Pressured to buy a house

[disneysteve]

I am not sure I'll have the self-discipline to make my son get a job when he's in high school. I'd be worried about his schoolwork suffering, for one thing. But my parents never emphasized working or learning to support myself so I was totally lost when I finished college and had to learn how to pay the bills on my own.

I think this really varies by the kid. I didn't work in high school or college and I turned out just fine, very financially aware and careful with my money. I don't think a kid should be forced to work just to teach them a lesson. As far as I'm concerned, my daughter's job IS school and just being a kid. I want her to focus on schoolwork and have time to play, go to dances, movies, school trips, be in the school show, etc. They'll be plenty of time for work later.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Of course you can get started on buying the house now. Part of buying the house is saving the down payment. Will that be a surprise to your wife?

[PrincessPerky]

TBH, Setting a goals and making a new plan sounds like a good idea. I'm kind of martyr about money, don't wasted any money and you will have it when you really need something. I call it the the Ebeneezer Scrooge financial plan.

When we were in debt I figure'ed we would never dig our way out, So I said , lets get rid of this debt then get a house, A year and half later, we are out of debt and and I'm in trouble, I should have added " and save a down payment" to that goal.

This sure is a funny time of life for me. SC

Heh, yeah you are stuck, you said pay off debt then buy house, you owe her it!

But down payment is part of buying...just don't wait too long or she wont trust you!

[rizzmo]

Wife just became a school teacher and wants a big house. NOW!

This is classic american consumerism. Your wife should understand that her becoming a school teacher does not, in and of itself, entitle her to a big house. Saving for a 20% down payment on a big house and then being able to afford the monthly mortgage payments on it, while still saving, does. In general it is a bad idea to buy a house without 20% down. Not only do you have to pay PMI, but you also will have little recourse if the property value drops, as you could be upside down on your home. In addition to that, if you are selling your current home in todays market you will most likely get less than it's worth. Increasing your monthly mortgage payment from 500/m to 2,000/m will significantly reduce your ability to save for the future. Finally, there are ancillary costs associated with a bigger house: more furniture, higher maintenance costs, higher utilities, ect. I'm not saying never get the big house, but a few months/years of preparation might be the difference between this new house being a dream vs. a nightmare.

[KatieNK]

If it were me, I would stay put. It won't be that crowded for much longer (in the grand scheme of things) and then you will have this extra large house with an extra large payment and only 2 people. You could retire much sooner if you could focus on the 401k like you said. I would definitely stay put.

[Alex_Adviser]

What i think is that your wife has started working and making some valid contributions to the household expenses. It could be the best possible cause for why she is looking for a new and a bigger house, its her thinking that she is earning and spending now and can have a bigger house.

You should continue to keep the house you are in now. Pay down the debts outstanding in it and then look for a better place once the kids have moved out of house for developing their futures.

[PrincessPerky]

BTW you might try telling her you were wrong...you said pay off debt then buy a house, what about retirement...if you just weren't thinking of it, tell her so!

But in the end it is no good to be able to retire early if your wife is mad at you, generally a middle ground can be found

[Smelly_Cat]

Thanks everyone, Things got kind of tense here this week end. It is Christmas and I hate arguing about money and future mortgages while spending money saved for a house buying gifts. I do need to get a plan together with a goal for this adventure. My Wife does deserve a house and I love her. If I could abandon these kids at a hospital in Nebraska every thing would be just fine.

[maat55]

Thanks everyone, Things got kind of tense here this week end. It is Christmas and I hate arguing about money and future mortgages while spending money saved for a house buying gifts. I do need to get a plan together with a goal for this adventure. My Wife does deserve a house and I love her. If I could abandon these kids at a hospital in Nebraska every thing would be just fine.

Why the hospital? I'm sure there is a farmer out there that could put them to good use.