When would you lend money

[james.hendrickson]

A few months ago, I guy I knew from a previous job I had a few years ago called me up out of the blue and asked me for some help. He was down and out, and had been having trouble finding work. Pretty much he had sold most of his stuff and was about to get evicted. He asked me for $1,000.

Offered him some part time work, but balked at the loan. Mostly because I was under the impression that I wouldn't see the money again.

So, here is my question to the forums - under what circumstances would you lend money to a friend?

[97guns]

I stopped around 10 years ago, the last time I got burned. I've learned that a real friend will not ask for money or ask for anything for that matter.

[disneysteve]

The only people I have ever lent money to are my mother and my one cousin (who is more like a brother to me). And I know that without hesitation either of them would also lend me money if needed. In fact, my mother has fronted us money more than once over the years. I don't recall if my cousin ever has.

Why would I lend to those people? I know pretty much everything about their financial situations. We lent my cousin money a few years ago when he retired and moved to Florida. There was a gap between when he needed funds and when he was able to access certain accounts based on his age at retirement. So I knew he had plenty of money and would repay us as soon as he could - and he did.

[puck36]

I would never lend money to a friend or family because it will change the relationship. I would gift them the money if I had the money.

[Captain Save]

I have a guy who 's owed me for 3 years still giving me the run around.. now I only lend to people who have had a good history of paying me back swiftly .. and family of course (usually I only lend an amount that won't kill me if they don't pay me back)

[msomnipotent]

I would only lend what I am willing to lose. Some of my family members are good about paying me back, some are not. I have one that owes me at least $3,000. I would only give if not having the money affected her child. And then I would kiss it goodbye. But I would still bitch about it to anyone who would listen.

[TexasHusker]

No loans to family and close friends - just gifts.

[clatoden99]

You lend money to your friends and dear ones. Problem is you cannot charge any interest as bank does. So you lose out some on the deal! Another drawback is time. We cannot force them amidst their financial crisis.

[rennigade]

Thankfully no one has ever asked me for money. There are only 3 people I would ever give money to and not care if they paid me back. My one friend who is financially responsible and have always trusted. My in laws and my parents.

I wouldnt give money to anyone else period. Not even my sister. Shes terrible with money and squanders it quicker than it can come in.

[GoodSteward]

I agree you need to gift money to people you really care about because it does change the relationship, even after they pay it back, if there was any tension to it. if they were late with it, if they gave the run around for a while, etc. All of that leaves a lasting impression on us changing what we think of them. I believe it's because we take it more personal when they are closer to us.

I've also seen people get offended because the person that can loan it didn't just give it. It's like an entitlement mentality that makes them think "he can afford this, but I can't..why doesn't he just give me the money." That gets bad too.

I've loaned to my brother who almost never paid me back. Several times I started out loaning it, but not long after(to avoid more relationship damage from past similar situations) I just forgive them the debt and told them not to worry about it. He has on going financial issues as I have posted about before. I feel better doing it that way, and I know it saved a lot of heartache.

I also recently loaned a long time friend who isn't around much anymore. I get a call out of nowhere that he was arrested on a DUI but hadn't been drinking. He works at a bar and got some on him. Problem is that he had been arrested before for a real DUI. I was told by his older brother( that i am closer to) that he had been in jail not long ago and just got things back together and a job, and going back right now would make it worse instead of help. So, I loaned the 300$ needed. Been around 2- months and not a dime.

I suggest to keep this kind of thing to a minimum.

[FLA]

I would lend money to my parents and my best friend, maybe an extended family member but I would consider it a gift in that case.

I won't lend money to my overextended brother because he makes a great income but blows it on dinners out, expensive toys and tech stuff. Now he doesn't ask because he knows I don't have it but he asked once in the past. Instead, I drove to Boston, went through his lawn and leaf bag chuck filled with overdue bills, at least 35 parking tickets he never paid and tons of medical bills he had ignored. I got him organized and wrote checks for the minimum and negotiated his medical bills down.

Now he's married, I hoped things would get better. But when they lived together, he paid everything of hers including her student loans and did not work on his own debt. Now they want a house and have to get their credit in order. He has a long road to hoe and I can't help him. My parents have loaned him over 15k and he's never paid that back. He's a mooch and has no concept of handling money. I really hope my parents have learned to stop bailing him out, he has the resources to live a wonderful quality of life and chooses to screw it up. He is a genius and has the mental capacity to read Your Money or Your Life, lol, kinda

[Fishindude77]

With family and friends I've always looked at it as a gift and if you get paid back anything just consider that a bonus. Nothing wrong with giving someone close to you a little cash to help them out.

[Leo]

Friends - I don't have any close friend who asks for money. If ever they do, I would probably just give it as a gift up to whatever I am willing to lose.

Family - I lend to my mom and sisters some times if they need to but I always consider it as a lost money if ever they cant or wont pay it back, so far doesnt happen.

[MooseBucks]

Immediate family depending on the situation. Luckily we've never had to loan out anything significant.