First Real Job...No Idea How to Save

[Whitechapel]

You're right. You do need help becuase the whole want/need difference clearly isn't sinking in for you. Listen to yourself... you just splurged on cable and internet and yet you're thinking about borrowing $1000 from your mom. Where is the logic in this?? YOU CAN'T AFFORD LUXURIES RIGHT NOW. Cancel that setup ASAP, use *that* money to pay the doctors bill. How are you going to save up your Dec. rent if that's going to be 2/3 of your next check? Then you'll have like $200 to live off of until you get paid mid-December and you're just throwing yourself into this endless cycle of being behind. You have to change your habits if you want to get out of this.

OK. You're right. I'm an idiot and I lose at life so I'll just cancel everything. I know you don't like me but your posts just drip with hatred towards me. No cable, no internet, I'll start eating healthy. Well healthy doesn't even matter, I'll just buy a few small cheap things and if I go to bed starving then OK. I can't afford to eat, so what does it matter? I don't know what you want from me. This is 27 years of bad spending habits, all I want is some sympathy WHILE I TRY AND FIX 27 YEARS OF BAD SPENDING HABITS. Or not, whatever. It'll continue to be post after post of "YOU CANT AFFORD THIS." so what the hell is the point of me even posting anymore? I know what the answer is going to be for every single thing now.

I'm being serious. I've had a really ****ty morning, I called off B&N and we just called it quits since tomorrow was my last day. And the whole 20-30 bucks I'd make next week. I guess I should call B&N back and beg for my 2 days left back because I'm broke, I'm an idiot, and I can't live without that little extra cash. I'll call my mom and tell her to forget the email. Why the **** am I even moving? I'll call and cancel that too. My roommates lease is up next month so I'd have nowhere to go. Might as well quit this job and move back in with my parent. Or **** just become homeless. I'd rather be homeless than move back home. Then I wouldn't have any expenses.

I'm literally at wits end with life right now. I'm not being sarcastic either, I'm seriously going to call as soon as I get home and cancel my internet and cable. I mean every little thing, it's gone. I can't afford it. I don't deserve it. I'll just come home from work, read a book for 4 hours, and go to bed.

So there, you finally got what you've been needing to hear. You're the better person because you know how to save and spend. I'm a failure because I'm just learning good habits. **** why the hell did I even go to college? I can't afford it. I'm not being sarcastic, I'm fed up with everything at the moment. And if you can't tell, I am extremely stressed out right now. And I can't go home and chill because I can't afford it. So this **** will just continue to eat me alive. Now I suppose you're going to take all of this negatively, naturally. And you'll say you're fed up with me and threaten to not post, which is fine. You're not the only contributor in this thread. And even Steve has been there after arguing with me, but hell at least he doesn't sit there and talk down at me.

When I get stressed, I get frustrated. When I get frustrated, I get angry. And then this festers inside of me until it all comes out in a blaze of just hatred and lack of appreciation for life. I'm a very volatile person when under stress. And it seems that everything I enjoy in life, I can't do. And no, this isn't just party stuff. This is stuff I do that I like to do, like building websites for friends. But I can't, I don't have any money. I dont have internet to play video games or do research. I can't watch Seinfeld every day I get off work. I mean literally, I can't do anything right in your eyes. So be it, I'm a **** up.

How dare I not have perfect spending habits after 9 days of really trying for the first time in my life to get on top of my financial game. I'm a failure as a man. I'll call my apartment after I get off work and tell her to scrap the whole thing. I'll lose 100 bucks out of the deal, but at least I wont be wasting 635 a month living on my own. I'll even ask for the $99 I had to pay for an app fee back. **** at this point I welcome a cold lonely death out in the street rather than continue on. No funeral, no friends, just finally out of this forsaken planet.

So everyone's happy, right? I'm self destructing literally in front of this forum's eyes. You got what you wanted out of me. Spare me any mocking, I came here for help and understanding. I'm trying to get a piece of sanity back in my life but I cannot make one single decision correctly.

[elessar78]

Sorry, dude. It's not the advice you want to hear but it IS good advice.

You need to get creative on how to watch the football games. Friends' houses? P2P sites? Find out where there's free internet. Library and Starbucks are everywhere. Malls usually have free internet. You can start reading more. Go to bed earlier. Work out more (pretend like you're in prison).

You have a lot of hard decisions to make and we've given you the smart advice on how to get your finances on track and get off on the right foot.

