I am thinking about debt all the time...

[FoolFromAZ]

This may be a bit morbid, but I keep having the thought-- What if you get killed or disabled in a car accident tomorrow, and like it or not, your wife has to take over the bill paying? She is going to see those CC bills and she is going to be responsible for them. We do not inherit debt from out parents or siblings, but we are responsible for our spouse's debts. Would you want her last impression of you to be that you lied (by omission) to her and ran up debt for god-knows-what? I know you say it was for down payment on your house, but how would she know that if you are dead or unable to speak and tell her so?

Where do you recieve your bills? Even if your wife never pays them, certainly she must see the mail come in. You are not another having the bills sent to another address are you?

I'm guessing you've read the other recent thread here in which a poster speaks of finding out his wife had hidden debt from him. There might be something valuable for you in that thread.

Yes I completely agree with everyone that what I am doing is morally or ethically wrong. But as I did not use the money for any bad stuff, I am not really feeling as guilty as I would have felt if I had used that money for some bad stuff.

Regarding recieving bill, I have opted for paperless bill. I will get the softcopy of the bill on email every month. no paper mail to my address.

[disneysteve]

Yes I completely agree with everyone that what I am doing is morally or ethically wrong. But as I did not use the money for any bad stuff, I am not really feeling as guilty as I would have felt if I had used that money for some bad stuff.

We keep jumping on FoolFromAZ and saying he shouldn't be hiding stuff from his wife (with which I agree) but it isn't like the wife is totally innocent here. Wasn't she there when you bought the house and made the downpayment? Wasn't she there when you bought all the furniture and appliances? Didn't she ever ask or wonder where that $60,000 was coming from? She should have known that you guys didn't have that kind of money lying around so the fact that it was all borrowed money shouldn't be a big shock to her.

I still think you should tell her but I can't imagine why it would be an issue (except for the fact that you initially lied about it). She was there as the money was being spent and, I would presume, was involved in the decision to buy the house, furniture and appliances. If she chose not to involve herself in her own finances, that's her fault.

[Ima saver]

I don't have a perfect marriage, but I DO have a happy marriage. If there were any secrets at all about money in my marriage, it would not be a happy marriage to me. I think you should apologize and tell your wife about the debt.

[tripods68]

We keep jumping on FoolFromAZ and saying he shouldn't be hiding stuff from his wife (with which I agree) but it isn't like the wife is totally innocent here. Wasn't she there when you bought the house and made the downpayment? Wasn't she there when you bought all the furniture and appliances? Didn't she ever ask or wonder where that $60,000 was coming from? She should have known that you guys didn't have that kind of money lying around so the fact that it was all borrowed money shouldn't be a big shock to her.

I'm along the line in agreement here. Yes, the wife should have wondered where all these furnitures came from, who bought this stuff and where the money came from?. If the wife does not care about the cost of the furnitures then, maybe she might not even care about the debt. After all, you both are enjoying your sofa, furnitures, bedrooms and decor as such. So it may not even be a big deal to her. I would probably wine and dine her first, maybe take her dancing and some drinks. Then, you can let her know afterwards...."honey, by the way, you help me spend $12k of furnitures". But it's almost paid off so you won't have to worry about it.."Maybe she'll might be too drunk or perhaps wouldn't care at that moment. It works almost all time... cheers