Should I let my teen drive?

**disneysteve** · 08-06-2013, 01:29 PM

If your teen wants to drive, she should be at least contributing to the cost.

If you don't trust that she will refrain from texting while driving - or talking on the cell phone at all while driving for that matter - then she has no business being behind the wheel.

**moneybags** · 08-06-2013, 04:29 PM

Originally posted by momofteens View Post

I'm wondering if I should let my teen drive or if I should wait until she turns 18 (she is turning 16 soon). Drivers Ed is expensive and her insurance will be too even if I get her a good quality used car (another expense). For parents that have already gone through this, if it worth the cost to let your teen drive? Would you let them do it again or in hindsight, should have you waited longer?

I'm also worried about texting and driving. If I do let her drive, how can I put in place accountability so that she doesn't text and drive?

I think I have covered the major expenses, but am I forgetting some that will also come if I let her drive? I'm torn whether the benefit will be worth the cost.

I have a 19 y/o and a 16 y/o. Both got their licenses when they turned 16. I think there is a benefit to them being able to drive themselves places. It also gives them some independence. In regards to the texting, my kids have been taught that it is against the law and against my rules. As with anything else in life, I can just hope that they have listened to me, but I am not in the car with them.

Yes it is expensive, and I know families that have made their kids wait until they turned 18 because they could not afford the cost. If your teen gets their license and lives in your house, you will be required to put them on your insurance regardless of whether or not they have their own car.

**snafu** · 08-06-2013, 10:11 PM

Both DSs took driver's ed at 16 y/o. It seems to be a rite of passage for teens in this community. My DB had taken each of them out to a large private parking lot early Sunday mornings to teach them to drive stick shifts as soon as they had their step 1 license. There were rules set before they ever got behind the wheel. To make sure DS1 took it seriously, DH had him read and sign a 'contract.' It was very effective making DS1 aware of his grown-up responsibility.

Each boy shared a car with me. For a short time three of us shared a car. Each boy earned money or used birthday funds to pay half the cost of Driver's Ed. They had to fund gas used from allowance or asking friends to contribute to transportation costs. As under 25 y/o males insurance is expensive, summer money earned was contributed to insurance. Due to parking issues at college DS1 found it convenient to use public transportation. Sharing made it important to communicate and get the car home when needed by another. It was a serious breech to bring it home with the red empty gas light lit. We all still fill the tank on the way home rather than let it drop below 1/4 tank.

Any infraction of house rules meant relinquishing car key fob. DS2 was embarrassed to drive an ugly car. He bought a beater much to my horror but it was a good experience. He learned a lot of car repair in a short time and we've all benefitted.

**Deteria** · 08-07-2013, 02:34 PM

Should start them young, or else they gonna be crappy drivers the older they get. I started driving when I was 16 and I drive fairly well compared to most idiots I see on the road. Clean record, never pulled over for speeding.

You need to train your daughter to be careful and know the meaning/value of having a car. Most kids these days take cars for granted, especially if parents buy it for them. Train them to be cautious early on, and hopefully they will respect what you given them and it'll make them a better driver the older they get.

Set some sort of consequences on misbehavior while driving (texting/speeding tickets/etc). Make them have something to lose if things go downhill.

**ua_guy** · 08-07-2013, 03:37 PM

Get them started as early as possible. Help them build confidence and skill, by having them drive everywhere with you as passenger while they have their learner's permit. Don't let them be timid or afraid of any vehicle...they should learn and be equipped to drive any vehicle, anywhere, anytime. Encourage them to be better drivers-- than you, than their friends, than most adults on the road. Encourage respect and pride in their vehicles, and yours. Encourage the use of your vehicle, or theirs, when it comes to driving with their peers. If you have a confident and skilled teenage driver, you absolutely want them in control of the situation and behind the wheel, versus someone who is not, and to also be in a vehicle that is well-insured, and well-maintained, safe (ideally yours, or their own). It takes a responsible kid to follow along and learn to be a good driver, and to want to learn good skill. Driving was taught to me as a privilege, a reward for good grades and good behavior.