That's the way this board is: People are disciplined, frugal, and savings Nazis.

[elessar78]

OK...

Okay, take a deep breath. Don't self destruct.

Living at home is tough, eh? No one is denying that.

Video games, get a PS2. They're super cheap now. Get an older game, you can get those for 9 bucks. You could kill 4 hours a night easy for an initial investment of $30. No joke.

Seinfeld? I just looked it up on ebay you can get the complete set for $24. Buy a season for $8.

What else would you like to do? Go play sports in the park. Go volunteer your time.

[Whitechapel]

Video games, get a PS2. They're super cheap now. Get an older game, you can get those for 9 bucks. You could kill 4 hours a night easy for an initial investment of $30. No joke.

Seinfeld? I just looked it up on ebay you can get the complete set for $24. Buy a season for $8.

I can't afford it.

[Whitechapel]

Sorry, dude. It's not the advice you want to hear but it IS good advice.

You need to get creative on how to watch the football games. Friends' houses? P2P sites? Find out where there's free internet. Library and Starbucks are everywhere. Malls usually have free internet. You can start reading more. Go to bed earlier. Work out more (pretend like you're in prison).

You have a lot of hard decisions to make and we've given you the smart advice on how to get your finances on track and get off on the right foot.

That's the way this board is: People are disciplined, frugal, and savings Nazis.

I dont have friends. I have A friend where I'm moving. P2P are illegal. I already to go bed between 9 and 10 PM. I can't afford a gym.

[disneysteve]

I wont sell my HD TV, it was a gift.

So what? It is an item of value that you could put to better use. If it were something of sentimental value I could understand - a piece of jewelry or artwork perhaps - but not with a TV. You can always buy another one.

You guys are making it sound like all I can have is the bare minimum. No internet, no cable. So I'll just sit around my apartment all night with my thumb up my ass. Come on. There is no day that goes by where I don't use the internet, it's a need. Maybe not for you, but I'm not you. It's also football season, the one sport I follow consistently. I could go to the bar and watch it, but I can't afford a single beer. I'm not allowed to have internet and cable even if I'm managing all the other expenses better? I said I'd cut down on all the extra stuff like beer and other party related things. I'm setting up a budget on my lunch break to help me make more informed decisions.

What you can have, rather what you should have, is what you can afford - no more, no less. That's what we're trying to make clear. You can't spend money you don't have. Sure it is nice to have cable and HD TV and sit around and watch football and drink beer every Sunday but only if you can afford it.

I actually agree with you about internet. I do think it has become a need. Okay, it isn't a true need. We can all live without it, but it allows us to avoid lots of other expenses. You can cancel cable and watch TV shows online for free. You can play video games online for free. You can use it to comparison shop, find coupons and purchase needed items for less money. You can sign up for various survey sites and even earn some money each month. Maybe you can even have a side income. You mentioned designing web sites.

I ordered it off Amazon because my B&N didn't have it. But my old debit card was in and I didn't bother to change it, so naturally the transaction got declined. I want to order it, just not yet.
Edit** Not buying it. I can't afford to. If the podcast is free, I'll listen to it.

Go to the library and borrow the book. That's free. Also, check if your library has free DVD rentals. That's a good source of cheap entertainment.

I'm going to the grocery store tonight to pick up meals. I've been wanting to pack more for work anyway since my coworkers started doing it. So I'll save money on meals.

Good idea. Your goal should be preparing all meals at home and not eating out at all. it is a waste of money and generally a lot less healthy as well.

How dare I not have perfect spending habits after 9 days of really trying for the first time in my life to get on top of my financial game.

Nobody expects you to change your whole life overnight but you've gotten some good advice in this thread and seem to have ignored it. I suggested back in post #86 to hold off on getting cable for right now. Honestly, I don't think that is such radical advice. Almost all shows (except live sports) are available online for free the next day. Stick with that for a few months. You may find you don't even miss it.

As much as you are getting frustrated by what people are posting, understand that it can be frustrating to us when someone comes seeking help and then ignores, debates or tries to rationalize why everything being suggested won't work for them.

Work out more

I can't afford a gym.

