Christmas gift

The Gifts I Appreciate Most

December 4, 2009 By David G. Mitchell 10 Comments

My friend is an aging veteran of WWII, having served in Europe and returned home with all of the horrific memories that combat service indelibly writes on the minds of those who experience it. After the war, he married a woman he loved and returned to a normal life, at least as normal as a life can be after combat.

Usually, I love to receive notes from my friend. On this day, however, I received a note that gave me pause to think. My friend wrote to vent, not because he knows me so well that he knows that I am always ready to listen, but because I think he needed to express his feelings to the world and he did not have anyone else to whom he could turn. My friend’s wife of sixty years had died and he was looking at a holiday season without the love of his life who had helped to heal the wounds, or at least mask the pain, of memories best left forgotten.

My friend was angry and bitter and scared. He told me that when his wife had died in his arms, after a five year battle with cancer and other maladies of old age, she looked worse than many of the women that he had helped to liberate from concentration camps almost sixty-five years ago. My friend is a wreck and I wept to read his message. I hope that I was able to comfort him with my response, but I know that words are never enough to salve the pain of such loss.

I wept for my friend, and for his wife, but I also learned from my friend’s experience. I immediately told my wife that we were going to buy a piece of jewelry that she has wanted for the past two years, but which she refused to buy until the economy was better. It was not a hugely expensive piece, but it was still an extra in which she felt that she should not indulge. It was also something that was truly going to make her happy.

On Christmas Day, the only gift that I want is the gift of watching my wife open the package that contains that small indulgence and the joy of seeing my kids open their presents. I will be thankful that my 82-year old father is healthy and active and is there to join us, that my mother who has smoked for most of her 70-something years retains her health and that my brother, who was not expected to live past his first birthday, will be celebrating his 41st Christmas with us.

I probably will not have any gifts with my name on them under the tree. That is usually the case, and that is how I want it. My gifts will be crowded around the tree, smiling and laughing, and I shall be grateful this year and every year that each is there to share that day with me.

What do you want for Christmas?

12 Mistakes of Christmas

December 20, 2008 By Joe Morgan 6 Comments

Christmas is a wonderful time of year, but it can be stressful as well. Sometimes, people have expectations so high that they could never be met. Other times, it’s the little things that can pile up and just wear a person down. Here are some of those little things you probably want to avoid this year.

One too many trips to the punch bowl at the office party

Alcohol at office parties is rapidly becoming a thing of the past, but there are still of few businesses out there who allow it. Small companies tend to have a feeling of close knit camaraderie that can amplify the decreased inhibition brought on by alcohol, and lead you to saying things you would otherwise not consider. Drinking at office parties is best done in moderation – your career will thank you.

Being too honest when opening a gift you really don’t want

You and I know that socks are a lame gift, but some people out there don’t. When you find yourself in the recipient seat of a lame-o Christmas gift, it’s best to just grin and bear it. A polite, “thank you so much” followed by a prompt re-gifting is probably best. Chances are, the gift giver is so socially tone deaf they won’t even notice that your “thank you” was delivered through gritted teeth.

Giving the gift of a fruitcake

I think Stan Lee said it best when he said, “’nuff said.”

Forgetting to say thank you

This is simply inexcusable. Modern society has become more coarse, and less well mannered with every passing year. Be a leader in putting a stop to it. If you have small children, reinforce the ideal of polite manners at least during the holidays, if not every day.

Not paying close enough attention to your purchases

Sometimes, we find ourselves distracted by other factors during the holiday season. This can lead to mistakes that may cause us to overlook the basics when buying an item. For example, I have this friend who recently took his family to cut down a Christmas tree. This friend was distracted with some silly, work type annoyances and didn’t realize that the 8 ft tree he was cutting down was really a 5 ft. tree right next to a skinny, 8 ft trunk that only had pine needles on the top 3 feet. The result was a very beautiful, very short white pine.

To add insult to injury, when I… I mean my friend… got the tree home and cut the bottom branch off so it would fit in the tree stand, he noticed there wasn’t another branch for the next 2 feet up the trunk. He was left with a 5 foot tree that only had branches on the top 3 feet!

All of this happened because… my friend was not really paying attention to what he was doing. The result was an impromptu outing to a nearby box store the next morning for another tree. Save yourself the headache of buying two Christmas trees, when you only need one – be focused on the task at hand.

Getting carried away with the spirit of giving

That old adage that it is better to give than to receive is so true – especially when giving to children. But getting carried away with the gift giving, and ending up paying for Christmas in installments stinks. Don’t get carried away and end up in debt. It’s simply not worth it.

