Need advice - If we chose private school are we risking our retirement?

[Outdoorsygal]

I think one thing that is best for your children is making sure you aren't a burden to them in the future. I know too many people my age (50s) who are struggling today because they are supporting their own families and also supporting their parents who failed to plan for their later years.

Yes that is all too common, it blows my mind.

But an education is the children's culture so I still say they come first. We didn't save while our son was in a private school but it was better for him at the time. At least until we moved back into the permimeters so he could attend.

I cannot fathom the mentality of people who think their kids are going to financially support them...all when they had the means to do so yet didn't.
That happened to us with my husbands parents, his dad expected us to pay his food bills and other utilities and insurance. It was bizarre, and we complied. We should ask his estate (my BIL- trustee) for that $$ back. I suppose some people never want to realize they will get old. But my inlaws were never like that, his dad changed bigtime into thinking everyone owed him the world. On the flipside, there is alot of maneuvers you can do to cover your kids estate.

[cornfieldj]

Both my kids went to NYC public schools - unless you do a Catholic school, private schools in our area can run $30k to $40k a year. Since we're not hedge fund managers, that wasn't going to happen.

Make sure you really need the private school. My younger son now goes to a top-rated public high school. His elementary/middle school was sort of meh, but we did outside enrichment things.

I sometimes wonder if private schools are sold to parents in the same way a lot of extra baby things are sold. It may not be fair to compare private school to something like a diaper wipes warmer, but ... it may also be worth thinking about.

I really don't mean to offend, and everyone has different standards, situations, desires, etc. Really depends on the public school you have, I guess. I didn't love my son's lower school but it did give him a very diverse set of friends. A lot of factors to look at and compare...

I think DisneySteve makes some good points about not being a burden to one's kids later on. (My husband says he can't wait to be a burden to our kids, ha.)

One more thing - if it's really a great school, $7k for 2 kids per year is a fantastic bargain. My neighbor sent her kids to Catholic school (because the public education just wasn't serving them) and she would have been delighted to pay that.

[TexasHusker]

A couple of thoughts: This family, for whatever of a variety of reasons, values a private education. While public school often is a good answer, it just as often is not.

Second, these parents have the means to both invest for their future AND pay for private school - it is not an either/or proposition. In fact, they are already years ahead of most folks their age in terms of overall investments and assets. Some planning will ensure a bright day today, and tomorrow.

[disneysteve]

these parents have the means to both invest for their future AND pay for private school - it is not an either/or proposition.

Agreed. But I still think it's important to have a plan and a priority list. What you don't want to do is focus all of your attention on education and "forget" to save for the future. Just become the income exists doesn't mean it will magically end up in the right places without a plan. That's what tends to get people in trouble regardless of income.

[GoodSteward]

All in monthly expenses eat both of our salaries so all we have left over is the 15k self-employment income + 3.4k rental income.

This is what stuck out to me. If I understand this right your monthly salaries are all obligated to monthly expenses? So this new school would be paid for out of self-employment?

I might have missed something, but if you have obligated your salary cash flow, the one that you can count on most, then the last thing you need to do is obligate more cash flow each month. You obviously have done well, and at some point had plenty of extra cash to have built up the accounts. That's why I'm a bit confused at that quoted statement. Possibly all of the building you have done was factored into "expenses" like savings, or you quit saving so heavily and now that money goes to other things. I guess some clarity for me here would be helpful. Otherwise, what others have put I agree with. No need to beat a dead horse. I just got a bit concerned when I saw "monthly expenses eat both salaries" in the OP.

[MooseBucks]

This is what stuck out to me. If I understand this right your monthly salaries are all obligated to monthly expenses? So this new school would be paid for out of self-employment?

Correct - Both of our salaries are obligated to monthly expenses which included our discretionary spending. The largest expenses are travel and eating out and we've spent an insane amount on that YTD. My wife only works part time currently so there is a possibility for increased income if she were to go back to work full time. The issue with that is any significant changes in income will increase the cost of attendance at the school.

The reason we were debating private school is my wife and both attended this school and feel it was instrumental in our future successes. It has consistently ranked among the best private schools and when I started there in high school I was behind in most classes compared to the students that had been there for lower/middle school. We've been offered a substantial aid package to send our daughter there which is what makes it such a difficult decision for us.

[GoodSteward]

My aunt is a principle in a highly ranked top end private grade school in Oregon. They may cost more, but they really are that much better for educating children. They get a lot more one on one time, and they are pushed more. Also, they do not allow ANY misbehavior. They will kick a child out very quickly, so this helps maintain a stable environment for children and teachers.

That being said, the cost is just something you'll have to decide on, however, I wouldn't just add this to your plate. I would recommend trading off something, such as Jluke mentioned foregoing the extra mortgage in place of this, or have your wife go more full time to help make it up like you mentioned.

The last thing you want is to over obligate your monthly cash flow. Having a lot of expenses is one thing, but not having enough money to cover everything is where the real stress comes in.

[sblatner]

You mention high school. If your children go to the private school for K-8, do you see them going there for high school? Do you know how much that costs?

[MooseBucks]

You mention high school. If your children go to the private school for K-8, do you see them going there for high school? Do you know how much that costs?

Ideally they would go all the way through. The aid remains the same throughout their time there unless our income changes.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

What's the self-employment income from? What's the likelyhood of it going away? Or of your wife going to work full time? I would say that she should go to work full time then you could afford private school, retirement, and college. Or at least it seems like you can afford needs on your salary and wants on hers.

[breathemusic]

Sounds like at the very least you could offset some of that expense just by cutting back on your discretionary spending. If you really want to do the private school thing, I'd do as other's suggested and make sure that you're offsetting the expense somewhere in your budget instead of relying on picking up extra income.

[sblatner]

Ideally they would go all the way through. The aid remains the same throughout their time there unless our income changes.

The aid goes all the way through high school but does the price go up?

[MooseBucks]

The aid goes all the way through high school but does the price go up?

The sticker price increases however what we pay remains the same as long as our income doesn't change.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

But if the school is good and you get a raise/promotion, doesn't that mean you are going to make more? So is it worth cutting discretionary spending or just making more period and affording it comfortably?

[sv2007]

$6k private school is very cheap (really cheap actually), but what's private school or a 4yr old and 6months old? Is it daycare (which is still very cheap for a year)?