Divorce

[BCHGRL]

I wouldn't be amicable in that situation!

[Kate Ann]

So sorry

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Divorce is so devastating. Mine is finally final. I'm glad for that.

1). Definitely get an attorney.
2). If she has accounts in just her name and social, there's really no way for the collectors to come after you. (My ex didn't pay towards his cc's for at least a year that I know of, but they never called me since my name and social weren't connected). But, if the judge says you have to help pay it off, then she can wave that decree in your face....not sure how they can enforce it though (well, they can garnish your wages, but if she signed up in her name alone, the creditors would have to be given your info).
3). In the divorce papers, maybe ask your attorney to include language to the effect that all debts outside of the car payment are to each his own. If she signs that, then you're good.

Best of luck to you.

[Scanner]

What are your assets as a couple?

Just $15.00 in a checking account and living month to month with both of you working?

I am not sure what representation would do for you other than if she's making an alimony demand. If she is, then yes, get representation.

You said, "We kept extra money for ourselves but we have no investments."

What does that mean?

You can't hide anything - either of you - all assets and liabilities have to come out on the table, lawyer or no lawyer.

[FrugalIII]

What I mean is we have no "joint" investments, savings etc. No joint debt other than a auto payment. Everything is in either my name or hers alone. Yes, push come to shove it can all be split somehow. We pooled just enough monthly to meet our expenses. Each of us kept the balance of our income for ourselves to save or invest as we choose. She chose not to do either. She has no money whatsoever saved or invested for retirement. Me, on the other hand, saved every penny I could. I have a considerable portfolio of stocks/bonds/IRAs etc. I also have over $25k in a 5% savings acct. for emergency use. Again, she has not bothered to save one red cent, but now wants a portion of what I put away.
Since I first wrote though, a separation/property division agreement has been signed and submitted. She pays all her debt, me mine (I have none). I have to give her a lump sum payment, pay for her car for the next 4 years and she leaves all my investments and pension alone and I keep the house. Relatively good deal I suppose, all things considered. So far anyway. The divorce won't be final for another 4 months or so.

[Scanner]

What I mean is we have no "joint" investments, savings etc. No joint debt other than a auto payment. Everything is in either my name or hers alone.

Unless there was a prenuptial otherwise, it's my understanding it doesn't matter if everything is in your name, everything is in her name, or everything in both name.

As a partnership, you both share assets and liability.

I am not a lawyer - this is why now as I learn more you should consult one.

Yes, push come to shove it can all be split somehow. We pooled just enough monthly to meet our expenses. Each of us kept the balance of our income for ourselves to save or invest as we choose. She chose not to do either. She has no money whatsoever saved or invested for retirement. Me, on the other hand, saved every penny I could. I have a considerable portfolio of stocks/bonds/IRAs etc.

Here's the thing and it's a bitter pill to swallow - but your use of the word "I have" will be changed to "You have" by the courts.

Even if you worked 70 hours/week and she stayed home a kept woman, it's usually the courts opinion that she held her end of the partnership by caring for the house/raising kids/whatever.

She could argue, "I could have been a brain surgeon if I didn't have to stay home raising his children!!!" And she'd have a legal point. It's called "lost opportunity."

You see the other sides point and why usually the State doesn't want to get in the middle of it?

I also have over $25k in a 5% savings acct. for emergency use. Again, she has not bothered to save one red cent, but now wants a portion of what I put away.

And she may be entitled to it.

Since I first wrote though, a separation/property division agreement has been signed and submitted. She pays all her debt, me mine (I have none). I have to give her a lump sum payment, pay for her car for the next 4 years and she leaves all my investments and pension alone and I keep the house. Relatively good deal I suppose, all things considered. So far anyway. The divorce won't be final for another 4 months or so.

Divorces, from what I can see, are never good. If you can't get out of it with little skin off your back, you are doing well.

You sound like you have a good deal and let her squander it after you divorce.

[Saving in So Cal]

Is there any way you can just pay off her car and be done with it. Other than that, it sounds like you've made as clean a financial break as you can. As long as you are still making payments on the car, you are still connected to her and unexpected problems can arise. For instance, what happens when she wants to buy a new car a year or two?

Also, while the property settlement, once approved, will be binding on you and your ex-wife, it will not necessarily be binding on third parties. This means, depending on the laws of your state, it may still be possible for her debtors to come after you for debts incurred during the marriage. Whether a debtor can do this usually depends on what the debts were incurred for. The more necessary the expense, the more likely the debtor will have some sort of recourse against you if your ex-wife defaults. It sounds like your wife's spending was of the frivolous type, so this risk may not be very great in your case. Also, short of paying off her debts (which is hopefully what she'll do with the lump sum), I don't know that this risk is completely avoidable.

[FrugalIII]

The way the separation agreement is written, the auto stays in both names until the loan is paid off. She is responsible for the insurance and maintenance. If she decides to trade early, the loan will be satisfied with the trade and I'm off the hook. If I were to get a loan and pay the auto off, I'd be paying the full amount plus. I'm hedging a bet that she trades before the end of the 4 years. She has always liked to trade every two or three years. We've had the auto 2 years already. My bet is that she'll take the lump sum and it'll be gone within 6 months to a year and she'll have absolutely nothing to show for it. Heck, two years ago she cashed in a 401k and spent the money on who knows what. I didn't know about it until we had to pay taxes on it later that year. And, you are right. Nothing she bought with her credit cards amounted to much other than clothes and stuff for her kids. Nothing for me that I know of or for the house.