Getting the gift you think someone should want, instead of the one they asked for

I love my sister in law, but she has this habit of “knowing what’s best” for someone. This extends to the gift giving arena, and often leads her to getting gifts for people that they didn’t really want. She believes that it’s the thought that counts, and putting the extra thought into a gift is more meaningful than a gift card. I get that, but not if it’s something the person doesn’t really want.

Using more vacation time than you need to

I love to take a week or two of vacation around Christmas and New Year’s. Spending time with my family, especially my two young children, is what make the holidays special to me. I know a lot of people who feel the same way. But before you block off those days on your calendar, make sure you aren’t using too many. For many full time employees, any unused vacation days are bought back from them upon their termination of employment. This can make a big difference if you get laid off from your job. It can mean another paycheck or two, depending on your circumstances. Of course, if you happen to work at a company with the “use it or lose” mindset, then be sure you use it.

Buying something just because it’s on sale

I am awestruck every time I hear someone brag about how much they “saved” on some sale item they didn’t need or want to begin with! Saving 70% on that new pair of shoes when you didn’t need them means you spent 30% more than you had to. Repeat after me: It’s only a sale if I need it!

Leaving nothing for tomorrow

It’s easy to blow through your budget before you know what happened, but don’t forget to save a little something for those after Christmas sales.

Re-gifting

I personally think an office party, secret Santa type of gift is OK to re-gift. If it’s a close relative or friend, you should probably either let them know they screwed up, or grin and bear it.

Thinking it’s all about you

It’s not. It’s much larger than you. Christmas is about family and friends. It’s about the people in your community. I’ll leave the religious points for another post, but at the very least we should open our hearts and remember to face life with humility and a humble and thankful spirit.

28 Gift Ideas That Save Money For The Recipient

September 15, 2008 By Jennifer Derrick 17 Comments

With the holidays approaching, it’s time to think about Christmas shopping. We always talk about ways to save money on gifts, from hitting the sales to drawing names out of a hat. That’s all well and good, but these strategies only save money for the buyer. How about turning the savings around this year and buying gifts that save money for their recipients?

Particularly in a down economy, gifts that help the recipient save money are much appreciated. You can still save money when buying most of these items if you use the tried and true shopping methods, but the following gift ideas have the added benefit of helping the recipients save money over the long term, as well. Who can argue with a gift that saves them money?

Reusable shopping bags

More and more municipalities are enacting bans, fees, or taxes on plastic bags, meaning that bringing your own bags to the store is becoming a way to save money by avoiding the fees and taxes. Some stores also give cash, coupons for money off your next order, or loyalty points back for every bag you bring in. It’s usually a small amount of money, but it does add up. Sites like Reusablebags.com sell a wide variety of bag styles and sizes that make great gifts and help the recipient save some cash at the store.

Gift cards

Always a staple of the holidays, a well considered gift card can save your recipient money because they won’t have to dip into their own funds to purchase something they want or need. Try to get a card to a store you know the recipient loves or shops at frequently and that carries useful stuff. Cards to stores that carry only expensive, “dream” merchandise aren’t really money savers because the recipient is locked into buying something frivolous when they might have preferred to spend the money on something useful or “everyday.” To save your recipient money, stick to bigger stores like Target, Wal-Mart, grocery stores, large department stores, large bed and bath stores, or clothing stores. At those places, your recipients can either get something they need or splurge on something fun and they will have lots of choices. And, with the lower prices at many of these stores, your gift will go further.

Magazine subscriptions

If you recipient has a favorite or needs a certain magazine for professional reasons, offer to pick up the subscription tab for the year. That way, your gift recipient won’t have to use their own funds to pay for it.

Pay for a service

Does your recipient hate to clean? Spring for a cleaning service. Hate to cook? Give them a gift certificate to a service like Schwanns that delivers prepared meals. Hate to mow the lawn? Give them the gift of a landscaping service. If they already have such services, offer to pick up the tab for a few months. Items such as these not only relieve the burden from people who don’t like or can’t do these things, but they save them money because they don’t have to pay for the service themselves.

Know what they need and buy them that

Rather than blindly hunting for the “perfect gift,” ask you recipients what they need and then get it for them. If they need clothes, try a gift card to a retailer that sells many styles. If they need food, get a gift card to a grocery store. If they need hobby or office supplies, either get a gift card or fill a box with several items. If they need household supplies like cleaners, toiletries, or linens, get a gift card to a big-box store, or create a gift basket with several items. Gifts that meet a need are just as appreciated (if not more so) than the doo-dad that you thought was “so cute” that you had to buy it. And getting them what they need means they won’t have to spend their own money to buy it.

