children

[Thrif-t]

This is so true! The decision to have more than one kid stems from many more factors than finances. It's root is what kind of parent do you plan to be. If you are going to be your child's best friend and buddy and cater to all their needs, then yes, probably one is all you can afford financially and time wise. While I only had 2 kids, I grew up in a family of 5 and saw some of the 'tricks' that my mom used in raising us. The biggest one is that we all shared her attention, she expected us to entertain ourselves or she would find us chores to do, we were expected to help with housework, very limited TV viewing when we actually had a TV. My mom managed to can and freeze food, make most of my sister's, mine and my her clothes, etc. When I was raising my 2 I did daycare at home. I also expected kids to play, I did grownup things while keeping an eye on them. I remember seeing an ebay listing once for a very expensive sewing machine that a young lady was selling. Apparently since she had a toddler at home she didn't have any time to sew and so she was getting rid of the machine until the kid was older. I was stunned. I was a prolific sewer while the kids were little and I wasn't neglecting them either. If a mother can't take time out for her hobbies when she has a young one in the home, then that child is being given way to much attention or the mom is just making excuses and a toddler is a good one. Yes, I do understand that some children have special needs and I had one of those as well.

When I see so many kids today not able to do the simplest chores I know that no one was teaching them by example how to do things. Each generation of this nation's kids are getting dumber and dumber about practical matters of keeping a home and it is very sad to see. Does $5000 a year to play soccer really make up for not helping mom in the kitchen to learn how to make cookies, how to wash dishes, how to pull weeds out of a garden, and so on? I don't think so.

Just had to say I totally agree, great post.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I spend a lot of time with both my kids. I breastfeed and read books to my 2.5 year old at the same time. I read a lot period. But reading is my favorite hobby. We love going to the library. We spend a lot of time playing at the playground with friends.

Food is simple and my house is not clean. I try my best but it's not perfect. So cooking is often times in bulk. I think you can have a lot of kids and pay attention to them but something has to give. And I bet for a lot of people it's things like cooking and cleaning. I admit i use clothes out of a laundry basket and my place could use a good vaccum but it's life.

[moneybags]

Food is simple and my house is not clean. I try my best but it's not perfect. So cooking is often times in bulk. I think you can have a lot of kids and pay attention to them but something has to give. And I bet for a lot of people it's things like cooking and cleaning. I admit i use clothes out of a laundry basket and my place could use a good vaccum but it's life.

You are making the right choice. I don't think you will ever look back and say "I wish I had kept my house cleaner all those years". You're more likely to say "I wish I spent more time with my kids".

[NuggetBrain]

We are happily DINK and I don't see that changing in the future. I love kids, but have absolutely no desire to have one or to have the responsibility of one. We could win the Powerball and I still wouldn't have any kids.

[JoeP]

I was a prolific sewer while the kids were little and I wasn't neglecting them either.

It took me 3 solid reads of your post to figure out the word "sewer" meant one who sews, not a conduit for waste water.

[Redraidernurse]

We are happily DINK and I don't see that changing in the future. I love kids, but have absolutely no desire to have one or to have the responsibility of one. We could win the Powerball and I still wouldn't have any kids.

That's great that you recognize that. There are definitely people in this world who should NOT have kids.

[JoeP]

We are happily DINK and I don't see that changing in the future. I love kids, but have absolutely no desire to have one or to have the responsibility of one. We could win the Powerball and I still wouldn't have any kids.

Good to hear that more money will not be a "trigger" for you to have kids. For some, the desire to not have kids is as strong as the desire to have kids.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Me too. I think that people shouldn't have kids they don't want because it's "expected" or "pressured".

Also I am of the school of thought that kids do not need their own room. Nor do you have to be in a perfect financial situation to have kids. We don't own a house, we have a townhouse and it's small but we have two children. I stay at home because I choose to. If I worked we probably could afford to buy a SFH. But we choose not to.

Are we depriving our kids by not having the perfect financial situation? I don't think so. We have so much more than others. I know many people with less who are having kids and loving it. I think the most important thing is being willing to make sacrifices for your kids.

[JoeP]

Are we depriving our kids by not having the perfect financial situation? I don't think so. We have so much more than others. I know many people with less who are having kids and loving it. I think the most important thing is being willing to make sacrifices for your kids.

It is important to understand the definition of "sacrifices" based upon context.

If you have no kids and are looking at the sacrifices you think you'll need to make to have even one child (time, energy, money, freedom, toys, life adjustments) you could unknowingly be way off from reality, and be gun-shy about having kids at all.

On the other hand, some couples are ok with those kinds of sacrifices to bring a child into the world and support him or her. And on round two and further, the sacrifices are almost always less. In fact, we don't think in terms of sacrifice at all; it is our standard operating mode!

[susie michelle]

My husband and I started a family when we were very young (early 20s). At the same time, we were working on starting our own businesses. As you can imagine, this occasionally led to some stressful times. Now, 13 or so years later, we have three kids who are in school full time, so we have more time to work, and our businesses have developed to the point where we can be with our kids when they need us and we have flexibility.

Looking back on it, some of those years were difficult - and if I had planned it out, I'm not sure it would have made logical sense to do it the way we did it - but things work out as they do, and, of course, now we wouldn't have it any other way. I love my family life, the ages that my kids are, and the way that all of us are able to be content on very little.

[AUSGlobetrotter]

I have 4 children, and yes it is costly - but only if you make it so.
My children do not need designer clothing. They participate in alot of activities, but they are certainly not spoilt.
It's really what you make it,if that makes sense