Relationships

Can Setting a 2019 Budget Save Your Relationship?

December 24, 2018 By Amanda Stewart 1 Comment

There is always a huge influx of unsolicited advice when you enter the new year (or a new relationship). Fifty-three percent of Americans making resolutions for 2019 are focusing on their personal finances. The first step to improving your finances is setting a budget and, believe it or not, it may have a positive benefit on your relationship as well.

How a Budget Can Save Your Marriage

Talking about your finances can have a huge impact on your relationship. In fact, for 100 percent of marriages money is a necessity every day. Reviewing your finances, going over your budget, and making sure you have enough money, are all key to having a successful relationship.

Having both parties involved in your budget will increase accountability, and it will force you to work together on something. Budgeting can also be humbling and provides some sense of accomplishment, all while cutting down the number of surprises you encounter when it comes to money.

Any type of financial strain can (and will) put additional stress on your relationship. So, how do you start the discussion?

Budgeting for 2019

As you’re wrapping up 2018, you may be looking for ways to improve your marriage or relationship in the new year. Sitting down and talking about your finances is a great way to get started. An estimated 70 percent of couples fight about their finances. The talking points below may help you ease into the discussion and get a better grasp on the finances in your home.

Start budgeting for regular expenses (i.e., taxes, bills, etc.). Go over what your budget is going to look like month-to-month. Doing this can give you both a good idea of how much you’ll be able to save as well as a good snapshot of where your money is going.
Budget large one-time expenses. If you’re planning a vacation, a wedding, or some other big expense, plan for it before the new year starts. You’ll want to budget out your savings for the event.
Find something you can trim from your budget. Sit down together and find something you can save money on together. This will make you both feel accomplished and it will make you both feel like you are contributing to your finances. Not only that but you can take the cash and put it into savings.
Talk about debt. If you and your significant other hold any debt, you need to talk about it and establish a way to pay it down (or off completely). Paying off your debt will make all of your other finances fall into place so much easier.
Discuss your long-term goals. What kind of vision do you have for your lives in the next 12 months? Where do you want to be this time next year? What about this time five years from now? Be sure every change you are making lines up with your financial goals.

Minimizing the amount you fight about finances in the new year will free up plenty of time to focus on what is most important: each other.

Readers, do you go over your budget with your significant other? How has it impacted your relationship?

How Much Debt Repels Daters?

May 10, 2018 By Jeff Hoyt Leave a Comment

New Survey Shows Average Amounts That Turn Off Suitors

Which is the worst first-date mistake – talking about an ex, eating food off your date’s plate, or mentioning that you are heavily in debt?

We have no idea, but we’re guessing that a second date is unlikely in all those cases. A new survey from Finder.com suggests that in the case of excessive debt, you may not get to the first date at all.

Over 70% of respondents found debt unacceptable when choosing a partner, even when distilling down into different types of debt.

Few Debt Free

However, while debt may be unattractive, very few of us are completely debt-free.

As of December 2017, the Federal Reserve shows $3.84 trillion of total consumer debt in America, with $1.027 trillion of that as revolving (mostly credit card) debt.

Chances are, you carry a small slice of that $3.82 trillion debt, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a lonely existence. Where is the line between acceptable versus unacceptable debt, and does it matter what type of debt you owe?

Debt Is a Turn-Off

Topping the list is excessive credit card debt, a turn-off for over 77.55% of survey respondents.

According to the Finder.com survey, the average credit card debt level that will cause a potential date to walk away is $11,525.

Although telling a first date that you’re only $11,524 in debt will probably cause them to stop returning your calls as well.

Payday Loans

Payday loans came in a close second in the unattractive debt derby at 77.35%, with only $1,830 required to repel a date.

Given the high interest rates associated with payday loans, it’s surprising that payday loans do not top the list.

The presence of a payday loan at all suggests a lack of alternatives and, in turn, questionable financial choices.

Investment Type Debts

Debts that are considered investments, such as student loan or mortgage debt, do not fare much better.

Student loans received a 76.20% disapproval rating, with an average of $51,000 as the cutoff level for unacceptable debt.