I found your response very revealing. elessar did not say "join a gym". elessar said "work out more". You assumed that meant spending money to join a gym. Today, there are gyms on every corner it seems. Years ago, they were quite rare and people were in far better shape. Why? They walked more. They did more physical activity. They had fewer convenience items at home. They had to get off their butts and walk to the TV to change the channel or raise the volume. If you do feel you need some equipment to exercise, go on craigslist. For next to nothing (sometimes even actually nothing - check freecycle.com) you can pick up some basic items for little more than you'd spend for 1-2 months of gym membership and you'd have the stuff forever.

There are many, many perfectly reasonable ways to live cheaper, shop smarter, spend less on food and household supplies and entertainment. You just have to be willing to try some new things and learn about resources you may not be familiar with. This site is a good place to do that. Sometimes folks do get a little overzealous and it is a shame when that gets people turned off from the whole process but if you settle down and pay attention, there are people here who can absolutely help you clean up this mess.

And absolutely find a way to get a copy of Total Money Makeover. Heck, buy a used copy. I just looked on half.com. There is one listed for $1.04 (plus shipping). I think you can afford that. And that's a perfect example. When I recommended the book, you immediately went to B&N. Even with your 30% discount, you would have paid a lot more than a used copy online. That's the kind of thinking you need to get in the habit of doing: "I need item X. What is the cheapest possible way for me to get it?"

I hope you will continue posting because I do think we can help you clean up your act.

[riverwed070707]

I'm sorry you feel attacked. You don't have to do anything anyone is suggesting, but this is not the place to come for sympathy for poor decisions -- this is where you come when you're ready to make changes so you don't repeat your poor decisions. You asked for advice and the bottom line is your situation is extreme, and therefore your actions have to be extreme if you're going to pull yourself out of this hole. Extreme meaning yes you should cut out ALL luxuries until you are able to pay rent and feed yourself. Yes you should take extra hours to help get ahead. Yes you should give up personal chill time to help reach your financial goals. While I don't typically recommend adults move in with their parents, it might be a good temporary solution for you until you can save up a little bit. You are comfortable borrowing from your mom but you wouldn't live with her? This is off to me.

If you have so much extra time, maybe consider picking up a second job? It's not easy but it can be done. I'm not just preaching -- my DH and I had some things come up we need to take care of before the end of the year so we both picked up second jobs. I'm currently working 40-50 hours a week at my corporate, salaried job and pulling another 14-20 hours a week cocktail waitressing. It blows. Sometimes I work from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., go home to have dinner, go back to work at 7 p.m., work til 2 a.m. and then get up and go back to work at 8. My DH works 20 hours a week and is taking 19 credits at school. And we have a 3 year old who only goes to daycare 2 days a week becuase that's all we can afford so the rest of the time he balances school, work and entertaining her at home. I'm not saying I'm a saint, I'm just trying to explain to you that the people here are speaking from experience. The changes are tough but it can be done, you just have to want to change. You may have had 27 years of poor decisions, and to me all that says is its past time you take responsibilty and be accountable for them. What it does not tell me is that you are any less capable of doing these things than any of the rest of us who have made similar sacrifices.

My posts were never meant to be demeaning or judgemental, but it's clear you need a reality check. You cannot fix this if you aren't willing to put in the work.

[graceful]

Sorry, I just read this post so I am late.

OP, take a deep breathe and stop self destructing. I think many people have posted GOOD long term advise on how to get yourself on track.

HOWEVER, if I am reading between the lines correctly, you are asking someone (other than your Mom) to hold your hand and guide you through the next week or 2, actually figuring out HOW to pay which bills and how much for each. You may be attempting to make a budget but it seems like you don't have a clue on how to apply that budget to your actual pay checks.

This latest pay check shortage and your "breakdown" seems like a wake up call that you need to get serious. On PAPER, your financial situation isn't as bad as others we have all read but the fact that you are stressing out the way you are and not being able to cover your "basics" with the money coming in, much less the desired items, means you need to make real SACRIFICES to get out of your TEMPORARY rut.

People are getting frustrated because you are making BAD choices in front of their eyes and aren't listening when they tell you so.

Look, you need to start implementing some changes and get some breathing room BEFORE you can add anything more like cable/internet to your SURVIVAL mode. Stop adding financial obligations to your monthly list before you have the money in the bank to pay for them. If after a few months you have some money in the bank and you want to add cable/internet and think that it would be in lieu of going out and spending money otherwise, RE-EVALUATE at that time.

