UGH. We may not be moving

[dawnwes]

We went house hunting this last week, 3 different days.

We are very discouraged by what we are finding. Housing prices have gone way up in the city, but not as high up in our area in the suburbs. To find a house not even as large as ours, not as nice, and with less land, we need to spend at least an additional $100K, or roughly 25% more than we can sell this house for.

We were only moving in about 10 miles. Then the realtor talked us into looking just 5 miles North because the homes were a bit less, but not by much. But we are looking at maybe 75K more instead of 100K more, if that.

And the taxes on real estate are almost double, even 5 miles north, because it is in the city limits. So, instead of paying $350/mo. for a $450K house, we will be paying $550/mo for a $550K house. And we are on a well, so we will have a water bill, we are told that will add about $80/mo.

With the added mortgage, the added taxes, and the water bill, we will be paying aprox. $700/mo more or so for a house that is smaller, with less land, and in a lower (slightly) quality school area.

My husband and I talked and are considering changing some other things in our life rather than moving.

Very discouraging. But I will not move only 5 miles from where we are now and spend that much more.

We would love a pool. I pointed out that for the amount we would pay the realtor ($30K), we could just get one.

Sigh. This is just a vent and a whine. I was so looking forward to moving. But I just can't bring myself to do it given these parameters.

We also have 11 years left on our mortgage and we would be increasing that to at least another 15 years.

This is the right decision, right?

[snafu]

Have you ever had a swimming pool with total responsibility for care, daily operation and maintenance? Be careful what you wish for! The only reason I was delighted to leave our home in Toronto was because of the *&^%$# pool.

It was a lovely way to meet the neighbours and quickly be assimilated into the community. The time, effort, costs of product to keep water safe/balanced, constant run of people, worry about other people's children's antics at the pool, mess of the deck, running through towels on one hand and trying to return towels to the correct families was pure H_LL.

Kids and possibly adult neighbours climbed over the security fence and opened the gate when we were away from home. We were responsible for anything that might happen! People let their dogs swim! Unapproved toys got clogged in the works and require professional intervention. If kids are playing a noisy game, neighbours complain without realizing their kids are making the noise. If you think vacuuming the house is annoying try vacuuming tons of water twice daily required by your pool.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

What was the reason for you wanting to move? What does the $100k buy you? Half the commute time? Better schools? I think $100k isn't too bad if you get a lot of benefits.

[msomnipotent]

We are kind of in the same boat. All the houses we have looked at are not built as well as ours (and ours isn't all that great), the yards are smaller, they are close to the train, and we really aren't saving that much money due to our low interest rate. We just want to get out of this neighborhood ASAP, though! And the houses are being snapped up so quickly. I have no idea why. They are in the $350,000 to $400,000 range, so it isn't like they are cheap for the area.

Now that we did a lot of work, I'm liking the house more and starting to think that maybe I can tolerate the jerks one or two more years. But probably not.

[dawnwes]

What was the reason for you wanting to move? What does the $100k buy you? Half the commute time? Better schools? I think $100k isn't too bad if you get a lot of benefits.

NOT better schools. Our local schools are the #1 schools in the entire metro area. We were looking at moving to the #2 rated schools.

But it isn't just the $100K more. It is the higher tax rate, smaller house, and smaller yard.

The commute has been the issue. I drive sometimes 3-4 HOURS per day. If we change some of our activities, etc...we can change that.

One son is in a charter school 20 miles away. Another son is in the community college 20 miles away (3 days per week. Although I drive him just 10 miles to the nearest bus station.) All sons have been in scouts, soccer, church, etc....over 10 miles away.

We are thinking that we will need to change what we do.

Scouts will have to change to a local troop. It only affects youngest as the other two will have finished Eagle by the end of the year.

Middle son will not be going to the charter next year. He wanted a change anyway. He will be doing dual enrollment.

DH is able to work from home 3 days per week now, so that cuts his commute a lot.

I don't know where my job will be.

No, we aren't moving to a better school area. We live in the absolute best schools in the entire greater metro area. We have never used them. We have homeschooled. But youngest will use them next year if we stay here.

I had planned to go back to work in the Fall, so I will just apply to somewhere closer.

[dawnwes]

We are kind of in the same boat. All the houses we have looked at are not built as well as ours (and ours isn't all that great), the yards are smaller, they are close to the train, and we really aren't saving that much money due to our low interest rate. We just want to get out of this neighborhood ASAP, though! And the houses are being snapped up so quickly. I have no idea why. They are in the $350,000 to $400,000 range, so it isn't like they are cheap for the area.

Now that we did a lot of work, I'm liking the house more and starting to think that maybe I can tolerate the jerks one or two more years. But probably not.

You mean the neighbors? We actually have very good neighbors. And we live on 2.5 acres so we have privacy. I do like the privacy.

[msomnipotent]

It is easy to compute the cost of extra taxes and gas, but not so easy to value good neighbors and privacy. I would try to meet prospective neighbors if at all possible, to get the attitude of the neighborhood. It would have saved us a lot of problems if we bothered to do that. The people here are just vicious.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Okay so for $200k say it'll cost you the privacy and space you want? Did you expect it to be the same? I think it's a matter of priorities.

I prefer to live with a shorter commute for us and moving will be 30 minutes versus 60 minutes. And yes 30 minutes is something to us. Same level of schools but the houses are smaller on smaller lots. But the commuting matters.

I think there isn't a right or wrong answer. But only what people choose is important. 2.5 acres and privacy important? Great. Or 3000 versus 2000 sq ft house? Also important. School districts obviously important too.

