Sharing a bank account with your spouse

[sounderella]

My husband and I have a "budget" we use to keep up with all of our ins and outs broken down by pay period. Everything looks good on paper but I'm finding that our bank account shows that the "leftovers" (money after everything is paid) are disappearing faster than I can keep up with. I know this is because both my husband and I have our own debit cards and I know our problem is lack of communication.

My question (while some may find it stupid) is how do you share a bank account with your spouse and keep the account on the up and up? Aside from sitting down and talking about what we spent that day, are there any other methods you're using to make life easier?

[Slug]

We have multiple accounts. A base checking account where all bills are paid from, a base savings account for all savings, and 2 play accounts that gets $250/mth for non-essential spending like restaurants and clothes. This works well for us now.

When both my wife and I worked we kept separate accounts where we paid a percentage of all bills based on our gross salary as a % of the family gross income. So, she paid slightly more than me, but also kept slightly more than me because she earned more than me. That was fair at the time before a kid, before I stopped work to get an MBA, and before she quit work altogether.

So, those are 2 approaches. The multiple accounts were never a problem because you could have all of the transfers set up automatically once you understood your monthly budget.

[MonkeyMama]

I use Quicken. An electronic checkbook register. This way, I can download the data every day if I like (usually once a week). Then I can just ask dh, "Did you buy something at x, y or z?" Or "What was this ATM withdrawal for?" This way I can just keep on top of it without not having to worry about writing everything down, or worrying if dh forgot to tell me he spent some money.

Makes life MUCH easier.

Of course, a paper register could be used for the same end. If both people are sharing an account, they both should be abreast of the balance, and contributing to keeping it up-to-date.

[disneysteve]

the "leftovers" (money after everything is paid) are disappearing faster than I can keep up with. I know this is because both my husband and I have our own debit cards and I know our problem is lack of communication.

how do you share a bank account with your spouse and keep the account on the up and up? Aside from sitting down and talking about what we spent that day, are there any other methods you're using to make life easier?

You've pretty much answered your own question. The problem is lack of communication. The other problem is lack of accountability. When one of you takes money out of the account, do you record that transaction in either a paper register or online record?

You each need to keep a record of your spending so that you can know where the money is going. And you should sit down and review that together. You probably don't need to do it daily but at least weekly.

[snshijuptr]

My husband and I have a Google Speadsheet that we share online. I usually go into our online banking and record the transactions at least weekly to see how the cash flow is going. I know he doesn't check it often enough so I tell him when we are getting low for the month.

[cptacek]

how do you share a bank account with your spouse and keep the account on the up and up

I grab his wallet and take the receipts out and put them in the spreadsheet.

I have a bills account neither of us take money out of except for bills. I try to keep ~ $1000 in the farm checking account for him. If he spends anywhere close to that amount, he'll tell me (usually while complaining about what broke that day ) and our general/food/misc/beer/clothes account gets updated about once a week.

[disneysteve]

I didn't say what my wife and I do.

My wife doesn't touch the bank account. She doesn't go to the ATM. She doesn't use a debit card. Almost everything is paid by credit. Whenever she needs cash, I give it to her. The only time she ever directly accesses our account is when she writes a check, usually for our daughter's school or youth group events, and those get recorded right away in the checkbook register.

This works very, very well for us and has for 18 years now.

[EEinNJ]

The system we used to use was, I put the money in, and she took it out. I couldn't keep up, so I gave up on that system.

Seriously, what you might try is the "His, mine, and ours" approach. Then you each have autonomy over your individual spending habits, and hopefully the joint stuff will be more manageable and less a source of misunderstanding/conflict.

[Ima saver]

We have joint savings accounts that are not to be touched except for an emergency. I do not use the ATM, I do not have a debit card, I pay everything by check and balance the checkbook monthly. I give both my husband and my self an allowance every week, no questions asked. It has worked for us for over 33 years!!

[Slug]

Oh and for tracking it all, I use Yodlee Personal Finance online. Far fewer glitches than Mint and let's you track rewards programs too.

[irmanator]

I pay the bills and give my husband an "allowance" this was his idea because of he would rather not deal with it.

[Dandi Lion]

Online banking

You can watch your bank account at all times if you sign up for on-line banking. Most transactions go through immediately and it's easy to keep up with who is spending what.

[asmom]

My question (while some may find it stupid) is how do you share a bank account with your spouse and keep the account on the up and up? Aside from sitting down and talking about what we spent that day, are there any other methods you're using to make life easier?

I don't. I learned my lesson 15 years ago and have never looked back.

[disneysteve]

You can watch your bank account at all times if you sign up for on-line banking. Most transactions go through immediately and it's easy to keep up with who is spending what.

One big exception to this is when you write checks. Those don't show up until the check is processed so it is very important to keep a record of those.

Really, I find that the balance shown on online banking is pretty worthless. It doesn't show outstanding checks. It also doesn't show pending autopayments or scheduled electronic payments that haven't occurred yet. The only accurate balance is the one in our checkbook register.

[billchrz]

We have a checking account with ou brick and mortar bank and a checking and savings account with ING. My company will split my direct deposit up to 3 times. A set amount of money goes to the ING checking account (for bills only, no debit card), the ING savings account, and the brick and mortar bank (spending/groceries/necessities/etc). My wife's check gets split between the savings account and brick and mortar account.

The only immediate access we have is to the B&M bank. It has worked wonders for us since we started doing this 2 years ago.