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almost 40, no retirement, what to do?

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    #31
    Originally posted by Eric80 View Post
    What are the 11.5 acres like? If it is flat you could rent it out to a horse riding company? If you can grow food on the land maybe a farmer? This would bring in extra income through out the year; you have a lot of land so while your husband wants to ride out the economy then try to use the resources you have.
    Our land is all hillside. It would be nice to farm if I would not have to worry about water run-off washing away my plants.

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      #32
      Originally posted by cschin4 View Post
      1. He needs to get a full time job. If self employment isn't really bringing in the bacon, no bennies, then it isn't working. He should get a full time job and work his other business on the side.
      2. You should get a full time job. That would solve your money issues.

      Next, look at how you really want to live. Do you really want to live on and care for 11 acres as you begin moving into the next decades? Are you into farming and gardening? If so, you could sell and find a smaller, more easy to maintain property and you dont' need a lot of room for a garden for 2 people. And, you would have more time to spend working your job which actually brings you in money and less time maintaining and fixing at home. And, keep at boats if you enjoy them as they are probably fun and entertaining.

      My thoughts too. Can't convince the DH

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        #33
        Originally posted by cschin4 View Post
        You have to take a radical look at how you really want to live your life and what is important to you. For me, having no debt is how i want to live and if that means just an OK home and just an OK car but money in the bank and peace of mind, that is the lifestyle i have worked out. If you want life on a farm and that type of lifestyle, then you need to set your life up in such as way as congruent to that. To me, a big house and lots of yard is just more expensive maintenance i don't need or want. Same with stuff. More stuff is more stuff to pay for, clean, service, and maintain. I just want a simple life. Talking a walk in the woods with my dog is enough for me. Or, reading a good book, or playing a board game with my kids. i don't need high end stuff nor want it. I dont' really like to travel all that much. We have local theater and restaurants. And, for fun we go for Friday night HS football. What could be better than that?


        I don't need stuff, and I agree with ya!

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          #34
          Then I guess the problem is really between you and your DH. Why won't he get a full-time job? His business obviously isn't lucrative, and he's been at it long enough to know. We can't just live in fantasy land our whole lives. Most of us don't really "want" to have full-time jobs - gee, what a drag! We do it because that's what an adult does - taking care of business.

          I'm sorry you are in such a stressful situation. I don't really know what to suggest if one partner won't get on the same page.

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            #35
            How long have you had your whole life policy? You might want to consider replacing it with a cheap term life insurance policy instead. You can get a 30-year term policy for pretty much less than what you are paying now for whole life. However, if you’re whole life insurance policy has accrued a fairly good amount of cash value you can withdraw from your policy without having to show collateral. You would need to pay this money back with interest, but if you don’t, the life insurance company will simply deduct the amount with interest from the death benefits. Speak to your life insurance company or your agent to find out more details.

            Denise Mancini
            Disclaimer: I work for AccuQuote and this is my personal opinion.

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              #36
              Originally posted by disneysteve View Post
              That's great. As a doctor, I have to agree that so much medication could be eliminated if people would just make some basic lifestyle changes - eat less, exercise more.

              I'd be very careful about the thyroid medication, though. Once someone's thyroid becomes underactive, it stays that way for life. It doesn't suddenly start working normally again. So if you stopped your med, please get your bloodwork checked every few months. Most likely, the level will drift back down and you will need to restart the medication. That isn't really something you can control by lifestyle modification.

              Agreed. I did have a low functioning thyroid and i do get the levels checked periodically.

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                #37
                I'm also sorry you are in this position. It takes two to tango, and it sounds like your DH doesn't want to dance. Honestly, you may need a relationship councelor more than anything at this point, especially if the stress causes you physical illness.

                I'm sure he wouldn't be interested in counceling either

                It sounds like you have all the sense in the relationship.

                Eventually, you'll need to make a decision. Either he goes (bye bye) and you try to manage life on your own, or you figure out a way to work around his hang ups.

                Tough spot.

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