You are stressing out because you need/want to move on 11/18 and honestly don't have ANY money to do so and won't unless you stop spending every penny (including for cable/internet) and save up for it. If you JUST cut a check for $493.50 for your rent NEXT week, does that mean you are staying or more likely paying at the END of the rental period instead of the beginning as you are suppose to?

I'm really sorry you are so stressed. But sometimes hitting rock bottom is the only way to wake up and realize that one is willing to make ANY and ALL sacrifices to get back on track. Please realize that this can be a TEMPORARY situation. How long it lasts is entirely up to how serious you are in making the hard choices and sacrifices NOW for a better and more secure future.

I really only wish you the best.

[Whitechapel]

OK, I've calmed down. And you guys are right, I don't need cable right now. But I simply cannot live without internet. It's a must. AT&T offers 3 MB down for 19.99 for 12 months, no contract required. Only catch is, initial 100 dollar fee on the first bill only. This is MUCH more manageable and reasonable if you ask me. I think we can compromise. Other than the one time fee, it's worth it. Meh. I can do without cable for a while. I have an Xbox 360 and I bought a subscription for Xbox Live months ago. Very rarely I play games offline. I also have a WoW subscription that's prepaid from a Gamestop gift card, so I play that too. Plus all the social networking and pirating (I'm such a hypocrite. Lol.) I do, especially if I can't get cable. But I'm willing to sacrifice now so I can have it later.

Other than that, I owe about 20 dollars less than originally quoted for the apartment for when I sign, so that is a plus. I have everything signed and ready to go, I just have to pay. I can't quit this job, I can't. It's far too good. This is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. This is where I need to be in and if I lost this job I would be beyond devastated.

So...with that being out of the way.

I just wanted to pop on and say I've finally leveled out. It's been a rough day. Usually I never get this bad, and it's scary that it's happening ON my meds.

And hitting rock bottom? Are you kidding me? I got an amazing job in a ****ty economy with a compnay who only hires in interns, never full timers. But they opened up hiring to outsiders and I got in. I'm just bad with money. It sucks, but that's why I am here. My debt is sizable. In years this will all be nothing. But it will get done, I just need a good plan of action. I'm a details person.

And yes, I have been wanting to be hand held to a budget. Because I don't know the do's and don'ts. All I ever do is write out a balance, and then try to figure out expenses. But I never know what to do. Or what to pay when. Maybe some help on this?

[disneysteve]

. AT&T offers 3 MB down for 19.99 for 12 months, no contract required. Only catch is, initial 100 dollar fee on the first bill only.

That works out to $28.32/month which isn't bad but I don't like the huge upfront fee. I'd see what other options you have.

And where would you get that money anyway?

[Whitechapel]

That works out to $28.32/month which isn't bad but I don't like the huge upfront fee. I'd see what other options you have.

And where would you get that money anyway?

Where are you getting $28.32 from? It's only $19.99. I clarified this with the sales rep, haha. I made absolutely sure there were no other fees, it's just straight up $19.99 a month. And that's the lowest price they offer. For the one year deal, this is not beatable. I shopped at the only two ISPs in the area and this is the better deal. This is actually my first time really shopping for a deal on internet. And the $100 fee isn't so bad dude, it includes their gateway stuff (modem and router). There is no rental fee for it! No install fees, the other company was charging me $35. So for the first time I did my homework on this stuff! In Toledo we only had one option in the apartments I lived in. The $100 is due on the first bill, so December 1st. I can have my money then.

[BuckyBadger]

I haven't done the math but I'm guessing that (($19.99*12)+$100)/12 = $28.32.

[Whitechapel]

I haven't done the math but I'm guessing that (($19.99*12)+$100)/12 = $28.32.

I figured, but I did say it was a one time up front fee.

[jteezie]

"One time upfront fee"... that definitely sounds like $28.32

Even if you get the money back when you cancel... it is still $28.32 cash until you get the money back.

[disneysteve]

Where are you getting $28.32 from? It's only $19.99.

the $100 fee isn't so bad dude, it includes their gateway stuff (modem and router). There is no rental fee for it! No install fees

I haven't done the math but I'm guessing that (($19.99*12)+$100)/12 = $28.32.

BuckyBadger is correct. I was looking at the effective monthly rate for the first year. Whether you pay it upfront or pay it out monthly, the total cost is the same: $28.32/month.

That said, I agree that it isn't so bad if it includes purchase of the modem and router.

Make sure you know what the rate jumps to after 12 months.