Most state-approved, basic driver's ed courses are a joke, and so are the exams. Invest in additional skilled training for your kid. I've had to go through a bunch of training as a professional, and if I ever have kids, or if my sister ever asks me for help with her kids and their driving--yep! We'll be setting up cones, blind corners, parallel parking spaces, and the kids will learn to do the course forwards, backwards, in the dark, and with unfamiliar vehicles, large and small. Lack of driver confidence absolutely kills me to witness, and it's painful to be held prisoner like that in someone else's vehicle with an unskilled driver.

If you could use to brush up on skill as an adult, think about taking an advanced course with your kid. No harm in doing that, and it could be fun.

$0.02

**mo0n** · 08-07-2013, 10:16 PM

I'm going to try not to come across too fanatical about this...but YES, let her get her license, because she will at least have one, and will have to learn the responsibility of driving a car (as well as having insurance). Does the cost of insuring a teen suck? Apparently so from what I've read and heard. However, I hate the fact that my insurance premiums go up because people around me don't bother to get actual driver's licenses and drive uninsured vehicles. [/rant]

And driving is a privilege. A privilege that can be taken away by you, the parent, or by the state in which you live.

**breathemusic** · 08-08-2013, 07:02 AM

I think you should allow your kids to get their liscense even if you don't get them their own car. The choice to provide a car is your decision in terms of finances (though I think a kid should be responsible for paying for their own fuel at the very least, if not also helping to pay for insurance). But even if she doesn't have her own car to drive, you never know when you might be stuck in a situation where you're riding with someone else and for some reason you need to take over driving responsibilities.

Of course, then getting the liscense will only be useful if you make sure she continues to drive enough to build driving skills.

**BMEPhDinCO** · 08-08-2013, 09:36 AM

I agree with others...

Yes to getting her license

Yes to her contributing to the costs

Yes to you trusting that you raised her well enough to respect you and the law and that she'll be a responsible driver.

Here's a few scenarios for when she'd want a license..

1. You get hurt at home and need to go to the hospital - she can drive.

2. She's at a party, friends are drinking but they are her ride... with a license (and being sober), she could take over so they wouldn't have an accident.

3. Long road trip - she can chip in on driving

4. You and those over 21 want to take a drinking tour (beer, wine, whatever) - she can be your DD.

That said, a car is different and that would be up to whether it fits in your budget, it fits in your house area (parking issues), she is able to contribute to gas costs, etc, and she will be able to be responsible with having it.

The license is a for sure yes, the car is more optional but I'd say if y'all can come up with a good budget, she does the research for a good, cheap, safe car, and is able to help with gas and insurance then it would also be a yes.

**annibe11e** · 08-09-2013, 07:52 AM

Yes, absolutely let her get her license. It's an important and exciting rite of passage. Plus, I think it's important to show trust in teenagers. My son was the type that makes you worry, but he's a smart kid that just did some stupid stuff occasionally. But, the more I showed trust in him, the more trustworthy he became. I started him out with a $1500 car, a little gas money and liability only insurance. He's still on my insurance and it's $64 a month over what I would pay without him on it. He's 19 and pays for everything himself now. He brings me his insurance money on time without being asked.

**lorraineb** · 08-09-2013, 11:24 AM

For emergencies, I think having her have the ability to drive is important. Also make sure she learns how to drive a stick.

**moneybags** · 08-09-2013, 04:14 PM

Originally posted by lorraineb View Post

For emergencies, I think having her have the ability to drive is important. Also make sure she learns how to drive a stick.

I'm not sure if driving a stick is a regional thing, but I have never driven a stick (been driving for many, many years) nor have I needed to, so I don't think that applies to everyone. Thus, my kids have not been taught to drive stick, and it is not in the plans.

Should I let my teen drive?