starting to have some doubts...

[KTP]

I just found out we have yet ANOTHER wedding where we will have to fly and stay in a hotel for at least one night. Add in a rental car and eating out too.

Add to all of this the costs this past december of flying family all over (we seem to be the only part of our family that budgets and has money) and I am starting to really worry about our long term plans of retiring in 8 years (now less than 8 years).

I try to convince dw that we won't be able to do these things when we are living on a much reduced income from our investments but dw views these things as obligations, and perhaps she is correct. I view them as a $1000 of Walmart shares down the drain or $2000 that will not be going into a municipal bond fund, etc.

Should I just play along and try to keep on the budget as best as possible, secretly knowing that we will not make the < 8 year deadline or should I try harder to convince her that we have to tell family and friends "no" more often if we are going to have a chance at early retirement? It almost seems easier to just go with the flow and in 8 years say "oops, looks like we need to work another year or 2 before we have enough"

[jIM_Ohio]

retirement should not cramp your living style... and if that includes budgeting 2k per year to travel somewhere, add that to list of expenses.

If you think a 2k plane flight in retirement is expensive, what will happen in retirement when you need to pay for the following:

a) new roof (5k??)
b) new siding for house (10k?)
c) new HVAC/heat pump (2 or 5k?)
d) new or used car (20k?)
e) car repairs (3-4k)

all of those expenses are more than a plane flight, and I can pretty much guarantee all of those will occur once every 10-20 years.

You may have a budget right now which includes sporadic travel and other expenses related to work (travel, clothes, eating). In retirement those work expenses go down, but travel or other hobby related expenses go up.

In addition if you are 8 years from retirement, and you are questioning if you have "enough", then I might suggest to do a retirement analysis-

list expenses now, list projected retirement expenses
list retirement account balances now, list projected retirement account balances in 8 years.
list asset allocation now, and list projected retirement allocation... have you done a monte carlo on your retirement expenses/ retirement allocation?

In my case, 10 years prior to retirement, I expect life to be an excercise in partial retirement. If I need $1.5 M to retire, 10 years out I expect to have $750k in retirement accounts. I would fully expect I could travel and take more vacations because my retirement account deposits could be minimized while I just allow time to double the money I have over a 10 year period.

[kork13]

KTP, if I remember correctly, you're planning to retire, sell your home, and live on your boat, sailing about as you please. By then you would be in your late-50's. Mostly correct?

It sounds as if you have a specific date (i.e., 11 June 2018) in mind as to when you hit the seas. You say "deadline", but is it really a deadline, or rather your goal? While I'm sure you're eager to embark on your retirement adventure, I rather agree with Jim -- You shouldn't live life (the present) strictly for tomorrow (retirement)... Enjoy life as it is today, which would include occasional travel to see friends/family. If it delays setting sail by a year or so, I would be inclined to say "oh well", and enjoy the opportunities that the day presents. Carpe diem, no? In the end, it's something that you and your wife need to discuss and decide upon -- we obviously can't make that decision for you. But my advice: Live Life.

[disneysteve]

I agree that this is a personal decision between you and your wife. I'll say this, though. We have never, not even once, gone to a wedding that involved flying to the destination. We've been invited to plenty of them over the years but that is just outside of the realm of what I consider a reasonable expectation for your guests to do. Nobody, friend or family, has ever given us any grief about not attending a long-distance wedding. I do not believe anybody should ever feel obligated to spend hundreds of dollars to attend a wedding. You should go because you want to and can afford to without impacting other financial plans.

[KTP]

[QUOTE=kork13;247994]KTP, if I remember correctly, you're planning to retire, sell your home, and live on your boat, sailing about as you please. By then you would be in your late-50's. Mostly correct?
QUOTE]

Correct except we will be in our late 40's in 8 years, not 50's.

