So overwhelmed!

[minnie1928]

I don't know what on earth made you think those things about me, but just know that it was slightly hurtful. It's not polite to make assumptions like that about people just because they have a positive signature. I'm sorry you took it that way.

I think the thing to remember here is that everyone has different life experiences which influence how they react and/or respond to things. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't completely sure how to interpret your signature either. But once I read your explanation, you're right...it is a very positive way of thinking which I like. My point is that it is open to interpretation, and different people tend to interpret things differently because of their experiences...good or bad.

However, if I would have heard my mother say the same words that you have in your signature, they would have had an entirely different meaning. She would interpret it as live for today, don't plan for tomorrow. If it's bad, I'll just deny/ignore it and maybe it will go away.

The bad thing with chat boards is that there is a tendency to inflect emotion into the words that are typed and in doing that there is room for assumption on both sides.

I think it was simply a misunderstanding, not meant as a hurtful jab towards you.

[skylovessea]

I think the thing to remember here is that everyone has different life experiences which influence how they react and/or respond to things. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't completely sure how to interpret your signature either. But once I read your explanation, you're right...it is a very positive way of thinking which I like. My point is that it is open to interpretation, and different people tend to interpret things differently because of their experiences...good or bad.

However, if I would have heard my mother say the same words that you have in your signature, they would have had an entirely different meaning. She would interpret it as live for today, don't plan for tomorrow. If it's bad, I'll just deny/ignore it and maybe it will go away.

The bad thing with chat boards is that there is a tendency to inflect emotion into the words that are typed and in doing that there is room for assumption on both sides.

I think it was simply a misunderstanding, not meant as a hurtful jab towards you.

I understand. I think I am just a little fed up because in other threads that I have posted, people have been very rude and condescending. If I didn't already have the mindset that people are being rude, I wouldn't have taken this the wrong way, but there was a lot of fuel behind my reply above.

I am deeply considering quitting the forum because "some people" have offended and hurt me (personally) to the point of this not even being a productive board anymore.

I don't come here to have my mistakes pointed out to me, and I have been called "whiny" and told that my son is "suffering" because I'm a young parent.

I'm just extremely fed up, I hope you understand.

(And it hurts me to say that I might be leaving this forum because some of you -- including yourself -- have been nothing but kind and helpful.)

[minnie1928]

(And it hurts me to say that I might be leaving this forum because some of you -- including yourself -- have been nothing but kind and helpful.)

I've sent you a pm.

[DebbieL]

Please stick around. There are many helpful people on here. In any public forum there are misunderstandings, etc. It is hard to always judge what is meant from the written word, when facial expression and tone can't come across. Sometimes offense is taken when it wasn't intended. There are those that will disagree too, but most on here will try to help you.

[skylovessea]

Please stick around. There are many helpful people on here. In any public forum there are misunderstandings, etc. It is hard to always judge what is meant from the written word, when facial expression and tone can't come across. Sometimes offense is taken when it wasn't intended. There are those that will disagree too, but most on here will try to help you.

I understand what you mean, but the things said are clearly stated. It's not just tone, it's the vocabulary used. but don't get me wrong, I definitely understand where you are coming from. Thank you.

[ceejay74]

I sympathize but agree with DebbieL.

People are blunt in this forum, and some of them don't know the difference between that and rudeness/cruelty and start going down that road. It's OK to call them out on it (though sometimes they will post 3 or 4 times defending their choice of words and heaping on more insults as you've seen, LOL) but don't get too caught up in it. Just take the advice, ignore the harsh words, and you will learn a lot here. Even the uncivil people usually have much knowledge to share.

[sjmey]

Hi,

I read this thread, and your last thread. First of all, you and and your husband with your new baby are going to make it. I want you to take a deap breath close your eyes and visualize your goals and dreams. All of them. Car, House, new career (yes I know he has a new job) more college. a second child - everything on the horizon Honest it makes sense.

Now that you have them visualized everything, present and future ten years out if that is part of your vision.

Pause, for a moment and enjoy all that you see in your life present and future. It feels great doesn't it ?




Now that the fun is done I want you to list them out. all of them. one two three sheets of paper if necessary. Dont miss any. Ya there are alot of them. We both know some of them are not even remotely possible yet. But thats ok

Now I want you to softly put a penceled line through the ones that are years and years down the road, like that second child. LOL Dont throw out the list and make sure you can still see your goals.

keep the list and re list the ones that are not crossed off. now that list is more mannageable. It always is. down to a page or less. 25 different items. maybe even 15

With the remaining list, I want you to do two more steps.
first I want you to prioritize this list into order of realistic goals and importance. The new car, new home ect.

My last piece of advice is to start hiding money for those goals and dreams you and your husband have. Use a seperate savings account - add to those accounts according to your ability. I have multiple savings accounts. when you have enough money in the account link it to a CD you will be less apt to spend it. EG - My car accont not to be confussed with a line item in my budget sheet which says car repair. I found in my own life that it didn't work to use my main accont checking or savings on ledger page becasue I ended up stealing from the sheet.

