starting to have some doubts...

[disneysteve]

If $160/year prevents someone from retiring, they need a better retirement plan. That is why I would not evaluate a trip to a wedding based on the money being used for retirement or to travel to wedding.

Jim, this one particular expense might not prevent them from retiring, but a pattern of spending like this certainly could. KTP said this is "yet ANOTHER wedding where we will have to fly and stay in a hotel." That certainly makes it sound like this has been happening repeatedly.

A couple of $2,000 weddings per year and a couple of other "obligations" that creep up each year and before you know it, you've spent 8K or 10K and it starts having a real impact on the retirement plans.

As I said, I would never spend that kind of money to attend a wedding. The only exception I can think of would be if my daughter or niece got married out of town. For anybody else, they'd get a generous gift and our regrets that we can't attend.

[Snodog]

I understand a marrying couple would hope you could attend, but I think it's unreasonable for them to expect you to pay thousands to attend their wedding.

I agree.

If it was me who was getting married and it cost a friend $2k to fly his/her family across the country I would feel bad for him/her. $2k is a lot for some people.

Sometimes I think people send invitations not really expecting you to attend. Otherwise if you got no invitation you would feel slighted.

[creditcardfree]

Can you find a way to make the trips less expensive? Stay with someone you know locally? Stay in hotels that are less expensive? Share a rental car? Only go if you can find plane tickets for $X?

Good luck deciding!

[kork13]

Saving can be so addictive.

I saw this and just laughed, probably because it can be so true for some of us.

[Beppington]

I saw this and just laughed, probably because it can be so true for some of us.

Yeah, that's true. So, you gotta be careful not to get so addicted you become cheap & your friends un-friend you

[cschin4]

I try to look at weddings as an opportunity to share in someone's joy and celebrate the lives of those in my life. And, I figure that I can suffer a little inconvenience or financial cost to do so. On the other hand, I don't think people should be expecting others to go to "Destination Weddings" where a cruise or big trip is planned. It can be offered if that is what the couple wants, but the couple should also understand if someone can't attend.
I am saying to look at this "cost" in reality. There is a lot of frivolous spending that everyone does. We seem to mindlessly spend on some things and then toss up a roadblock for something else. If it is important to your wife or whomever invited you, which I assume it is, I would forgo a couple of meals out or whatever. Spending money is part of life as well and part of what makes life enjoyable. Savers tend to view this type spending as somehow wrong. I spend more freely now on things like this and less now on "stuff". I think spending on experiences, good food, travel, good times is just as valuable and enhances one's life as opposed to just accumulating more stuff or having a few more $$ in the bank. Of course, I am not advocating throwing caution to the wind. Just talking about living life in a balance. Spend some, save some, give some away. That is my motto.

[wnlbutterfly]

It sounds like your wife is looking forward to retirement just as much as you (the clock kinda gives it away). I would be honest with her and let her know it could mean a change in your retirement goal. If she has left this all up to you then she needs to listen.

Could it possibly be an excuse for the wife to have a nice trip away from home? Making it a mini-vacation besides the family obligation?

I would never pay that much to travel to a wedding either. Unless it was my own or my adult child's perhaps. Not everyone does that BTW. But it depends on how close these family members are and maybe she wants to visit with the other guests (like a family reunion?). I assume this is her side of the family.

If it cost you $1,000 to go, why not just give a gift of money to the bride and groom...say a couple hundred dollars, they would be THRILLED with the monetary gift, you would save some cash. But if the above is true, then wife wouldn't be happy.

Very interesting and way to go on the early retirement goal! I think that is awesome!

[jIM_Ohio]

I try to look at weddings as an opportunity to share in someone's joy and celebrate the lives of those in my life. And, I figure that I can suffer a little inconvenience or financial cost to do so. On the other hand, I don't think people should be expecting others to go to "Destination Weddings" where a cruise or big trip is planned. It can be offered if that is what the couple wants, but the couple should also understand if someone can't attend.
I am saying to look at this "cost" in reality. There is a lot of frivolous spending that everyone does. We seem to mindlessly spend on some things and then toss up a roadblock for something else. If it is important to your wife or whomever invited you, which I assume it is, I would forgo a couple of meals out or whatever. Spending money is part of life as well and part of what makes life enjoyable. Savers tend to view this type spending as somehow wrong. I spend more freely now on things like this and less now on "stuff". I think spending on experiences, good food, travel, good times is just as valuable and enhances one's life as opposed to just accumulating more stuff or having a few more $$ in the bank. Of course, I am not advocating throwing caution to the wind. Just talking about living life in a balance. Spend some, save some, give some away. That is my motto.

well put post
I agree

especially with this...

Spending money is part of life as well and part of what makes life enjoyable. Savers tend to view this type spending as somehow wrong.

[KTP]

Oh, it isn't even a family wedding, just a friend. Doesn't matter, I just bought the tickets and hotel, so done deal.

The family stuff was flying around in-laws first class (because they have issues with coach). I am 6'7" and ALWAYS fly coach (bitter?).

Anyway, I will just up the risk on a portion of our investments to cover the costs

[KTP]

Just found out dw just got a huge bonus today out of the blue and unexpected. I will stop complaining about a few weddings and flights now.

[kork13]

hahaha congrats on the unexpected bonus, I'm sure you'll put it to good use.