Almost 73% of respondents found mortgage debt unacceptable, with an average debt of $305,745 enough to make a prospective partner think twice.

Business Loans

At least some credit is given to the job creators. The most acceptable variety of debt for daters was a business loan, with a disapproval rating of just under 71% and an average level of $153,166 raising a red flag.

The Finder.com survey finds little difference between the sexes on debt tolerance. Men and women show the same disapproval rating to within a percentage point for most varieties of debt.

The one exception is debt to family and friends, which women find more unacceptable by over three percentage points.

Generational Issues

How about generational tolerance? Baby boomers are most repelled by credit card debt while Millennials are least tolerant of student loan debt – understandable since many Millennials are still dealing with theirs.

Generation X is the most tolerant of all forms of debt, with disapproval ratings consistently 3-8 percentage points lower than the other generations.

What’s the bottom line? Relatively high levels of any particular type of debt raise red flags for potential partners, and it’s up to you to explain the circumstances and overcome those red flags with your other attributes.

Not Necessarily a Deal Breaker

Debt is not necessarily a deal-breaker in a relationship, but it’s important for that debt to be in the right context – a moderate amount, borrowed for a good reason, and with a solid plan to pay it back.

It’s also important for you to be upfront about your debt with your potential partner.

Debt may be a negative to overcome, but lying about your debt is almost certain to end a relationship. The truth will eventually come out.

This article was provided by our partners at moneytips.com. Photo ©iStockphoto.com/PeopleImages

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Costco Roses Are Red, Are They Cheaper Too?

February 5, 2018 By Jackie Cohen Leave a Comment

Roses are red, sometimes a $1 apiece. You just have to buy more than a dozen to get them that cheap.

The smallest lot you can buy to score that price per flower appears to have jumped from Costco to ProFlowers — although once you pay the florist’s shipping and handling, it’s not as cheap as what the warehouse retailer charges.

ProFlowers sells a dozen red roses for $15.99, and no vase included.

Not Cheaper at ProFlowers

ProFlowers proclaims that the the price was slashed from $29.99, but the savings vanish as soon as you click on checkout, where you see delivery costs $12.99 and you have to pay another $2.99 in handling.

And such is the state of the supposed savings on two dozen red roses in a vase, which at first look like they’ve been slashed to $23.99 from $39.99 — until you click on checkout.

Plus, with all of the ProFlowers offerings, you might get wheedled out of even more money if you fall for any of the add-ons, starting with a choice of three different vase upgrades for $3.99 to $7.99.

Sweet Temptations

Then there’s sweets like dipped strawberries — half a dozen for $15.99 (down from $24.99) and a dozen for $23.98 (down from $34.98); nine cake truffles for $19.99 (down from $24.99); nine cheesecake bites for $23.99 (down from $29.99); gourmet chocolates for $11.99; a spa set for $7.99; a teddy bear for $7.99; a paper card for $1.59 and an electronic card for $1.03.

Assuming the shipping and handling situation hasn’t completely put you off of ProFlowers, you might want to instead consider the dozen red roses in the form of a potted rosebush for $19.99 — or multicolor arrangements of roses for $18, but these don’t come in rosebush format, meaning they won’t last as long.

Costco Roses

Still, you might consider ProFlowers’ offerings more convenient than the bulk lot requirement to save money at Costco: 50 roses for $49.99, and no vase. Yet you’re saddled with more than four times what the typical flower vase can hold.

If you happen to have four sweeties, or can you talk any of your friends into going in on a deal with you and splitting up the flowers, then the deal is still cheap.

Interestingly, Costco’s deal doesn’t require a membership for purchase, and it includes shipping and handling.

This is only available through Costco’s website and by phone, said Daniel Hidalgo, a customer service agent in Costco’s Miami call center who confirmed other details of the offer.

Yes, But Are They Fresh?

Hidalgo explained that the super low price for the roses was negotiated through a bulk deal with a flower warehouse located in Colombia — as in the South American country.

The low price during the time of year when roses are most in demand might make you wonder whether the flowers might wilt faster than what’s available through other florists — but remember that the deal with Costco gives you a lot more flowers than you might want to give to any single person on Valentine’s Day.

