I need help with my finances !!!

**disneysteve** · 01-17-2014, 05:40 AM

Originally posted by Macy30 View Post

I'm a separated single women with no kids.
I owned money to 2 family members for aproximately $25,000.00.
I owe the IRS $12,000.00
I'm paying back my job $500.00 twice a month for 3 months for an emergency loan
I'm paying back my 401K plan $53.43 until June for another loan.
I make $62,000.00 a year
I took 3 paydays loans

Welcome to the site.

My first question is WHERE DID ALL THE MONEY GO? Why is a single person earning $62,000 having to borrow $25,000 from family, $3,000 from work, a 401k loan and 3 payday loans? You don't have CC debt. You own your car. Your rent is reasonable. So how did you rack up all of that debt?

**cschin4** · 01-17-2014, 06:00 AM

First, take a DEEP breath. You have the means to get out of this mess. Number one, STOP the spending of any and ALL money that you absolutely do not have to spend. And, I mean every dime except what is necessary to survive. Make us a list of your loans, one by one. You need to get the IRS paid first before you pay back your family. Why do you own them so much? What happened with that? But, that should be the first order of business. And, then eat beans and rice and ramen noodles. Once you pay off the IRS, then you can look at paying back your family.

**disneysteve** · 01-17-2014, 06:06 AM

I think posting a list of your monthly budget would be very helpful. We need to see where the money is going. You earn a very good income so there is something missing from the story.

**Macy30** · 01-17-2014, 06:27 AM

I need help with my finances!!!

My ex-husband had cancer a few years ago and at that time I wasn't working when he got sick, we had a home and at that time my family help me with paying the house and the medical bills, the IRS we owed them so much because we also took the money from our 401K Plan to survive the financial stress got to be too much and that's the reason the marriage didn't survive, we lost our house to foreclosure. I came back to work in December of 2012 so it only had been a year and I still help most of last year my ex-husband with the bills. I think that also I was in denial of the breakup of my marriage, I put so much time and effort into getting us through the difficult times that when he asked me for a divorce I never saw it coming, so I was in denial spending much more than I should have, I took 5 trips last year out of the country just to relax my self and enjoy life, but this year is back to real life and getting myself back on track financially.

**feh** · 01-17-2014, 06:27 AM

Originally posted by disneysteve View Post

Welcome to the site.

My first question is WHERE DID ALL THE MONEY GO? Why is a single person earning $62,000 having to borrow $25,000 from family, $3,000 from work, a 401k loan and 3 payday loans? You don't have CC debt. You own your car. Your rent is reasonable. So how did you rack up all of that debt?

+1

Figure out where you are spending your money.

**disneysteve** · 01-17-2014, 06:54 AM

Originally posted by Macy30 View Post

My ex-husband had cancer a few years ago and at that time I wasn't working when he got sick, we had a home and at that time my family help me with paying the house and the medical bills, the IRS we owed them so much because we also took the money from our 401K Plan to survive the financial stress got to be too much and that's the reason the marriage didn't survive, we lost our house to foreclosure. I came back to work in December of 2012 so it only had been a year and I still help most of last year my ex-husband with the bills. I think that also I was in denial of the breakup of my marriage, I put so much time and effort into getting us through the difficult times that when he asked me for a divorce I never saw it coming, so I was in denial spending much more than I should have, I took 5 trips last year out of the country just to relax my self and enjoy life, but this year is back to real life and getting myself back on track financially.

So it sounds like a combination of life happening (medical expenses) and over-spending (5 international vacations in one year).

I'm wondering why you were still paying your ex's bills even after divorcing. Was that court ordered?

What you need to do now is what I suggested earlier. List your monthly expenses. Also list each debt with outstanding balance, monthly payment, and interest rate. When we see that, we can really help you form a plan to attack it all. The good news is you make plenty of money. You should be able to clean this all up pretty quickly.

**jpham540** · 01-17-2014, 07:22 AM

I agree we need to know your expense. Also you can use an online budgeting website called Mint.com this is a good website to start with.

**Macy30** · 01-17-2014, 07:32 AM

I need help with my finances!!!

I will post my twice a month expenses starting with my check of January 15th, that was my 1st paycheck of the year. I'll do it from home, right now I'm at work.
Thank you for all your answers, it had been very helpful.

**llckll** · 01-17-2014, 08:09 AM

Along with your expenses, make sure you list any other kind of discretionary income you're spending.. are you going out with friends, eating out, any gym membeships, etc, so that we can help you squeeze any additional income you don't need right now to put towards your debt.

**cschin4** · 01-17-2014, 11:59 AM

5 trips last year out of the country? That is certainly a place to start. It is understandable you are going through an extremely stressful time. But, running away from your problems via out of country trips is exacerbating the issues. You have to face your finances squarely in the eye and you WILL conquer this. If you take a true hard look, you will get on your feet. You have a good income and you are in a good place with your living expenses. You can do this! Money management is not a number. It is a mindset. It is how you think about your money and debt and finances and it becomes a way of life. I absolutely HATE debt. HATE it. Now, I have used debt for school, home, car, but because I hate it with a white hot passion, I have been able to completely pay off everything and am completely debt free. It becomes about walking out your daily goals to get to where you want to be.

**TheKayla** · 01-17-2014, 01:42 PM

I think first of all you need to find a free outlet for any stress. Taking vacations you can't afford and purchasing material goods or any other experiences you can't afford isn't the right choice. You seem to be getting past that now, but keep in mind it could happen all over again in the next major life stressor. It's good to change those habits now to find a healthier alternative than ruining your finances. Then, as the others have said list out your budget, get it in order, save an EF and a bit of liquid cash (to avoid going into more debt for life's surprises) and work on staying within budget while paying off those debts.

**andyross** · 01-23-2014, 02:17 AM

Depending on your income level, employment situation, etc., calculating how much you earn in one month isn�t always easy.
Your fixed expenses are the things you have to pay every month, and usually cost the same amount each month Put all of your own fixed expense amounts into your budget first, because you know these are things you have to pay for each and every month. If the total budgeted amount at the bottom is already getting close to your monthly take home pay, you either need to find a way to lower your fixed expenses (move to pay cheaper rent, cut something out, etc.) or make more money.

**bjl584** · 01-23-2014, 06:08 AM

The good news is that you make a nice income and should be able to clear this up in a few years if not sooner.

Regarding the divorce; Are you still supporting your ex financially? If so, you need to stop immediately. Also, is the divorce finalized? Have all of the assets been split and is his name taken off of all of your accounts? Make sure to do that if it hasn't already been done.

**Augustine** · 01-24-2014, 12:10 AM

Originally posted by cschin4 View Post

You can do this! Money management is not a number. It is a mindset. It is how you think about your money and debt and finances and it becomes a way of life.

I think the starting point is for you to actually believe you CAN change your financial situation for the better. Next, you need to know where you want to be financially by a specified future date. This will help you identify the various expenses that are pulling you in the opposite direction to where you want to go. From the look of things, controlling your expenses is the most likely place to start.

I need help with my finances !!!