High Maintenance?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I live where the average married age is probably like 35+ and first kids the norm is 38 to 40. Most women have post-graduate degrees and very successful careers. And most will tell you that they enjoyed life. Travelled, had fun, etc. And the ones still single? Truly single? Not living together and just not getting married but solo is different. I say that because I know a guy whose 35 and that way. He's very different from singles who are coupled up, people who "have a steady date." He's said it's different having just ended a relationship of 1 year recently.

And interestingly women who make a lot of money there is a difference between those who are interested in stuff and those who make a lot but just don't care. They may care how they look but they aren't necessarily buying $1500 jackets or $400 shoes. I can't explain the difference. Perhaps it's that people gravitate to each other if they like to spend a lot. So rich do date other rich people.

If you start out with nothing and have to pay off debt and spend years scrimping for 20% DP, college loans, cars, etc you may not be able to justify those expenses versus if you had no loans, tons of family money and could spend everything you ever made? How would that change your perspective and outlook?

[thekid]

I live where the average married age is probably like 35+ and first kids the norm is 38 to 40. Most women have post-graduate degrees and very successful careers. And most will tell you that they enjoyed life. Travelled, had fun, etc. And the ones still single? Truly single? Not living together and just not getting married but solo is different. I say that because I know a guy whose 35 and that way. He's very different from singles who are coupled up, people who "have a steady date." He's said it's different having just ended a relationship of 1 year recently.

And interestingly women who make a lot of money there is a difference between those who are interested in stuff and those who make a lot but just don't care. They may care how they look but they aren't necessarily buying $1500 jackets or $400 shoes. I can't explain the difference. Perhaps it's that people gravitate to each other if they like to spend a lot. So rich do date other rich people.

If you start out with nothing and have to pay off debt and spend years scrimping for 20% DP, college loans, cars, etc you may not be able to justify those expenses versus if you had no loans, tons of family money and could spend everything you ever made? How would that change your perspective and outlook?

Different experiences, different perspectives, I guess. I think basic personality traits and how you were raised will dictate your outlook on life moreso than your circumstances. I find that many "rich" people are actually quite low key. Many not so "rich" people are not so low key. Money can be seen as bringing flash or it can be seen as bringing security and freedom. My wife's parents are quite wealthy (successful small business owners). They lead very low key lives. My wife is a teacher that still saves a good chunk of her paycheck. I have a masters degree from Oxford University and started my career at one of the leading law firms in my country. Still, made a budget and kept track of all my spending. Our own net worth is quite healthy in our mid 30s, yet almost nobody knows of her parents or our finances. We live quite comfortably, but below the livestyle of many of our professional friends. We don't care for flash, in fact we dislike it. We consider ourselves quite lucky in life. More than anything, what we want out of money is security and freedom. For ourselves and our daughter. We want to build on what we have, our candy is the security we have and the freedom to most probably "retire" quite early if we so wish (as in move in to other business ventures, not sit idle) and, very importantly, teach our daughter to be level headed and to cheerish the opportunities she will likely be given and to in turn build upon it. There is very little flash, very little ego...more a sense of being blessed and wanting to earn and build. We know a number of people in very similar circumstances. People in very comfortable financial situations, working hard and raising their families in a very down to earth manner. We also know many well paid professionals, thinking they are rock stars and being in much less comfortable situations. I find the descriptions in the book "millionaire next door" to be quite acurate.

I think the same applies to dating. Down to earth people attract down to eath people. Flashy people attract flashy people. Not that linked to finances, mostly to personality.

[RedSilk]

Some people like throwing extravagant parties, some like to travel and others like to buy expensive clothes/shoes. Why does anyone care how someone else spends their money as long as they can afford to? Just because you don't think expensive shoes are important doesn't mean everyone else should feel the same way.