College and Careers

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Chatting with other moms it's fun to see how people view college. More funny is seeing how people choose to pay for college or not.

I want to pay for my kids college if I can, but I will also encourage certain majors over others because they allow for financial flexibility. They will give my kids the ability to work part time, anywhere, higher pay, etc. I feel this way for both sons and daughters. I just think it's important to explain what it means to walk out with student loans and paying it off with $x salary. I wish my parents had talked to me and helped me find a better career path. But they weren't so helpful.

Did or will you influence where your child goes to college? Did or will you influence what career they pick? Do you think education is the most important thing?

I have a friend whose parents will have spent over $500k on her boarding high school, private university, and private graduate school and she is a elementary school teacher making $40k. They paid for everything and she has no loans. I don't think it was a very wise investment and I wonder if things would have been different if she had to have paid for it. Could you do this for your child? Are parents obliged to support their kids dreams no matter what at any cost?

[moneybags]

Did or will you influence where your child goes to college? Did or will you influence what career they pick? Do you think education is the most important thing?

Could you do this for your child? Are parents obliged to support their kids dreams no matter what at any cost?

My DD just finished her freshman year. I let her pick her college. It is a perfect fit for her. I am a big proponent of "the right fit = success". I believe education is the most important thing; that is why we made it a priority to save for our kids' educations. DD is responsible for a portion of her college costs.

As of now, she has not decided on a career. I am going to try to influence her to pick a degree in which she can make money. It gives you flexibility in life. That said, I will not force her to pick a career that she will not be happy with. Happiness over money (within reason ).

Parents are not obliged to support their kids dreams at all. Obviously, you have control over your money. I know parents that put parameters on their college funding. For example, one family only paid for college if their child picked a Christian college. You just have to make it clear up front what your rules are.

[Blessed]

My oldest decided not to go yet ( 2 years out of high school). His $40K will sit until he is 31. My younger graduates from HS next year. He knows what he has to work with $ wise before he needs loans. He is pretty economical and is already taking college credits in HS at no cost. He has it all planned out to get through without loans. The kids have what they have for college and that is that. We have 2 state colleges and a tech within 30 minutes so there are no dorm costs etc. We refuse to jeopardize retirement for it. It is guaranteed will need to retire. It is not guaranteed college will make success. The choice of degree is all theirs. There are no parameters besides when it is gone it is gone.

[disneysteve]

Did or will you influence where your child goes to college? Did or will you influence what career they pick? Do you think education is the most important thing?

We are in the college selection process right now.

Will I influence where she goes? I'll certainly weigh in on that decision but it will have little if anything to do with cost. She needs to go to a school that will be a good fit for her. If one school is 20K but she's miserable and another is 50K and she loves the place, then I want her to go to the 50K school.

Will I influence her career choice? No. I can't tell her what she will or won't enjoy doing for the rest of her life. That's a decision that only she can make. I'll talk with her and help her think that through and make sure she's considering all angles and getting good exposure along the way to be sure she likes what she thinks she likes but ultimately it has to be her decision.

Do I think education is the most important thing? I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that. Certainly education is important and a degree is vital for most good jobs. But I'm a firm believer that there is a whole lot more to college than what happens in the classroom. The maturation process, the controlled independence, the socialization, learning to live on your own, etc. are all vitally important.

Just last night we were dealing with these very questions. DD was registering for a 2-day college summer program at her first choice school in July. She had to pick 4 classes to attend from a list of about 80 options. I worked with her to make those selections and encouraged her to pick some things that might be out of the box she is focused on (mechanical engineering). I explained that this was a perfect opportunity to explore a variety of topics and that she never knows when she'll find something that really attracts her interest. She agreed and picked a couple of things that she wouldn't otherwise have chosen.

[Manthony]

I'd save the money and teach your kids how to invest and start their own business with that "college" money where all they will learn is how to work for someone else. That's what the rich teach their kids. They'd never recommend "going to college", at least not in the same way that the middle class does.

[disneysteve]

I'd save the money and teach your kids how to invest and start their own business with that "college" money where all they will learn is how to work for someone else. That's what the rich teach their kids. They'd never recommend "going to college", at least not in the same way that the middle class does.

In a couple of other threads, you told people not to invest in their 401k plans. Now you're saying not to go to college either. Great advice.

How about telling us your story Manthony? What do you do for a living? I assume you are a business owner of some sort since you are so opposed to working for others.

And somehow I doubt that the rich don't expect their kids to go to school and get an education and a degree.

[dawnwes]

With only 6 posts and some very bad advice given out, I am thinking he is actually trying to bait us into asking him what his fantastic business might be because he must have some "inside scoop."

In a couple of other threads, you told people not to invest in their 401k plans. Now you're saying not to go to college either. Great advice.

How about telling us your story Manthony? What do you do for a living? I assume you are a business owner of some sort since you are so opposed to working for others.

And somehow I doubt that the rich don't expect their kids to go to school and get an education and a degree.

[dawnwes]

We have thought a lot about this and our decision is not popular with most people. But it seems that in any parenting decision one gets flack.

DH and I both have MAs. We feel college is very important and necessary, so to that end we do want to provide our children with the financial opportunity to go to college.

What we have come up with is this: We can afford the local 4 year (State) colleges out of pocket if they live at home. It will provide them with a college degree.

They are free to choose another college that is pricier or go away to college, but they will have to pay the difference. Our offer to cover tuition, fees, and books equivalent to the local college still stands.