A night out

You can give a gift certificate to a restaurant and a movie theater so that your recipient can have a night out with friends or family. Everyone appreciates the chance to escape for a few hours and a dinner out and a movie is a great combination. Your recipients will love having the chance to get out without having to pay for it themselves.

Offer to pay for a sitter

If your recipients have kids, offer to pick up the tab for a babysitter for a night or two. Sometimes people want to go out, but don’t want to spring for a babysitter so they stay home. Give them the chance to go out without having to pay for a sitter themselves.

Reusable water bottles

Your recipients won’t have to spend money on bottled water anymore if you get them a good quality, reusable water bottle with a built in filtration system. If they don’t mind the taste of tap water but buy bottled water for it’s portability, you can get a reusable water bottle without filtration for a little less money.

Set up a savings account

This can be a good one for kids or grandkids. Open an account (making sure to get any bonuses for opening a new account) and seed it with a little money. Even if nothing more is ever added to it, it will still gain some interest. You can add money to it each holiday to keep your gift growing. Alternatively, you could gift savings bonds or shares of stocks to help your recipients gain a bit of money.

A membership to a warehouse club

If your recipient lives near a club such as Sam’s, Costco, or BJ’s buy them a membership. They’ll save money on food, household items, and gas (if the club has a station) and they won’t have to pay the membership fee.

Movie rental subscription

Services like Netflix and Blockbuster can provide a lot of entertainment for very low cost. You’ll save your recipients money because they won’t have to pay the service fee themselves, and they might cut down on DVD purchases, trips to the movies, and cable subscriptions.

Gifts for the couponer

If you know someone who is into (or wants to be into) couponing, there are several gift choices. First, you can get them a subscription to the local Sunday paper if they don’t already have one. This is a great source of coupons. Second, you can purchase a membership for them at a coupon/shopping website such as TheGroceryGame.com. Third, you can buy them an organizational system for their coupons, such as a binder and pockets, recipe box, or divided filing pouch.

Seeds and materials for a window or container garden

If your recipient has a green thumb (or just wants to reduce their grocery costs), consider setting them up with some pots, dirt and seeds/starter plants to grow their own vegetables or herbs. Many plants can be grown in containers in small spaces, so even those with limited space can grow at least a few things.

A good cookbook

Maybe your recipient eats out a lot because he, “Just doesn’t know what to fix.” A good cookbook can solve that problem and save the recipient hundreds in dining out costs. Ideally the recipes should be easy and quick to prepare and require simple, easy to find ingredients and utensils. Otherwise, the recipient will quickly get frustrated and spend more money on equipment and ingredients than they would have by continuing to eat out.

Money-saving books

If your recipient is looking for ways to save money, a book such as The Tightwad Gazette can be a good choice. It’s full of ideas to save money, but it’s not preachy. A person can easily find many ways to save money with this book, but be careful. Only give it to someone that you’re sure would appreciate it, otherwise they might think you’re calling them poor or insinuating that they have financial problems.

Digital camera and/or photo printer

Aside from being fun, digital cameras save a lot of money over a conventional camera. Your recipient will no longer have to pay for film or film processing. You can go a step further and buy a photo printer and paper so they can print their own photos. If they already have a digital camera, the photo printer can be a great add on.

Fans, window AC’s, and/or space heaters

Heating and cooling costs are usually the biggest components of an energy bill. Portable fans, window air conditioners, and space heaters allow you to heat and cool just the rooms you are occupying, rather than cooling or heating the whole house, saving a ton of money. Some of these items have gotten so fancy that they make great gifts. You can also buy decorative ceiling fans and offer to pay for the installation (or do it yourself). With heating and cooling costs going through the roof, a chance to save a few bucks is a welcome gift.

Reusable lunch tote/kit

A great looking lunch tote and accessories (like sandwich boxes, utensils, thermos/bottle, and napkins) make bringing lunch to work or school fun, easy and more enjoyable than the plain old brown bag. Your recipient will save by eating in more often, rather than going out every day.

Cloth napkins/towels

You can eliminate the need for your recipient to buy paper napkins and paper towels by giving them attractive cloth substitutes. Many sizes and designs are available and, since they can be tossed in the wash with the regular laundry, they don’t add to the chore load.