But I don't think people are wrong if they pick a small house, lot, and more property taxes to have shorter commute. They just value different things.

Oh well. At least you investigated the prospect and learned it wasn't to your liking.

[dawnwes]

It is easy to compute the cost of extra taxes and gas, but not so easy to value good neighbors and privacy. I would try to meet prospective neighbors if at all possible, to get the attitude of the neighborhood. It would have saved us a lot of problems if we bothered to do that. The people here are just vicious.

I have one vicious neighbor, but his viciousness is not directed at us! He fights city hall on all sorts of things.

The house behind us (not part of our neighborhood, but has 8 acres, now split and 4 acres are sold to build two houses on and then the main house as about 4 acres) has been for sale for a long time. Every new buyer (there have been two offers accepted) gets a lecture from him about how the well up there doesn't pump enough water and they will lose money if they buy that house. If I were those folks I would be But I JUST found out that info (he actually told me himself.)

[dawnwes]

Okay so for $200k say it'll cost you the privacy and space you want? Did you expect it to be the same? I think it's a matter of priorities.

I prefer to live with a shorter commute for us and moving will be 30 minutes versus 60 minutes. And yes 30 minutes is something to us. Same level of schools but the houses are smaller on smaller lots. But the commuting matters.

I think there isn't a right or wrong answer. But only what people choose is important. 2.5 acres and privacy important? Great. Or 3000 versus 2000 sq ft house? Also important. School districts obviously important too.

But I don't think people are wrong if they pick a small house, lot, and more property taxes to have shorter commute. They just value different things.

Oh well. At least you investigated the prospect and learned it wasn't to your liking.

Yes, that is what we are kind of rethinking. We are considering CHANGING our plans and moving our stuff more down here. He commutes only 2 days per week now instead of 5, and works from home the other days. I am looking at applying to jobs down this way now instead of in the city. Church is 10 miles, bus stop is 10 miles.

But church is only once or twice per week. Bus will be 3 times, but middle son will have his license soon.

Just thinking of maybe changing our lives around this house instead of around where we were looking to move.

It is hard. I am not the best decision maker for big decisions. I pro and con it to death.

[dawnwes]

Have you ever had a swimming pool with total responsibility for care, daily operation and maintenance? Be careful what you wish for! The only reason I was delighted to leave our home in Toronto was because of the *&^%$# pool.

It was a lovely way to meet the neighbours and quickly be assimilated into the community. The time, effort, costs of product to keep water safe/balanced, constant run of people, worry about other people's children's antics at the pool, mess of the deck, running through towels on one hand and trying to return towels to the correct families was pure H_LL.

Kids and possibly adult neighbours climbed over the security fence and opened the gate when we were away from home. We were responsible for anything that might happen! People let their dogs swim! Unapproved toys got clogged in the works and require professional intervention. If kids are playing a noisy game, neighbours complain without realizing their kids are making the noise. If you think vacuuming the house is annoying try vacuuming tons of water twice daily required by your pool.

Yes. We currently have a 28' above ground pool. I told DH if I don't get an in ground pool, I at least want a nice deck built this late Spring so that I can use the pool more easily.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

How long have you lived in your current house? What made you decide to move where you are versus buying where you were thinking of moving? What caused you think about moving now? The long commute?

I can see pros and cons of both to be honest. I still recall uaguy saying he commuted 1 hour because they preferred the lifestyle. So it works. I heard that often from people who work in a city and prefer more rural living. I've friends who specifically knew their commute would be bad because they wanted property.

I just wondered how long have you done it? Once the kids are gone would you still want to move?

[dawnwes]

How long have you lived in your current house? What made you decide to move where you are versus buying where you were thinking of moving? What caused you think about moving now? The long commute?

I can see pros and cons of both to be honest. I still recall uaguy saying he commuted 1 hour because they preferred the lifestyle. So it works. I heard that often from people who work in a city and prefer more rural living. I've friends who specifically knew their commute would be bad because they wanted property.

I just wondered how long have you done it? Once the kids are gone would you still want to move?

We moved here from Los Angeles. We were used to longer commutes and didn't think much about it. However, I wanted to live in the city and agreed to my husband's request to live out a bit. I never wanted to live this far out.

We have lived here a little over 10 years now.

I see pros and cons too, but I think the finances are winning once we got it all on paper. It would be almost $200K between moving costs (realtor, closing, etc..), added $100K cost, even for something smaller, and the added taxes and bills.

For $200K over a 10 year period, we could cover some added college expenses, get some things done we have wanted to do, etc....and we may be able to pay off the house completely as we owe less than $200K now.

I just really need to reset my thinking.

[FLA]

I think your list of pros for staying sound reasonable. You can do a lot with 200k. I am someone who can also list pros and cons til the cows come home. I eventually have to stop, make a leap of (overly analyzed) faith and make a decision. I always feel better when I finally do.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

How old are the kids? Does it makes sense to sell to downsize? Does it makes sense to not say you'll sell in 10 years but if anything changes year to year? You have 3 kids what happens and how long until all 3 leave? 10 years? Or sooner? Would you want the house you have if you had no kids? Would you need the space? Would you want something smaller?

A neighbor currently is moving out of their house this summer their youngest is a senior and leaving. They don't want 4 bedrooms so it's going on the market in a week. They said maybe they'll stay in the area but a 2 bd condo or townhouse is the size they want and can manage. So they are cashing out.

Apparently people are downsizing nowadays a lot faster than previous generations. I wonder if that might not be your case too?