Spending during retirement

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Okay I have to ask about retirement. My DH and I are savers by nature and we're spending right now on a 1 year hiatus from "work". Our moms "retired" at 55 with pensions (they are 63 and 64). FIL is semi "working" as a consultant at 65 and my Dad is 85 and he's still "working" as a consultant. They are all comfortably fixed (no debts, paid for homes, cars, have retirement assets).

My parents came and visited me during Christmas and use a free upgrade to fly first class. They seemed to enjoy it. I said why not upgrade and fly first class back? My mom "Oh no way that's too much money and I don't want to spend my mileage."

Yesterday over the phone my mom says "oh I'm spending a lot of money repairing the house and I still have to save into a Roth IRA since your dad is still working". LAL says "why do you have to save for retirement if you are retired?" Mom says "well of course we have to be saving money. What if I need it later?" How much longer does my mom think my dad will live? 15 more years maybe. And she's got a pensions of at least $3k/month, SS for $1500, my Dad has maximum SS of $3k, and he's taking mandatory distributions from his IRAs/pensions. So my parents are honestly doing very, very well.

My FIL said the same thing "oh i have to start drawing on my RRSP but what am I going to do? I make too much and now the government will get it?" He makes apparently enough from his canadian old age pension to live on without drawing any retirement or touching any money he makes NOW! When I asked him why work, he says "I don't know what else to do with my time."

Seriously folks? Spend your money. I don't get it. We're fine. I feel like our parents feel like they have to work for what? And they are hesitant to draw on their retirements.

Is this what happens to savers? How do others spend in retirement? I pray other people can tell me how their parents spend their money. I'm trying to get them to spend it. I'd rather they enjoy it and not die unfufilled.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Yeah, that might be what happens to savers in retirement. Or it may be what happens to people who've seen in life that you never know what tremendous needs may be in front of you in the future. Or it may be what someone does who wants to leave a fat inheritance for someone that want to provide for. Or it may be what happens to someone who is secretly funding a charity somewhere else in the world. Or--who knows?

[snafu]

LAL, there are so many possibilities. FIL has obviously planned the financial part of retirement but not participant activities or activities he enjoys. He likely identifies with work and gets satisfaction from employment. Having read Patient Saver's blog, I wonder if he feels the sums will be needed for Assisted Living or long term care. What if both MIL and FIL each need $ 5,800. per month in their later years?

[rennigade]

What should they spend it on? Are they happy? Do they have the things they want or need? How many shiny objects does one have to have?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'd like them to spend it on themselves! Do something with it that makes them happy. Travel in style and not coach since they have enough to survive.

Trust me with my parents with the pensions and SS they can afford the assisted living and my dad is 85 how long could he be in a care facility? I don't say that sarcastically but honestly. I'd like them to spend it on flying first class and not be saving in a ROTH Ira. It just sounded INSANE for my mom to be worrying about saving still.

Rennigade i don't know. My in-laws can be cheapskates. They should spend it on themselves more. Actually my FIL drives a new mercedes but I'd like him to spend it all and relax and not be so penny pinching. Actually it's my MIL who pinches he's starting to relax a little and is saying he's going to "retire".

[JoeP]

Sounds like there me be a generational factor. Many people from that time had high interest rates on their home mortgages in the 1980s, some around the mid to high teens. So they had to save in other areas. Also, many of their parents were from the depression era, so they may have some of those saving habits as well.

Speaking as a saver, it is sometimes hard to start spending when you've saved for so long.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I get that, but I am hoping to not be like that. I will admit I find it hard to break the mentality now. I know we should be spending but we are actually still trying to save while not working. It's a hard concept that you've spent your working life "saving" and depriving and now you have all this money to spend.