Marriage and combining fiances

[phantom]

Thanks for all of the replies. We will be getting counseling before marriage. I haven't brought up the subject again. I told him we should talk about it, but he wanted to put it off, and we never got back to talking again.

I realize I was angry and being harsh with him, he works hard (14+ hour days) between his work and education. He supported me emotionally and physically through a very severe illness (that almost killed me). So I am willing to work on this, but I want to sort out all of the details first before I say "I do."

No matter whether you're right or wrong, it's always important to be able to realize when you're being a jerk. I wouldn't hold off too long on restarting the money discussion, but I think it's reasonable to let it go for a little while. Unless there's a clear end to his 14+ hour days in sight, just be aware that there might never be an ideal time to have the tough discussions, and you can't put them off forever.

Some sort of counseling before getting married is always a good idea. It really helps to have a third party encouraging you to talk about the things you'll have to agree on as a married couple. My husband and I went to a class offered through our church before we got married, and it was very useful.

[thesimplemoneyblog]

Some sort of counseling before getting married is always a good idea. It really helps to have a third party encouraging you to talk about the things you'll have to agree on as a married couple. My husband and I went to a class offered through our church before we got married, and it was very useful.

This is great advice. Even if someone felt they had the best relationship around, seeking counseling before getting married helps bring out a lot of these things we likely don't regularly think or talk about: perceptions of money, dealing with in-laws, children, family history (if lots of divorces, estranged relationships, alcoholism, etc.). The best advice my wife and I got was that I should communicate with my family and she communicate with her family where OUR wishes don't comport to THEIR wishes.