Cutting back is hard emotionally

[Sean_DeSilva]

Cutting back isn't just a financial decision but a cognitive one. As you develop habitshabits, your brain actually rewires itself. This is why breaking habits is hard. My advice is take it slow. August Little take longer that way, but in six months time you will be amazed by the change you make.

[Like2Plan]

A place in Grand Central sells Doughnut Plant's coconut cream doughnuts.

Speaking of getting side tracked- now I can't stop thinking about doughnuts.... (And I don't even like doughnuts! LOL) My DS loves: New York City and doughnuts. He is going to have to check this out on his next visit.

[disneysteve]

I think the root of the problem with majority of your patients is that they really, honestly not understand what healthy living involves.

I totally agree. Our society has gotten really off track in this regard. Supermarkets are so huge and filled with so much crap that people don't now what to pick anymore. We've also moved away from cooking from scratch to the point where many people truly don't even know how to do it. Mac and cheese comes from a box and nowhere else. Soup comes from a can. Bread comes pre-sliced in a plastic bag. Pasta sauce comes in a jar ready to use. When was the last time someone told you they got a bushel of fresh tomatoes and cooked their own pasta sauce?

Marketing has also created all kinds of labels on packages to suggest that they are healthy: low fat, sugar free, gluten free, diet, 100 calorie, organic, free range, grass fed, wild caught, etc. People don't know what most of those things mean so they end up confused and overwhelmed.

[Nika]

Oh, when I do eat junk, it is freshly cooked junk.

My favorite crepe cake is made that morning and sold out by afternoon. It is made with real eggs milk, cream even butter, whatever. I can't fathom what the "eclair" that can sit in a box on a shelf for 6 weeks is made with, but I can guess it is not good for me and has even less nutrition(taste is not even comparable).

There is food, and there are "food products". These lower calorie options (such as jello pudding or coffee creamers... I look at the ingredients and I just can't bring myself to eat that. I feel that somehow I am probably better off just eating less of higher calorie normal food.

Like 2 plan, he should go to their Grand street location. That is the one that actually bakes them and there is more selection there and they come out all the time.

[atomicrc11]

It really comes down to making a plan and sticking to it. I've never maxed out a Roth IRA or 401k, but I always put in money as the months went on. That's OK because that is the plan.

I run a lot as well and I always buy two new pairs of shoes when they are on sale because you can hurt yourself when running too long in old shoes. So I make that a priority for me and cut back elsewhere.

If you save you can still go on vacations, maybe just not as big a vacation. That also means, if you save enough and put it into the budget you can go on that one big trip every once in a long while.

I also had trouble giving up things like coffee and soda, but over time a weaned back and now drink less expensive coffee and nearly no soda. That doesn't mean I never have a Starbucks, but it's the frequency that is left. You need to pick something and work on it. Deal with the problems one at a time and figure out how to make things work for you.

Saving is a great thing, but you might not be here tomorrow so I don't see the point in living a lifestyle so minimal that you're not happy with it. You need to find that balance.

Also, DisneySteve, speaking to the fact of making sauce, I made my last batch fresh two weeks ago. So people do still make things from scratch!

[Gailete]

Speaking as someone from the other side of the tracks so to speak, I'm proud of the contributions to my Roth IRA I have been able to make. While I'm entitled to deposit $6500 a year, that amount would impact our family to the point of no food/electric/heat for the year. So I was able to deposit $1200 this year and close to a thousand into my stock fund. It doesn't seem like much, but then I'm not going to be trying to have an upper middle class retirement. Both of these funds are funded by profits from my on line store. I found that setting up an amount by percentages helps me each month make deposits, more on months that sales were high and lower when sales were poor. But each month things have been climbing up. I don't feel in the least deprived of anything by what I'm depositing and once you get into the habit it feels natural and the little voice telling you that you can't afford it this month kind of wanders off.

I can't even imagine what I would do with an income that would provide the vacations and trips that the OP mentioned. Never been part of my life and never will. I do indulge in a few things that are important to me and sure I could save the money and put it into savings, but my life already consists of staying at home most of the time. Hubby and I never got out on a 'date' this year since neither of us felt well enough at the same time, so my luxuries aren't big but do give me satisfaction and I'm talking of picking up 1-2 magazines on quilting or sewing of some kind. Both entertainment value and increases my knowledge for my business.

