Divorce

[FrugalIII]

My wife just told me she wants a divorce. We have been married 5 years. In that time we have never had joint credit cards or a joint loan. We have never pooled our money other than the bare minimum required for household bills. We have no joint savings or investments. We have each kept our extra money for ourselves. To my knowledge she has no credit/loan debt. But, if she does do you think I'll be required to help pay it off even though it is not jointly owned?

[cschin4]

Possibly, Depends on the laws of your state.

[vsjhoc]

My wife just told me she wants a divorce. We have been married 5 years. In that time we have never had joint credit cards or a joint loan. We have never pooled our money other than the bare minimum required for household bills. We have no joint savings or investments. We have each kept our extra money for ourselves. To my knowledge she has no credit/loan debt. But, if she does do you think I'll be required to help pay it off even though it is not jointly owned?

So sorry to hear of your troubles.

You will need to contact a lawyer. I *believe* that Delaware is not a community property state, so you *shouldn't* get stuck with her debts. But as another poster said, it depends on the divorce laws of the state. And the judge's mood that day.

Best of luck, and I hope the road isn't too rocky.

[Ima saver]

I am so sorry!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Consult a lawyer and cancel all joint checking and CC immediately. Get one solo card and make sure everything that is joint is frozen.

[FrugalIII]

Actually we have no joint credit cards. The joint checking/savings accounts have a total of $15.00 in them. We quit using the joint accounts years ago because she was spending the bill money. She may or may not have credit cards but they are not joint and my name is not connected with them at all. The only debt we have in both names is a car payment. I just want to know if I'll be responsible for paying off her debt that is not in my name. I don't mind paying the car loan because that is debt we agreed on.

[Coleroo]

aww!


One thing to consider - is any household bill / utility / cell phone accounts in joint names? I work in the telecommunications industry - if she runs up a cell phone bill, it can come back to haunt you on your credit record if your name is attatched to it. The same with any utilities, because they do report non payment to the bureaus.

[vsjhoc]

If you haven't already done so, get copies of your 3 credit reports. It will show if there is joint liability on anything that is reported there (although not some debts or utilities, as coleroo pointed out, which may be joint but may not report to credit bureaus).

Whose name is the car loan in? It doesn't matter to the car finance companies what the two of you agree; it matters who signed the note.

To answer your question, I think we're saying no (you're not liable for debts solely in her name), but you need to ask a Delaware divorce lawyer to get a definitive answer. I wouldn't rely on online advice on any legal matter.

[FrugalIII]

The car loan is in both names and I have already agreed to continue making the payments until the note is satisfied. My credit rating is very important and I will not do anything to jeopardize it. The cell phone bill is in my name and she agreed to pay that by giving me a check each month for the bill. Otherwise I'll pay it and cancel the phones. All utilities are in my name only too. I bought the house 9 years ago, 4 years before we were married. She convinced me a year ago to have her name put on the deed to expedite things if I should suddenly die. In good faith I did so. So I may owe her some equity although there isn't much. I know that was a dumb thing to do but I thought we'd be together forever. As I said before, we have kept all our finances separate. We took the monthly expenses divided by our combined income, converted that to a percentage and each paid that amount. We put no other money together the whole time we were married. I'm just worried that she has racked up credit/loan bills that I don't know about. She says no, but I don't trust her now.

[FrugalIII]

Anybody? Suggestions?

[TBH]

FrugalIII, what a rotten situation to be in. It sounds like you're in good shape for the bills, etc. I think you need to follow the major piece of advice given here--get a lawyer.

[neatdesign]

First, I agree that a lot will depend on the laws in your state (community property and all that). But you don't really say if this divorce is amicable or not. If it is -- that is, you are mutually agreeing to end the marriage and simply go your separate ways, with open and honest communication between you and no animosity -- it's possible that you don't actually need a lawyer.

My first husband and I divorced after 4½ years of marriage (we were HS sweethearts, together a total of 12 years). When we decided to split up, the feeling was mutual and we both wanted to work together to get the fairest outcome for both of us. Unlike you, we had a joint bank account, which we split 50/50 down the middle. He got one car and I got the other; since he was earning more than I was, I got the one with the smaller payments. It took us 20 minutes tops to go through the house and decide who was getting what. (We rented, so I admit it would have been more complicated had we owned a home together.) He helped move my stuff out and paid for my storage until I found a permanent place to live. He also kept me on his health insurance until I secured my own.

In short, ours was a very simply divorce, no lawyers involved at all. So, it can be done. But both people must be willing to be completely honest and fair to the other. Unfortunately most people don't have this experience.

~ Jenney

[FrugalIII]

Well, it's sort of amicable. But yesterday I find out accidently that she's cheating on me with a guy she works with. So, that really makes sense of all this. She comes home one day and says she's moving out. We've had our problems but no more than other couples. And, she wants to take me to the cleaners financially. Go figure!

[LuxLiving]

Can you work to save the marriage?

[neatdesign]

And, she wants to take me to the cleaners financially.

Well, then I definitely wouldn't say your split is amicable. In fact, just the opposite. That being the case, I echo the others' recommendations to consult an attorney.

~ Jenney