Burial plots

[TexasHusker]

So my dad is terminally ill with Alzheimer's. He might live 6 months or 6 years, who knows. But I'm wondering if it is prudent to go ahead and buy a burial plot from a third party? I called a couple of cemeteries and they want $3-4-5K for a nice single plot. Meanwhile, I am seeing these for sale on craigslist for $2K or less.

Seems like a no-brainer. Any cautionary words?

[disneysteve]

I don't think it's a bad move at all. If you are set on where you would like him buried, nothing wrong with getting that piece of the process locked in now, especially at a good price. And buying resale is the way to go for obvious reasons. The entire funeral business is such a rip off. They prey on people at one of the lowest points in their lives to upsell them and take them for every penny they can.

You probably already know this, but just in case, when the time comes, the law requires funeral homes to accept caskets from outside vendors with no additional charge. You can purchase a casket from numerous vendors online for a fraction of what the funeral home charges for the identical items. Even big name discount retailers like Walmart and Costco sell caskets online. I've already shown my wife where to get mine - $900 for a simple pine casket, which is what is preferred in our religion anyway, but the same box is 3-4 times that much at the funeral home.

[FLA]

I'm sorry about your Dad, Alzheimer's is very hard on a family. Did you know you can get hospice care for Alzheimer's patients? They have to meet certain criteria but if he does, it's an extra set of helping hands.

[TexasHusker]

I'm sorry about your Dad, Alzheimer's is very hard on a family. Did you know you can get hospice care for Alzheimer's patients? They have to meet certain criteria but if he does, it's an extra set of helping hands.

Yes, he's not to that point yet, but we will definitely utilize it when the time comes.

Alzheimer's care is quite expensive. Fortunately my dad had a $200K long term care policy, plus $4100 a month in pension and SS, plus a paid-for house, plus a chunk of cash.

I sold his estate and bought him a vacation rental that nets him roughly $2K a month after all expense, so financially he's set, and he's in the best of the best memory care places. What a different scenario it would be if he was broke.

He has a very good friend who is in similar shape, but he's broke. He badly needs to be in assisted living/memory care, but his daughter simply can't afford it. She's living in CA and he lives in TX, and she pays $1100 a month for him to live in a retirement village. His apartment looks like a giant rats nest. He is just existing there waiting to die, in total filth and unsanitary conditions. If you wind the hands of time back 30 years, this friend was living well - large house on a brick street, an Audi 5000 sedan, swimming pool, ski trips, and lots of toys. All of those things are gone now and he's in poverty to the extreme.

If you want to die with dignity, you'd better start planning right now.

[FLA]

you said it

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Yes, he's not to that point yet, but we will definitely utilize it when the time comes.

Alzheimer's care is quite expensive. Fortunately my dad had a $200K long term care policy, plus $4100 a month in pension and SS, plus a paid-for house, plus a chunk of cash.

I sold his estate and bought him a vacation rental that nets him roughly $2K a month after all expense, so financially he's set, and he's in the best of the best memory care places. What a different scenario it would be if he was broke.

He has a very good friend who is in similar shape, but he's broke. He badly needs to be in assisted living/memory care, but his daughter simply can't afford it. She's living in CA and he lives in TX, and she pays $1100 a month for him to live in a retirement village. His apartment looks like a giant rats nest. He is just existing there waiting to die, in total filth and unsanitary conditions. If you wind the hands of time back 30 years, this friend was living well - large house on a brick street, an Audi 5000 sedan, swimming pool, ski trips, and lots of toys. All of those things are gone now and he's in poverty to the extreme.

If you want to die with dignity, you'd better start planning right now.

This is a stupid question but what happened to your dad's friend's money? Where did it all go? What happened to the house? And toys? Wasn't it sold worth something? Did he run through it already?

[Like2Plan]

Texas,
Are you the only one who would be making the decision? Is there any chance you would change your mind? Is your Mom a factor?

[TexasHusker]

This is a stupid question but what happened to your dad's friend's money? Where did it all go? What happened to the house? And toys? Wasn't it sold worth something? Did he run through it already?

He had high paying jobs, but never really settled into one Long enough to establish a pension. I was really doing good with Janus funds for a while - had over $80K in that in the early 90s which would have been splendid had he kept it there. But every time there was a correction his fund would fall and he’d sell out and get back in at precisely the wrong times. And he got a divorce, too. Then he had a stroke. He recovered, but not well enough to work at a serious job.

[TexasHusker]

Texas,
Are you the only one who would be making the decision? Is there any chance you would change your mind? Is your Mom a factor?

My brother and sister have been MIA for literally years so they dont get a vote. My dad and my mom are divorced, so she doesn’t get a vote either.

[scfr]

Any cautionary words?

A cemetery is a business. Businesses go bankrupt.
The spot where my late father is buried went in to bankruptcy and fell in to disrepair. The city where the cemetery is located took it over and turned it in to a place to bury people whose family couldn't or wouldn't (not quite a potter's field though). Eventually the cemetery was purchased by a religious group and the remaining land became an Islamic cemetery; this group maintains the entire cemetery, for which I am grateful. I have absolutely no problem with this scenario, and I don't think my late father would either.

My cautionary note is to just be aware that when you turn over the remains of a loved one to a business, you lose control over what happens to their burial place.