thing. I can go along on my kid's field trips, keep our pets company during the day, do errands in the middle of the day, volunteer at the school, and so on.

There are part time jobs with benefits. They might be harder to find, but they're out there.

[riverwed070707]

Is it the culture of the organization that staff arrive early, work through lunch and remain working an extra hour daily? Is this a phenomenon resulting from the near economic collapse 2008-2010 or just normal op? Personally, I'd be looking for employment with another organization unless you get time off in lieu or a higher pay rate or a significant bonus or benefit that reflects 10+ extra hrs per week.

I'm non-exempt. Between the sometimes long hours, and getting paid OT for all of the travel I do outside of business hours, the extra pay makes it very worthwhile, and I also have the option of taking comp time for the extra hours I put in. I'm well taken care of here both in pay and benefits. Unfortunately, the trade off is that it does keep me from home quite a bit and I've recently come to realize that being a part of my daughters childhood is more important to me than climbing the corporate ladder.