How do you resist keeping up with the Jones's?

[glock35ipsc]

The Jones are usually the rich people, doing everything they can to outdo the neighbors.

The Jones's are broke. The Jonse's are in debt up to their eyeballs with little to no savings. The Jonse's are average. The Jonse's are normal.

I like being weird.

[Coleroo]

I will admit I'd LOVE to have a huge house, a fancy(er) car, a room sized closet (filled with designer duds for me and hubby). I'd also love to take vacations around the world - see the pyramids, visit Italy, climb the eiffle tower, walk around Athens, and perhaps watch a bull fight or two in spain. I'd also LOVE to not "have" to think about money and budgeting. I'd LOVE for my husband not to have to leave us at 5:30 am every day and work his butt off for an hourly wage. Oh, I'd also love to have a $10,000 wedding band and a baby grand piano. Oh oh oh....and a 52 inch plasma TV (my 10 year old one just broke, so we had to bring my hubby's 10 year old one out of attic storage...lol).

But that's just it... These are just things I'd "love" to do and have because it would be fun and would just "add" to my life. But it's not something I let myself do. And it's not something that my happiness depends on.

We realized that, to us, debt is a form of slavery. As long as we have debt, we will never be free to live life as we want to. Also, when you have debt, most people end up making a mistake or life (medical accidents, layoffs) tends to get in the way of paying our creditors back - so then life becomes a living h*ll. I don't want to live like that. Stuff is just that.... STUFF. At the end of the day, the furs, huge mansion, vacations, etc, are not what truly makes us happy. They're just icing on the cake. The Joneses can eat all the icing they want, but if they do it BEFORE they can afford it, they're going to get one heck of a belly ache.

So, I guess the way WE resist keeping up with the joneses right now is by realizing how terrible the consequenses could be if we DID try to. We look into the future and see that in 10 years we'd rather have cash in the bank than to have a collection of "stuff" in storage....

[disneysteve]

There is something else to consider. I think I mentioned this earlier. Perhaps the Joneses CAN afford all they have. The problem is the folks trying to keep up with them can't.

Fact is some folks make a boatload of money. We have friends who live in what the average person would consider a mansion, a gorgeous custom home beautifully furnished and landscaped. Their kids attend a costly private school. They drive nice cars and take wonderful vacations. But they also make a ton of money. He works on Wall Street and his annual bonus is more than my wife and I earn all year. I can't say I'm not occasionally jealous of some things they have, but I realize that they have those things because they can afford them quite comfortably and we can not. Trying to keep up with them just wouldn't make any sense.

So don't keep assuming the Joneses are broke and in debt.

[Coleroo]

So don't keep assuming the Joneses are broke and in debt.

Right... the Joneses arent the broke ones. They're the real McCoy...lol. Its the ones who chase after the that get hurt.

[disneysteve]

Right... the Joneses arent the broke ones. They're the real McCoy...lol. Its the ones who chase after the that get hurt.

Exactly. People misinterpret the warning about keeping up with the Joneses. The people in trouble aren't the Joneses. They're doing just fine. The trouble is with the people trying to keep up.

Watching celebrities on TV who earn tens of millions each year and trying to mirror their lifestyle when you work a normal job is what gets people in trouble.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

The Joneses are real. I have a friend who inherited about $1m at 22. Real McCoy for sure don't you think?

Plus consider this, many people have family money or help from their parents. They just don't broadcast it around.

Even you. Your dad is considering "gifting" you a share of the house. You are the Joneses to people who get jack sqaut from their parents.

So who are you keeping up with? If anything many people are dying to be YOU!

[ScrimpAndSave]

Well, just like DisneySteve said earlier...there are always going to be people making more money.

I have friends that are buying gorgeous, new, huge, "McMansions" in our township...but I think it would be a better deal for me to buy my fathers house (with his help or not - we wouldn't pay closing costs and would save a little bit).

I look at the interior of the house and although it is functional, it is a little outdated...but I don't think it would be smart to renovate the entire house as newlyweds...there are just some things that I am going to have to live with.

As far as my fiance, he feels like since everything is in working order - clean and presentable, it would be stupid to update anything. He says we will never save money if I choose to update the house one room at a time.

It's in a great location in a great school district...but I will always wonder what it is like to buy a house that is $50,000-$75,000 more with all NEW everything.

