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10 reason to get married

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  • #46
    Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
    PP, I'm telling you it's the kids that ruin it. I have friends who are at home, the biggest problem is co-sleeping children. Where the kids stay in the bed till like age 3-5! Then there is like no sex for 3-5 years! That's what ruins it.

    Thus my DH has already banned kids from our bed. I thought cosleeping might be cool, but I do worry about the sex thing.
    Co sleeping is fine when a kid has to nurse every couple hours, but after that, I vote ban em too...I like my bed for better things than cuddling kids

    Not that I always get what I want. Last kid didn't sleep through the night till he was 2! And for a week my 5 year old has popped in after 'yucky dreams' every night!

    Ah well, it wont last long, but my marriage will.

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    • #47
      LOL, perhaps I'll ban them from the bed. I know our neighbors are desperate to get their 3 year old out of their bed.
      LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Well Spent View Post
        That's terrible, Jim. I feel sorry for you. Maybe it will get better for you when your twins get a bit older.

        I think marriage is for parents who are raising kids together and for elderly people to have companionship.

        I don't think adults should lock themselves into a contract with huge penalties if you ever want out. I like freedom and keeping my options open. I waited so long to become an adult and do whatever I want whenever I want. I see no reason to limit myself.
        College was real good to me, what can I say...
        and maybe this speaks more about the women than it does about the men?

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        • #49
          Originally posted by LivingAlmostLarge View Post
          PP, I'm telling you it's the kids that ruin it. I have friends who are at home, the biggest problem is co-sleeping children. Where the kids stay in the bed till like age 3-5! Then there is like no sex for 3-5 years! That's what ruins it.

          Thus my DH has already banned kids from our bed. I thought cosleeping might be cool, but I do worry about the sex thing.
          Kids are only in bed from 5am to when dad wakes up in the am. My kids have a 4-6am feed (varies by day) and usually eat 3/4 asleep (even though they "woke" up), take a full bottle, then sleep for another 4 hours. Of course if one kid wakes up we usually feed both so they stay on same schedule.

          If they don't go back to sleep, dad does. I either lay on the floor with bean bag as my pillow, or take the kid to bed with me (wife is already asleep). As long as kid is not crying they can sleep for 4 hours in bed with parents, that is it.

          It does humor me that kid will be 3/4 asleep while eating, but once bottle is out at 4:30 am they think it is time to play with all the toys.

          LOL

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          • #50
            The Amby Sleeper is a good alternative to having infants co-sleep. We're looking at that for when we have babies.

            I like to do the grown thing. No kids in the bed.

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            • #51
              Gosh from marriage to cosleep.
              LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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              • #52
                because you love your wife and want to tighten the knote

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                • #53
                  LOVE


                  (5 characters)

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                  • #54
                    I'm guessing this question was posed specifically for legal marriage and not common law arrangements. I don't see many benefits in marriage, especially when common-law relationships enjoy the same spousal tax benefits that a married couple would in my area of residence. My partner and I have no religious affiliation and we view marriage as nothing more than a civil union. I could also understand marriage if you're planning on having children, but again, we're both completely adverse to that idea. Also, the idea of going through the marriage process - the overwhelming experience - being the centre of attention and the subsequent anxiety and the financial burden of putting it together terrifies me.
                    Last edited by Johnstone; 01-24-2009, 08:56 AM.

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                    • #55
                      I just had to add there is nothing religious about our marriage. & I have come across many people who don't understand that. (That you can marry without the church!) Probably wouldn't recognize our marriage, though the state would, which is all that is important to us.

                      Originally posted by PrincessPerky View Post
                      I wonder about that whole theory of no sex after marriage.

                      I personally would like statistics on families with single income vs two incomes.... in our circle having one parent home (male or female) is a sure fire way to have frequent sex. (and friends who went from two working parents to one often came to us knowing why we keep having kids....modern BC is recommended)
                      My experience is different. IF the marriage is good and one person is home, the sex if more plentiful. BUT most people I know with a single income have more marital issues and less sex. The ones with less marital issues and more sex are definitely more relaxed, less stressed, and have more time. Which is probably what you notice. There is certainly something to that. But I know very few in that boat! But yeah, I had never thought about it before. Could be interesting statistics.

                      Anyway, I thought statistically married people had more sex (by virtue of a regular partner anyway).

                      Marriage hasn't changed anything here. Kids certainly have. But that is such a short period of time... It's hard when they are babies (& you are terrified to get pregnant again when you have an infant and no sleep, etc.). But that doesn't last long. DisneySteve's insight with an older kid is interesting. We will enjoy the in-between stage. But you know, before you know it they move out. Kids are certainly trying on a marriage. But hopefully the marriage lasts much longer than the kids getting in the way does!

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by MonkeyMama View Post
                        Anyway, I thought statistically married people had more sex (by virtue of a regular partner anyway).
                        I went looking for some stats prolly opened myself up for loads of scary pop ups, but I found some interesting info out:

                        As of 2000, the most common household type in the U.S. is people living alone. 27 million American households consist of a person living alone, compared to 25 million households with a husband, wife, and child.

                        That would speak more to the kicking the kid out thread..didn't know how many single folk there were...more here

                        as to sex

                        At first it seems alarming Americans are having less of it,unless all those single folk up there are not having any, then those married folk have to be REALLY busy to bring the average up. OR vice versa, I was just thinking all the info on safe sex and all might be pointing people to waiting for monogamous relationships..

                        2001stats Americans were low on the frequency list in 2003 at 118 times per year.

                        2007 stats Americans have sex just 85 times a year

                        But then the global average seems to have gone from 127 to 103. (and America topped the charts in 2001 at 132 times)

                        To the original question of marriage vs single (though not on how many incomes they have) From the about link:

                        Married couples make love 98 times per year.
                        Single folks are having sex the least at 49 times a year.


                        so there you have it from an old site..though I have trouble reconciling the math and too lazy to hunt their source.

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                        • #57
                          Hmmm....what the differential between single guys and gals having sex?
                          LivingAlmostLarge Blog

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                          • #58
                            Insurance... Maybe your coverage sucks

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