It is an ambitious plan that early, but it could be done if we live cheaply now and make moderately risky investments (50% municipal bonds, 50% stocks). I have us calculated at about 1.5 million in stocks and bonds in 8 years not counting dw maxed 401K (and the new Roth I just rolled over for her). All of these calculations assume we live cheaply (not flying to a wedding across the country for 1 night stay).

[cschin4]

It almost seems easier to just go with the flow and in 8 years say "oops, looks like we need to work another year or 2 before we have enough"

Aren't you exaggerating a bit? Life is about choices. And, I would think spending time with family and friends would be one choice you want to make and will be happy later down the road that you did intead of buying another bond. If you truly can't afford it, dont' go but make a point to go and welcome the new couple and spend time with them honoring this important time in their lives. Life isn't always about me or what I want.

[wincrasher]

It's a fine balancing act. You may have to give alittle to keep your wife on board. Retiring at 48 is quite an ambitious goal.

I didn't understand from your original post if you were paying for other people in your family to travel. I'd say you have a better argument to not pay for that. But if good friends or family are getting married, you should go and economize where you can.

[Snodog]

Why not be upfront with her and tell her- "if we keep flying to these weddings we won't be able to retire in 8 years" and leave the decision up to her.

[KTP]

Hmm, well it is like this. She said I want to quit my job and retire in 8 years, make it happen. She leaves the finances and investment choices up to me, so there is some pressure. I think the deadline is pretty set though since she has a countdown clock posted in her office ticking off the days until she retires...safely hidden from the boss :-)

I am finishing up my EE degree and plan to enter the workforce again in about 2 years. I should be able to get a starting salary of $60K to $80K based on my previous experience in the field, so that will be an increase in investment income....taxed to hell and back, but what can you do? I plan to work somewhere I can max a 401K to $16,500 to offset this a bit. Anyway, it was something I really wanted to do, so I am making other sacrifices to keep the cost minimal.

I really don't want to get into money fights considering we are blessed more than a lot of people with no debt, good income and good savings. I think some gentle pressure and maybe acting a bit less cheap on my part might be the best plan. Saving can be so addictive.

[MonkeyMama]

Really - it just comes down to priorities. I don't plant to retire in 8 years, but hell if I would spend $2k on someone else's wedding. It would be LOW on my personal priority list.

If these weddings are a priority, or you'd somehow feel that you were missing out, then something has to give.

It's really pretty simple.

[Snodog]

Really - it just comes down to priorities. I don't plant to retire in 8 years, but hell if I would spend $2k on someone else's wedding. It would be LOW on my personal priority list.

I agree.

That $2k will grow to maybe $4k in 8 years if the investments do well. That is $4k less in your retirement accounts that you will need to replace by savings. How long does it take you to save $4k? If it takes you 1.5 months like it takes us you will need to work 1.5 months longer to go to the wedding. Maybe adjust this down to about 1 month since you will probably be saving more 8 years from now due to higher salaries. It would have to be a pretty close friend for me to want to work 1 month. This is how I try to view all my spending decisions.

[jIM_Ohio]

4k in a retirement account is maybe $160 per year to investment income (4%).

I would not be making decisions based on the future value of the money spent on the wedding.

I would make decision based on my relationship with the person or couple getting married.

[Snodog]

I would not be making decisions based on the future value of the money spent on the wedding.

I would make decision based on my relationship with the person or couple getting married.

I would make a decision based on both.

[jIM_Ohio]

I would make a decision based on both.

If $160/year prevents someone from retiring, they need a better retirement plan. That is why I would not evaluate a trip to a wedding based on the money being used for retirement or to travel to wedding.

[Beppington]

I understand a marrying couple would hope you could attend, but I think it's unreasonable for them to expect you to pay thousands to attend their wedding. I see no reason you can't say to them, "We can't afford it." You needn't explain your finances & retirement plan to them, especially in an economy where most agree things are bad. If they're upset & really want you there, they can offer to kick in some/ all of the money.

Apologize for not being able to attend & send them a nice gift.