Careers, I won't push anything particular, but I have a good grasp on their strengths and weaknesses and a general idea of where their interests lie. I will encourage them to follow their strengths.

BTW: We have three children.

Dawn

[feh]

Did or will you influence where your child goes to college? Did or will you influence what career they pick?

Our son will have a fixed amount (whatever is in his 529) to use for college. That amount will likely be enough for 3-4 years at a good state college. The choice of college will be up to him; if his choice costs more than what the 529 holds, paying the difference will be his responsibility.

We will not direct him to a specific degree/career. However, we will educate him about which careers are more lucrative and/or easy to land a job. At the same time, I think it's most important to do something you enjoy. I can't imagine going to a job you hate just for a larger paycheck.

I have a friend whose parents will have spent over $500k on her boarding high school, private university, and private graduate school and she is a elementary school teacher making $40k. They paid for everything and she has no loans. I don't think it was a very wise investment and I wonder if things would have been different if she had to have paid for it. Could you do this for your child? Are parents obliged to support their kids dreams no matter what at any cost?

Absolutely not. Whenever I hear stories like this all I can do is shake my head.

[disneysteve]

Our son will have a fixed amount (whatever is in his 529) to use for college. That amount will likely be enough for 3-4 years at a good state college.

Our situation is similar. What is in her 529 will pay for a year at a private school or 2 years at a state school. We will cash flow some costs during college years but beyond that will be on her - grants, scholarships, loans, work.

[JoeP]

I wish I had better guidance prior to going into college, at least in the area of selecting a major. I really enjoy what I do, but felt a pull toward geology and meteorology in my sophomore year. Ended up staying for computer science and do not regret it. Still part of me is fascinated with geology and weather!

So my kids will have the opportunity to experience the same, and I'd suggest a school that has a pretty broad course selection so that they can take electives that interest them and potentially switch majors or earn dual majors.

Of course, cost comes into the picture, so we will likely narrow it down to 5 schools we can afford, which have the majors of interest, and let them chose.

[bigdaddybus]

My parents offered to pay for 2 years to whatever school I chose which I used for 1.5yrs for a state school before joining the ARMY to "grow up". I later finish my degree with help from the GI Bill.

I will try to influence my childrens choices, but I am still young enough to remember that I really wasnt interested in hearing my parents thoughts when I was 18.

I have 4 kids and paying for 4 years for all 4 is just not going to happen. I am on track to offer them the same as my parents did (pay first 2 years) and my wife and I have a much closer relationship with our kids than I had growing up so I believe they will listen to my recommendations more than I did at their age.
I really dont want my children to join the military like I did, but it is a good option to learn some disipline and earn money for college.

I do hope that my children enjoy their careers more than I do. Though I make a very good living, it is not very rewarding work, and the golden handcuffs are tight. (pension, 5%+ raises per year, great benifits, flex work hours, etc)

[MonkeyMama]

I will pay forward what my parents gave me. A+ career guidance and cost/benefit analysis of various college and career choices. We will financially help our kids with smart choices; they are on their own with not-so-wise choices. There seemed to be no downside to this approach. My parents were very big on "follow your passions, but just don't be stupid about it."

My parents were supportive of me going to State (while living at home). I think we are probably going to more heavily push community college with our kids, because they are two years apart. It was just a situation my parents didn't have, and looking back they were pretty generous because they had gone the community college route. That said, State was so inexpensive. If it cost the same today I suppose I'd have no problem if both kids went, especially if they lived at home or paid their own room and board (which is what I ended up doing). We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Encouraging our kids to stay close to home will be biggies for keeping costs down. Which is fine because they have several excellent options to choose from. (I am primarily thinking as to staying in-state to keep costs down, more than anything else. Tuition and travel and everything else). We are open to most anything - decisions won't be made for a long time and it will just depend on many factors. I am just not going to offer to pay $200,000 for an undecided major. I watched most my very bright high school friends throw money away on useless undergrads at prestigious universities, and then struggle to afford to pay for useful degrees at community college and state. That seems so totally backwards to me. I'd rather my kids attend community college, mature and get career guidance, and then put that saved money to the best college choice for their passions. Funding two years of school and room and board feels very doable. Community college costs pennies where we live, and secures admission to prestigious in-state public Universities for years three and four. So this seems to be the most sensible route. There may be something more sensible based on each individual child - so those are bridges to cross when we get to them.

[MonkeyMama]

Chatting with other moms it's fun to see how people view college.

The thing that always bothered me as a new mom was the rigidity with which most people have it all figured out. Most especially if they had a bad college experience. "Well, my experience was bad, so if I just do the complete opposite with my child it will be PERFECT!" That's just how it kind of comes across to me.

The truth is I have nothing about nothing figured out when it comes to college. IT's going to depend so much on all of the variables and factors when we get to that point, and I Think each individual child is going to be that biggest factor. My kids are 8 & 10 and I am getting a sense with the directions I think they will go on. I expect them to change very much in the next decade though. It's definitely premature to figure it all out. Likewise, though my spouse and I worked very much through school I don't see the same job market *today.* This is one of those things that will depend. College costs are different today. Different skills are in demand today. Yadda yadda. Our focus is more to keep a lot of options open, and to know what our options are, so that we can help our kids make the best decisions for them.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

True who knows how expensive college will be in 15 years when I need it. I'd love to pay 4 years for both kids and any others I have but I can't jeopardize our retirement.