Although giving your partner 50 roses certainly gives the message that you really love her or him — it pretty much requires either an oversized vase or multiple vases to hold all the flowers.

Buy in a Group

Unless you can go in on the purchase with other people and divvy up the flowers among yourselves, you wind up spending more than you otherwise would.

Take a look at prices of red roses elsewhere and you see that a dozen technically costs more per flower everywhere else, but consider that you’re getting with that higher price a bit of added convenience — like not putting yourself or your partner at risk of cutting a finger on the thorns, since the roses come without a vase, in two bunches of 25 all within a single box.

FTD is offering a dozen roses without a vase for $19.99; add a vase and the price rises to $29.99; make it a dozen and a half with a vase for $49.99; two dozen in a vase is $59.99, and if you put that in the deluxe package you also get cookies and a heart-shaped metal heart and key for $109.

Meanwhile, eFlowers is selling a dozen red roses for $59.99, down from $64.99. Interestingly, the site is also upselling supposedly higher quality arrangements at $69.99 for a dozen, down from $74.99, and $79.99, down from $84.99 — without specifying what makes either of the two better than the lowest priced of the three, which is still more expensive than what many others are promoting online.

Different Combinations

Meanwhile another seller, Global Rose Network, prices a dozen red roses for delivery on February 14 at $51, but gives you the option to vary the delivery date, size of the assortment and color of the roses to move the price up or down. The promotion claims that you can buy as little as one rose or as many as 100, but then says the minimum order value needs to be $38.

As of this writing, 1-800-Flowers sells a dozen red roses without a vase for $39.99, along with multicolored assortment for $29.99 — offering as add-ons a vase, chocolate, and balloons and teddy bear that all together would bring the price up to $59.99.

Prestige Flowers was offering a dozen roses in an assortment including eucalyptus and baby’s breath, with free chocolate truffles and delivery in the U.K. for $44.66 (based on exchange rates the day of this writing). The company charges more for longer-distance shipments and also upsells an assortment of add-ons.

How Big Are the Roses?

Teleflora offers a dozen roses in a vase for $67.96 plus a deluxe version for $84.96 and premium for $101.96 — each uptick is successively wider and larger.

Add-ons include mylar balloons ($4.99 for one, $9.99 for two, and $14.99 for three) and up to three per order; stuffed animals ($9.99 for a small one, $19.99 for a medium, and $29.99 for large) and chocolates ($9.99 for a small box, $19.99 for a medium, and $29.99 for large).

Plenty of other florists also offer lots of 50 red roses, only for higher prices than Costco. From You Flowers puts them in a vase for $134, not including the aforementioned add-ons that would put up to another $24.97 on the total.

Apple Yard delivers 50 red roses within London for $118.42, based on exchange rates the day of this writing. and 200 roses for $432.66.

Order Early

If you decide to order the red roses from Costco, do it by noon Eastern Standard Time on February 10 if you want the flowers to arrive by Valentine’s Day — although it’s possible the offer might sell out before then, so it’s not a bad idea to order as soon as possible.

In fact, it’s probably a good idea to order early wherever you decide to buy from. Once the lower-priced offerings sell out, you might expect the others to follow suit, while remaining inventory elsewhere could climb in price as the big day approaches.

That’s a good reason to look into other types of flowers for Valentine’s Day, although that wouldn’t send quite the same message.

Readers, what, if anything, are you planning to do for Valentine’s Day?

Ways Friendships Can Affect Your Health

January 9, 2016 By Amanda Stewart 2 Comments

Is the concept of “friendship” in trouble? We hope not, because it turns out they are key to a long and healthy life.

Friendship is an important part of everyone’s life. Most Americans (about 98 percent) say that they have at least one good friend, and the average number of friends each person has is nine. So, it seems, friends really may make the world go round. However, just 25 years ago, people were reporting that they had 10 friends on average. The number of close friends has fallen as well.

Increases in social isolation would be pretty bad for Americans, who have already isolated themselves with technology. As it turns out, friendships may also have a significant impact on your health. Let’s take a look at a few reasons why.