Gift certificates to fast food restaurants

I love getting these because, no matter now much I plan my meals or stockpile groceries, there are still those days when I have to grab something on the run. Things get hectic, or unexpected events occur and the next thing I know I’m in line at the drive-thru. With a stash of gift cards in my purse, I don’t have to worry about these unexpected meals out taking a bite out of my budget.

Rechargeable batteries and charger

So many things these days are driven by batteries that you can spend a fortune feeding batteries to your gizmos. Give someone a set of rechargeable batteries (in a common size, like AA) and a charger and save them from buying so many batteries.

Gas

The cost of gas is going up and up, so why not buy someone a full tank or two? Most gas stations now sell gift cards that can be used for their “brand” of fuel at any participating station. I don’t know anyone who would turn down the gift of free gas these days.

A gift card to a greeting card store

I know I spend a lot on greeting cards every year. From birthdays, to holidays, to graduations, there’s always an occasion that warrants a card. How nice it would be to have a gift card to a Hallmark store (or similar) to draw upon every time I needed a card and wrapping paper.

Programmable thermostats

These save a lot on energy costs because they are set to keep the house warmer or cooler when no one is home or everyone’s asleep and not benefiting from the “ideal” temperature. Why waste the money to heat or cool an empty house? Set it up once, and a programmable thermostat does the job without someone having to remember to turn the temperature up and down all the time.

Reusable air filters

These tend to do a better job than the cheap air filters, plus you can reuse them over and over again with just a simple wash to keep them clean. You’ll save your recipients money both in energy costs (these make air systems run more efficiently) and in the cost of replacement filters.

Compact fluorescent light bulbs

They don’t make a very sexy gift, but CFL’s use about 75% less energy than regular bulbs and last ten times longer. Your gift recipient will save on energy costs as well as the cost of bulbs over the long term.

Low flow devices

Low flow faucets and shower heads aren’t sexy gifts, but they do save money on the water bills. These devices have come a long way and now come in massaging and other fancy varieties that make good gifts.

Go with a theme

Some of my best gifts have been big boxes or gift baskets filled with items that have a theme. For example, I once got a gift basket full of nothing but pet supplies. It was all stuff I would have bought at some point, but it saved me the money. I’ve given boxes filled with office supplies to people who have their own businesses and gift baskets of cleaning supplies and household goods to people buying new homes. I’ve given gifts of toiletries and toiletry totes to kids going away to college and boxes filled with “green” items to those looking to change their lifestyles. You can make gift baskets for new babies with diapers, wipes, tissue and other supplies. Useful items can be grouped and packaged in interesting and attractive ways to make great, creative gifts. It’s great to give something like this because, if it’s all things the recipient would have bought at some point, it saves them the money.

These ideas aren’t only for Christmas. Gifts that save money are welcome on birthdays, graduations, baby showers, and other occasions, as well. To come up with gifts that save your recipients money, think of the things that you spend money on, and then come up with a creative way to make that a gift. Chances are your recipient has to spend money on that category or item as well, and will be relieved to avoid or reduce the expense. I much prefer a gift that helps me save money over receiving another knick-knack that I have no need for and have to clean. It’s great to think of ways to save money on your gift giving, but if your gifts can save your recipients money at the same time, you’ll be doing them a great service.

Image courtesy of jek in the box

Christmas Gifts: The Art of Giving Intelligently

September 5, 2008 By David G. Mitchell 7 Comments

Christmas and Chanukah and Kwanzaa are coming! That means that if you are a prudent shopper, you have been doing your holiday shopping for many months now. I am sure that all are doing a fine job of controlling their spending while they shop for holiday gifts but I wonder whether we are all spending prudently, regardless of how thrifty we might be.

When I was a child, Christmas was always the most wonderful time of the year. To this day, Christmas Eve remains my favorite 24 hours in the calendar. My childhood home in Massachusetts was always lit up with Christmas lights and decorations and our Christmas tree would have made Santa and his elves quite proud.

And then there were the presents. LOTS of presents. Our tree always had a sea of brightly wrapped packages underneath it and Santa always brought many, many more. To describe my parents as “generous” would be like describing the Pacific Ocean as a “puddle.” I always got more gifts than all of my friends and spent most of Christmas morning unwrapping and sorting.

I will always appreciate my parents’ love and generosity. Unfortunately, in all of the years that I lived at home with them, I rarely, if ever, received a present that I actually wanted or could use. Especially as a younger child, I received a lot of games that I never played and a lot of toys that gathered dust until we donated them to the white elephant sale at my school carnival six months later.