We all have to walk in our own shoes and make the best decisions based on our own lifestyle and what is important to us.

[dojo]

Define 'good life'. Not for me, for yourself.

We all need to understand that, unless we're billionaires, we cannot afford everything. But we can set our priorities and make efforts to meet them. In our case traveling was always something important to us and we were able to afford it by cutting costs elsewhere (we don't eat out, we don't purchase too much clothing, although we have everything we need, we don't buy new gadgets every year, we run our cars for more than 3-4 years etc.).

This allows to us be frugal in few areas (so that we can remain debt free and save), while the priorities in our lives are being met by freeing up money from the things we don't care too much about.

It's clearly an adjustment for everybody, but once you have determined your priorities you'll find that those few things really make you happy, while the rest doesn't matter that much to worry anymore

[scfr]

I want to enjoy life best we can, not everything is "for later", but a ROTH is a clear line in the sand.

But when faced with each individual purchase or booking a vacation, it is really an emotional struggle to say no to a life you are used to.

For me, it boils down to asking myself 2 questions:
1. What is it about ___(fill in the blank: vacation, eating out, clothes, whatever purchase or expenditure I am contemplating)___ that brings me joy?
2. What are some alternatives that could bring me just as much joy with a lower financial cost?

For example, at the end of a hard week at work I may want to go out to eat so that I can decompress, sit down and really TALK with my husband (for some reason it is more likely to happen if we are out some place than both at home doing out own thing), not have to deal with cooking & a bunch of dishes, and feel rewarded for the hard week of work that I put in. The joy in that is time to talk with my husband, feeling rewarded, and reduced stress/workload. As an alternative to going out for a full dinner, an alternative that gives me just as much joy with a lower financial cost is to go to a restaurant that offers a Happy Hour with half price appetizers and drinks. Sit in the bar, order a couple half-price appetizers & a glass of wine, linger & have a nice chat, leave an appropriate tip (based on full price), then go home and have a big salad to round out the meal with no cooking & minimal cleanup. For me, it strikes a nice balance. I'm not deprived. I'm not being cheap. And I'm saving "future me" (the one who will hit retirement age eventually) from stress and hardship.

Nika - If you decide to give my technique a try, I hope you continue to enjoy life while also finding the peace that comes from knowing you have made your future more financially secure.

[Gailete]

When was the last time someone told you they got a bushel of fresh tomatoes and cooked their own pasta sauce?

Canning, freezing, making my own jam are some of the things I miss the most since my arthritis got so bad. I used to do so much of that and loved keeping track and using what I had put away. Even so, now when I manage to make spaghetti sauce, I make a big enough batch that I can freeze a couple containers for further meals. Same with pizza sauce and with the help of my bread maker can easily make our own pizzas. Even that is going by the wayside though as I am losing my ability to stand for more than a few minutes at a time which makes cooking very difficult and painful. I now have to hire household help and find a way to pay for it.

I guess instead of cutting back, in many ways I'm having to spend more on things I would have never thought I would have paid for and believe me that is weird!

[Nika]

When was the last time someone told you they got a bushel of fresh tomatoes and cooked their own pasta sauce?

When was the last time you saw a tomato that was ripe and smelled like a tomato?

Price wise, a bushel of tomatoes is way more expensive than a jar of sauce. The reason I cook many meals from scratch are health reasons, and wanting to know what is in my food. In terms of cost, buying pre-made would be much cheaper. But I choose to look at is as front end/and back end cost. What I pay more on the front end for healthier food options, I hope to save on the back end 20 years from now by having lesser healthcare costs.

Oh, just to update on my few big cutting back measures.
1. DH got a side job teaching a graduate course. That is extra income.
2. He got a promotion at work (a modest raise) and I got a cost of living adjustment (not anything big, but still something). His promotion was long in the works and was very stressfull to get (several dozen people competing for 5 spots).
3. I cancelled our 3 day reservation for Marriott Marquis in Time Square that I made to be there on New Years Eve. We were going to play tourists for 3 days in the city that we live in and know well, and relax in a nice hotel, being in the center of everything. But that was clearly an indulgence, and after much debating I decided to save the resources and instead go some place more exotic, later in the year, after our goals are on schedule.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'm pondering that too but I'm going to post about moving. Have you considered moving?