Friends can actually help extend your life. You are less likely to die prematurely if you have a good group of friends than if you are isolated. Social ties like this impact life expectancy more than exercising or quitting smoking. The main reason for this is that the number of friendships you have are linked to the body’s way of processing stress. Social isolation can increase stress and cause some significant wear and tear on your body.

Friends make you healthier overall. This statement sounds kind of weird, but it is true. Looking at studies over a period of time, researchers have found that people who are socially isolated are more likely to be sick often or have chronic illness.

Friends help your mental health. Friends oftentimes make you feel like you belong with them, and that may be key for mental health. Older people with dementia often see an increase in symptoms when feelings of loneliness increase. This led researchers to believe that a lack of social attachments increases cognitive decline.

Friends are good (or bad) influences. Many headlines and news stories have alerted people that “obesity is contagious.” If your friends gain weight, it is likely you will also gain weight, but this is also true of losing weight, or being thin. Your friends influence you more than you know, for better or for worse.

Friends are great support systems. When you are going through hard times, you can usually lean on your best friend. Research has shown this has also worked in helping cancer patients to pull through treatment. Support groups and friendships may not extend the life of people going through hard times (mentally and physically), but it will improve their quality of life.

Friends can help you cope. We’ve all seen relationships that go badly, but friends can help you get through the rejection. They can also help you pick up the pieces and cope with your feelings. They are people you can lean on, always.

Friends can be there forever. Lifelong friends are a real concept. Even when people move away for work or school, friendships can be maintained. Oftentimes, friendships made during college years last for the length of a person’s life. Even if they don’t live near one another, many people keep in contact via telephone and email.

It seems your friendships can be crucial to your overall health, so make sure you focus on your friendships and the healthy relationships in your life. It can mean life or death.

Photo: Flickr: Corey Balazowich

10 Things That Don’t Seem To Be About Money, But Really Are

August 9, 2012 By Danielle Warchol 4 Comments

Many people fail to realize that almost all aspects of our lives are intricately weaved together with our finances, but it’s crucially important to understand that even things that don’t initially seem to have anything to do with finances or money management can have a great impact on these areas. By understanding that almost every decision that we make has financial consequences, you place yourself in a position to save money where you once wasted it without even realizing it. Here are a few of those areas that may not seem to have anything to do with money, but upon deeper reflection actually have a large impact in this area:

Stress

Almost everyone has been stressed out about something during their lives. Some of us deal with more stress on a daily basis than others. While stress can be caused by a variety of things, it’s often caused due to concerns about money. After all, which of us haven’t been stressed about our lack of savings, paying bills, or saving for retirement? Money is always a constant concern and it’s no wonder that stress is usually about money – even when it appears that the reason behind stress is something completely different.

Time

The saying “time is money” is definitely true. Time is a valuable thing and wasted time means wasted money. What this boils down to is people who squander opportunities to earn money – or spend less – in favor of being unproductive. How many of us could do an extra job for an extra paycheck but choose not to because we would rather hang out or sit in front of the TV? So, really, Benjamin Franklin was right when he said that “time is money”.

Relationship Breakups

More people than ever before state that the biggest reason their relationships fail is because of money. If one or both people in a relationship are barely breaking even, money is going to be an issue. It might not seem like it at first, but when you get down to the root of the problem or the arguments, you can bet that it’s going to be about money.

Health Problems

Just as money is often a factor behind stress, it’s also a factor behind poor health. Of course, money isn’t going to give you a disease, but constantly worrying about money will take its toll on your mental and physical wellbeing. If you’re worn down by your financial troubles, then you’re going to be more prone to getting sick.

Diet

Obviously, your diet is influenced by your financial status. Of course, on the surface level you’re going to worry about paying for groceries or your ability to go out to a restaurant is determined by how much money you have in the bank. But on a deeper level, your choice of food may be subconsciously influenced by money. For example, you might choose a generic brand over a well-known one because it’s cheaper. You might automatically skip organic produce because you don’t want to pay more money for it.

Education

Unfortunately, education has become about money. Sometimes it’s about sending a child to a public or private middle or high school. Sometimes it’s about whether or not someone can afford to go to a specific college. Additionally, instead of education being about obtaining knowledge and expanding one’s mind and skills, it’s become about obtaining a degree in order to obtain a job with a higher paycheck.