Many of the earlier posts on this site to you and others indicated that it is very important to have an emergency fund. You can acutally use one of your new saving accounts listed for that purpose. Put money in that account when you can afford to do so. before you know it you will have 3 - 6 months income - salary reserved. I do realize that it will take time to grow that nest egg.

Check out the $20.00 challenge threads. You will see how easy it is to save money for those goals and dreams.

Finally, don't be to hard on your self or your husband. Enjoy all you have today and look forward to omorrow ! ! let us know if these suggestions helped.

[sjmey]

One more thing, as a side bar - Your question is helping far more than just you. There are hundreds of people who have read your thread, many of whom do not ask questions. Honestly, I dont think I asked any questions on this board. But I sertianly learned a great deal from all that i have read. Its surprizing the insite that people have newbees as well as the seasoned ( Can I and dare I say "OLD )

In general thank all of you for helping me understand and grow more financial savey

[skylovessea]

Hi,

I read this thread, and your last thread. First of all, you and and your husband with your new baby are going to make it. I want you to take a deap breath close your eyes and visualize your goals and dreams. All of them. Car, House, new career (yes I know he has a new job) more college. a second child - everything on the horizon Honest it makes sense.

Now that you have them visualized everything, present and future ten years out if that is part of your vision.

Pause, for a moment and enjoy all that you see in your life present and future. It feels great doesn't it ?




Now that the fun is done I want you to list them out. all of them. one two three sheets of paper if necessary. Dont miss any. Ya there are alot of them. We both know some of them are not even remotely possible yet. But thats ok

Now I want you to softly put a penceled line through the ones that are years and years down the road, like that second child. LOL Dont throw out the list and make sure you can still see your goals.

keep the list and re list the ones that are not crossed off. now that list is more mannageable. It always is. down to a page or less. 25 different items. maybe even 15

With the remaining list, I want you to do two more steps.
first I want you to prioritize this list into order of realistic goals and importance. The new car, new home ect.

My last piece of advice is to start hiding money for those goals and dreams you and your husband have. Use a seperate savings account - add to those accounts according to your ability. I have multiple savings accounts. when you have enough money in the account link it to a CD you will be less apt to spend it. EG - My car accont not to be confussed with a line item in my budget sheet which says car repair. I found in my own life that it didn't work to use my main accont checking or savings on ledger page becasue I ended up stealing from the sheet.

Many of the earlier posts on this site to you and others indicated that it is very important to have an emergency fund. You can acutally use one of your new saving accounts listed for that purpose. Put money in that account when you can afford to do so. before you know it you will have 3 - 6 months income - salary reserved. I do realize that it will take time to grow that nest egg.

Check out the $20.00 challenge threads. You will see how easy it is to save money for those goals and dreams.

Finally, don't be to hard on your self or your husband. Enjoy all you have today and look forward to omorrow ! ! let us know if these suggestions helped.

Wow, thank you so much. This was really helpful and touching. I will definitely do that. Could you post some links to the $20 challenge threads? I'm very interested in reading them!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Are you tracking all your spending these past 3 months? Since december? I think that would be the right way to start organizing a budget. It's how I did it. And boy was it shocking! YIKES!

[skylovessea]

Are you tracking all your spending these past 3 months? Since december? I think that would be the right way to start organizing a budget. It's how I did it. And boy was it shocking! YIKES!

We recently started doing that (a couple weeks ago) but it's hard to really see anything because we hardly spend money. Once we have more income it will be easier to see what we are spending because we will actually be able to buy things (like household supplies).

[QueenOphelia]

I in NO WAY meant the things you said. You took it completely out of context. I do not live large at all in the sense that I buy whatever, whenever. That's not what live large means to everyone. I don't buy things for myself. Ever. I count every penny and dime that leaves my pocket. I'm more frugal than you could imagine.

I don't know what on earth made you think those things about me, but just know that it was slightly hurtful. It's not polite to make assumptions like that about people just because they have a positive signature. I'm sorry you took it that way.

Um..no I just read it and that is my interpretation. What kind of context was it supposed to be in? You have it as your signature which to me implies that is your creed and what you are all about.

Sorry if you took it the wrong way..

[skylovessea]

Um..no I just read it and that is my interpretation. What kind of context was it supposed to be in? You have it as your signature which to me implies that is your creed and what you are all about.

Sorry if you took it the wrong way..

It is my creed and what I'm all about, but not in the sense that you described. It wasn't about money, it was about a positive outlook on life.

[sjmey]

Just type in 20:00 challenge in the search within this site. it will list some threads.

[SacredFaerie]

Some people would fall over and die if they were positive.

Sky yall are going to make it. It's hard but we can't all be super perfect like others claim to be and in the end you love your kid and that counts for a LOT.