Feel like i missed the boat

**snafu** · 06-10-2010, 06:27 PM

Wow! I could see your being upset if you were hitting 40 and realizing you'd made a poor career choice. Hopefully you had fun, enjoyed girlfriends and learned what's important and what's not. You're in a serious relationship and 1/2 way through your nursing program which I hope you like. Don't worry about what your friends are doing...things are rarely how they appear on the surface.

**kork13** · 06-10-2010, 06:37 PM

You're still 15 years ahead of so many people who don't even think about their future (financially) until they're in their 40's or later! Do you enjoy nursing? Don't compare yourself to others, what's important is if you're happy with what you're doing. You're clearly a smart guy, and reaching financial goals (just like every other goal -- completing university, for instance) just takes time! The past is past, you can only change the future. Keep working down the road that's right for you, and don't worry about where everybody else is going.

**disneysteve** · 06-11-2010, 04:08 AM

Originally posted by peterj View Post

I am a 23 year old male who feels asthough he has missed the financial boat completely. I am currently a student nursing who has 2 years of university left, i have around $20 tied up in term deposits, i am savings tightly and feel that i should have much more money by now. I wasted a lot of money on girlfriends and my youth buying silly things. I live at home and have a supportive girlfriend who is also at uni. Our plan is to finish in 2 years and buy property and get married. I feel that being 24 year this year and i should have already brought property, and had my life sorted out of school, instead i went into retail managment for several years then decided i needed a much more sustainable career for my children. I look at my friend my age although i do have a lot i feel like i made terrible decisions and they seem to get me down a lot. How do i dig myself out and realise life is not all that bad?

Are you serious? You are talking like a 60-year-old who has no retirement savings, not a 23-year-old who is just starting out in life. I finished school when I was 26. I got married when I was 28 and we bought our house when I was nearly 30. Now, at 45, I'm doing just fine.

Give yourself a break. You are young and still in school. I think your plan sounds perfectly fine and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Live below your means. Save up a 20% down payment before house hunting. Don't take on too large of a mortgage. You'll do just fine.

**Shaabenanizer** · 06-11-2010, 05:00 AM

I agree with what everyone said, you are way ahead of most people and the important thing now is you recognize the "errors" of your youth ways now. Don't compare yourself to others, though I know it's a knee-jerk tendency. I was envious that my "mature" friends had houses, even though my beautiful rental had twice their square footage. I was 37 years old by the time I became a homeowner, I had the money to be a homeowner at age 25 but my personal life was a mess and homeownership would only have added on to the stress and confusion.

Concentrate on school and your relationship with your girlfriend. Live below your means and save for a nice down payment and you will come out even further ahead.

**Broken Arrow** · 06-11-2010, 05:28 AM

Hehe, on the bright side, he's well ahead of his time. This is good. I wish I was like that.

**MonkeyMama** · 06-11-2010, 06:28 AM

I wouldn't sweat it.

I am the type who graduated college at 23, got married, and bought a house (& 2nd home), and got my professional license, etc., etc., by your age.

I really have never met anyone in the same boat. Maybe my SIL? Most of my friends lived at home and weren't quite sure what to do with their life until 30+. Which is still PLENTY young to be starting out in the big bad world.

Another point of view - I do know a lot of young 20-somethings rushing into home ownership the last few years. (Non-degreed, with children, thinking that by 23 you should have a McMansion - weird mentality - different region than where I grew up in - so very different mentalities). Anyway, I don't know anyone this has worked out well for. Lots of foreclosures, bankruptcies, etc. I don't see what the rush is. My friends back home who still rent or lived at home a long while, are doing MUCH better financially.

**snshijuptr** · 06-11-2010, 06:33 AM

Don't worry at 24 in a week and in grad school, I'm also anxious to "start life". I want time to pass because I feel like once I get past these early financial goals (house, kid, student loans) that I will be sailing in the "right" direction (paying off house, retirement, earning a real salary). I've been trying hard to accept that these beginning steps are just that steps in a lifelong financial journey. Its hard to accept them as such, but they are. Its hard not to anxious when you've decided to take the long range patient path, but that's just what we have done. Don't worry. We will come out where we want to be in the end.

**disneysteve** · 06-11-2010, 06:38 AM

Originally posted by MonkeyMama View Post

Most of my friends lived at home and weren't quite sure what to do with their life until 30+.