Habits

Most habits stem from someone’s financial status or awareness of money. This can range from having expensive clothing tastes to eating out every night to spending money twice a day for coffee. Or it could be obsessing about your budget and minimizing the amount of money you spend. It can even be something as simple as having the bad habit of leaving the light on after you leave a room, which makes your electric bill more expensive.

Emotions

Emotions are often tied to money. You’re happy when you’re not worrying about money and pleased when you can spend money without concern. But you’re angry when you don’t have any money and stressed when you’re in debt. Our emotions are tied to our financial stability. Even when money isn’t the first thing on our mind, it still affects our mood.

Entertainment

How you entertain yourself is definitely about money. Whether it’s going out to the movies, watching a sports game with friends, or staying home reading or watching TV, money is definitely involved. Your entertainment options are definitely affected by your budget and sometimes certain options aren’t feasible because you don’t have the money to spend. Even the decision to buy a DVD to watch repeatedly instead of paying for a movie channel on TV or Netflix is a decision that’s based on money and convenience.

Sleep

Naturally, sleep can be drastically tied to money. As with our emotions, health, and stress issues, the state of our finances can affect how we sleep at night. Are you worried about being able to pay your rent? You’re probably going to toss and turn all night. On the other hand, if you just got a promotion and a raise, you’re probably going to sleep wonderfully. Like most things, the more reassured you are, the better you feel. So, the next time you’re having a bad night’s sleep and are also having financial issues, you’ll know why you can’t get that rest you deserve!

(Photo courtesy of stevendepolo)

Starting a Business: Defining Relationships

December 2, 2009 By David G. Mitchell 4 Comments

Over the years, I’ve met a lot of people. If you were to look at my Facebook and Linked-In directories, you would find professionals and artisans, white collar and blue collar, stay at home parents and people who have chosen careers over families. Some have been clients. Others have been service providers. I’ve known some for forty years and others for less than forty days. My network of relationships really reflects the broad spectrum of humanity, and I am richer for that.

The other day, I was looking at my various networks and considering them in the context of my new business. As I looked at all of the names, I realized that I was also categorizing them. Some people were friends. Others were colleagues, and so on. I had someone in every column.

After reflecting on all of the names, I realized that by defining my relationships, I was also limiting them. If I called someone a friend, I was less likely to ask them for a favor in a professional context. If I called someone a colleague or a client, I had other reactions. If someone provided services to me, I looked at the relationship as one in which I have to pay for each interaction.

I also realized that my categorization of relationships was misguided, especially in the context of my new business, so I looked at all of the names a second time. I realized that the only people that I included in my networks were people who I actually liked. No matter how I might otherwise categorize these people, they were all my friends, at least from my perspective. More importantly, in many cases they were people for whom I had performed favors over the years.

I am always quick to offer to help out, or I try to be. Now that I am starting a business, I realized that a true friend will do that and that I needed to test the notion that “a friend in need is a friend indeed.” I also had to do so without appearing needy, because I know that there is only so far that I can push those relationships.

I started with a couple of simple e-mail messages. My website had just been completed and I asked two people – one a friend from high school with an MBA and the other a friend from graduate school who is an expert in all things related to social marketing – to take a look at my site. They both responded quickly and enthusiastically. They were pleased to offer their thoughts and I was thrilled to get their feedback (which was great).

Of course, I would not take my friendship for granted and I would never abuse the relationships that I have established over the years. I only look for favors that my friends will find both easy and convenient to deliver. With that in mind, however, I am looking at all of my relationships and wondering how I can build all of the people I know into a cohesive business plan. More importantly, perhaps, I am also looking at all of my relationships and wondering how I can bring more value to them so that the people who know me will derive more value from knowing me. I am convinced that it is true that the more we give, the more we will receive. Even if that is not the case, knowing all of the hurdles that I face as I start my own business, it is very satisfying to know that I have helped out someone else.

How do you define your relationships? Do you try to maintain a wall between your business relationships and your personal friendships? Do you feel comfortable asking friends for favors? How do you manage your relationships to ensure that you stay in touch with everyone you know?