:sigh:

[Gailete]

I have never had the urge to keep up with the Jones'. Even as a kid in school I didn't want the latest stuff. I remember at one point in Jr. High that there was a certain dress that was in style--at least 30 girls in the school had the same identical dress! The last thing I wanted was to be wearing that dress, even though at that point most of my clothes were homemade or hand me downs.

I've always been a bit of an oddball with my likes and dislikes and I don't care if I don't have what other people have. I am a sucker for top of the line sewing machines and there are some out now that I am drooling over and hoping that I can buy USED in about 8-10 years when the price has dropped to peanuts!

Gail

[Well Spent]

I've stopped watching TV. it's dying anyway but my roommates want to replace it for the NFL games. I find life more satisfying when I don't watch the privileged lifestyles depicted on those entertainment shows (E!, Entertainment Tonight, The Insider), the home shows on HGTV, etc.

I have a ton of books that have been sitting on bookshelves that I've been meaning to read for a few years now. I just graduated and am looking for a career job. In the little free time I have right now, I've begun reading a lot of those books.

Since school just ended, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my job, career, housing, and financial planning for the future. I think it helps so much to avoid the media. I stopped paying attention to the Media because it's so celebrity-focused. The $ disparity in the US is growing and I don't think it's going back.

A "want" I indulge in is my gym membership. It helps me maintain my health and fitness and work off stress that my finances and job situation are causing me right now.

[LuxLiving]

ScrimpAndSave, I'd like to update everything in my house all at once, like you'd like to buy new all at once, but remember if you buy everything all at once it all begins to fall apart at about the same time as well. And it's only new for a little while and just like when you buy a new blouse or new shoes, the 'fun' high of shopping for it soon fades.

[Aleta]

I think not having a steady diet of the reality shows and too much of the HGTV shows helps. I love HGTV, but some of the shows are so out of the norm for most people to relate to. I know this family that allows their kids to watch alot of the reality shows especially with the stars. Their communication is usually about how this rap star lives or what they drive.

I think staying away from TV helps alot. There are alot of great activities in your own city to do in place of TV.

I personally try not to buddy around with people who spend money like there's no tomorrow. I associate with them, I don't buddy around with them.

Also buying an older home can be a structure that has some history as opposed to buying a new home that could have alot of problems. So, although the above poster has people buying McMansions doesn't mean a whole lot. You wouldn't want to have their mortgage payments. Houses can be updated and modernized.

[disneysteve]

remember if you buy everything all at once it all begins to fall apart at about the same time as well. And it's only new for a little while and just like when you buy a new blouse or new shoes, the 'fun' high of shopping for it soon fades.

Also buying an older home can be a structure that has some history as opposed to buying a new home that could have alot of problems.

Both good points that I've seen first-hand. We bought a 30-year old home. Some of it had been updated and renovated. Some hadn't. Since buying, we've replaced the roof, the siding, the windows, a couple of the doors, the central air, the heater, the hot water heater, the dishwasher, the washer and dryer, some of the carpeting, painted a few rooms and more. It wasn't all done at once because it didn't need to all be done at once (nor could we have afforded to do it all at once). This way, we did it on our schedule and our budget and periodically got to bask in the newness of some aspect of the house until the thrill wore off. When everything is new at once, once the novelty wears off, that's it for years most likely.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Scrimp just appreciate that you have a lot. It's the only way honestly I get through is we are the Joneses to people worse off than us. And I pray I never get to where they are.

[disneysteve]

we are the Joneses to people worse off

That really is a great way to look at it. There will always be people who earn more than you, but there will also always be people who earn less.

Happiness is being satisfied with what you've got.

Be happy that you have a job, a home, your health and all that you truly need to live. There are plenty of people who can't say that. Travel through some poor areas of the country or other countries and you'll appreciate how privileged you truly are. We try our best to make that clear to our daughter, though it is quite difficult while living a nice suburban life. But when we've taken her to the Dominican Republic or Mexico and shown her how others live, we've certainly made it a teaching point to show that even though she may not get everything she wants or everything her friends have, she is wealthy compared to so many others.

[Aleta]

Most of us in this country have some of the same basic things that the Jones' have. Even if I were to compare what I have to someone who is rich by most standards; I could find a lot of the same kinds of things in my own life. The person with means might have a great swimming pool, but I could go out and buy an above ground pool. It might not be as large but it is a pool. The richer person has a house; so do I. They have a car; so do I. We all basically have the same kind of things in life. They are just different or smaller. I have always felt like this. Its not where you live but how you live that counts. That list above could go on and on. It could be TV's, games, vacations or whatever you can think of.