My parents had the concept of “giving” down to a science. They had never mastered, however, the art of “giving intelligently.” If you are spending all year long looking for bargains that you can put under the tree, you may not be giving intelligently either, and you may want to consider the following tips to ensure that your holiday gifts are remembered for the joy that they bring beyond the holidays, and not just the anticipation that they created when they were wrapped under the tree.

Quality is better than Quantity

Unless you have trained your children to expect a mountain of gifts at the holidays, they should appreciate whatever you give them. Do not feel compelled to turn your living room into a toy warehouse. Before buying a gift, ask yourself whether your child will actually appreciate and enjoy the gift for more than a few minutes. Do you see your child using the gift a week, a month or a year after you give it to him or her. The longer the useful life of the gift, the more memories the gift will give to your child. (One gift that I do think my parents had spot on was my annual gift of a different set of “army men,” toys that I still own and which my own children often used when they were younger.)

Know your Child

If your child loves to read but hates sports, do not give him or her a lot of sports equipment just because you hope to jumpstart their interest. Buy books, because that is what your child will want, and leave the sports issue to another day. If your child has developed a novice interest in an activity, do not buy gifts that are intended for experts, because that will only frustrate your child. Similarly, if your child has developed expertise in something, do not buy a gift that is below his or her level just because it is on sale.

Know Yourself

If you find a bargain on a gift that is perfect for your child but which you know he or she will never find a way to use, stay away from it. As a child, I recall a friend who had a ping pong table that was folded up in his basement. His parents had given it to him for Christmas one year because he loved ping pong. After they played with it for a few days, his parents had folded it up and then, only rarely, did he ever get a chance to use his gift. In my case, I never bought my kids toys that were very loud, because I work at home and could never have gotten any work done with a lot of loud noises in the background.

Help your Child to Know What He or She Likes

I always told my kids that I needed a Christmas list from them by September 1 of each year. It gave me four months to look for bargains and it forced my kids to think about what they would appreciate. When my kids would ask for something expensive, I always asked them to tell me why they wanted it. If they could not give me an answer, they knew that they needed to revise their list and remove the item from it. We would go through that kind of questioning for a few rounds until they knew, and I knew, what they really wanted.

You Do Not Need to Purchase Every Gift

Most kids will have more fun playing with their parents than playing alone with their toys. Even if you play with your children, as I am sure you do, you can give them a great gift just by making them a coupon book that allows them to redeem coupons to do things with you. You can be as creative as you want with the coupons – anything from “Play a game of Monopoly” to “Take a road trip” to “Get out of doing your chores for one Saturday.” You know best what coupons will make your kids happiest.

Help Your Child to Develop an Interest

If your child does have a hobby, whether it is a sport or stamp collecting or bug collecting or whatever, the holidays are a great time to help your child to take the interest to a new level. Now is the time to give that special baseball bat or stamp or coin. If your child has a positive association with an activity, it will make the gift all the more exciting.

Help your Kids to Play Together

Look for presents that will encourage your kids to play together. A game that is good for two or more players will help all of your kids to get excited about the gifts that their siblings receive. You have done a good job shopping if the recipient of a gift shouts “Cool!” when the gift is opened. You have done a great job shopping when everyone in the room shouts “Cool!” when the gift is displayed.

Avoid Family Gifts Unless You Know the Entire Family Will Enjoy Them

If Mom and Dad want to go to Bermuda for a family vacation, the kids need to go even if for some reason they do not want to go. If Mom and Dad want to force a holiday vacation on the kids and then claim it is their “gift,” Mom and Dad need to think again. Never give a gift to oneself and then claim it is a gift for the family. Similarly, don’t buy the family a stereo system or big screen TV if the kids will never get to play their CDs on the stereo or will end up constantly fighting over the remote control. It is better to give each child a Nano than to spend all the money on a system that will become the subject of family fighting.

It’s Not About the Gifts

Always remember, whatever faith you may follow and whatever your secular beliefs, holidays should not be about gift receiving. If your kids approach the holidays as their chance for a free ride for a few months, they are missing the point. Teach your children to appreciate all that they receive and they will appreciate you all the more as they grow up. When your young children are old enough to earn an allowance, make sure they set aside a little money every week so that at holiday time they can buy a small gift for an underprivileged child. They will enjoy the feeling of giving and it will help them to understand how important it is to appreciate what they receive.