That certainly isn't a good answer either. I totally don't understand the trend of adult children staying with their parents until late 20s or early 30s. But that doesn't mean you need to rush into home ownership either. Rent a place. Live lean. Build your savings and buy if and when you are financially ready and established in a stable job.

**jpg7n16** · 06-11-2010, 07:58 AM

Originally posted by peterj View Post

...I feel that being 24 year this year and i should have already brought property, and had my life sorted out of school, instead i went into retail managment for several years then decided i needed a much more sustainable career for my children.

I'm 25. I don't want to buy property until I absolutely have to. I'd rather live with cheap rent as long as I can. I personally think owning a home while single is overrated. Unless you have a family, why bother?

I'm still in "searching for the career I want" mode. I mean, graduated at 22, still at college job for 1 year, 2 years at new career - looking for a new path in life that I would enjoy more = 25. Not a big deal.

Sounds like you are also comparing yourself to your parents. Who were like 40-50 something. They owned a home. They had a career. They had a nice car. Why don't I? Well cause they were like 20 years down the line. Everybody starts with nothing and works towards getting to a comfortable life. You have literally double your life so far to get where they are.

I look at my friend my age although i do have a lot i feel like i made terrible decisions and they seem to get me down a lot. How do i dig myself out and realise life is not all that bad?

You've got a good girl, you're almost done with grad school, and you care about your finances. You're ahead of your friends.

They will show up with nice cars (that they can't afford) living in really nice houses (that they really can't afford) telling you how it's easy to live like that cause "you can afford the payments." Normal people have little to no retirement savings, and don't care about their finances until retirement is 5-10 years away.

You, on the other hand, have some sense.

**bjl584** · 06-11-2010, 08:06 AM

You're only 23. You're fine....

**Hector** · 06-11-2010, 11:45 AM

There is no point in comparing yourself with everyone. You are just 23!
I think, its better to compare with yourself only. There isn't much you could do about 'where you are right now' Just think from this point onwards and set up your goals and try to achieve them.

I am older than you are and I didn't think about buying property when I was in the school at 23. You need to realize that when few of us say - buying property we mean borrowing money and owing to financial institution.

**devatha** · 06-11-2010, 12:00 PM

You need to maintain same thinking throughout the life. Great people do the same basic things consistently without missing a day through sickness and health, poverty and wealth, luxuries and tribulations. But, you need not worry that much, but spend some 15 to 30 minutes a day on learning about all aspects of money.
You have access to hell lot of learning materials in America about every aspect of life. I am just jealous of that you know!!! It is more important to pass on what you learned to your successive generations so that they know how to handle life and money proactively.

Coming to buying property, ask for unbiased expert advice. You did not specify the property value and monthly savings allotted for it. You might not have gone through buy/rent calculator in nytimes, its article and article's comments.

Delay the gratification or temptation of buying your dream things/wants. Wait till you have sufficient money or wait till the price drops or buy an affordable one rather than costlier one. Ever heard the story of couple killing the goose that lays golden eggs!!!

**buildmybudget** · 06-12-2010, 07:07 AM

You should simply focus on continuing to build your foundation. Forget about your other friends, property, and having it all right now and focus on school and building relationships. It seems to me you're in great shape, working on a degree that will support a practically recession-proof career. You've got a plan with your girlfriend and you should continue to put the right pieces in the right place to implement that plan.

**cschin4** · 06-13-2010, 05:06 AM

You haven't missed the boat. Heck, you are of age to just find it in the first place and then even smarter at 23 to get on board when most of us took a LOT longer than that and spent more years not understanding or managing our money. I really didn't become serious until I was approaching 30. Then, we had kids and I realized I didn't want to live the debt lifestyle or be beholden to "the man" for the rest of my life to buy a bunch of junk. So, we made some good decisions. Then, I got sidetracked and made some really dumb decisions as well. And, you win some and lose some. So, you just forget about it and forge ahead. At this point, I own my home, am debt free, and have money in the bank and retirement. For some reason, everyone seems to expect they will be millionaires by 30 or they are somehow failures. That is simply not true. The road to financial success and freedom is the long, slow plodding along and you will make some poor decisions along the way as well.
You are doing great. You are preparing your future and thinking ahead. I predict you will be very successful as you are focusing on this now.

Feel like i missed the boat