money styles

[Agung]

We know that all people have different money styles (spender vs cheapskate) based upon beliefs and backgrounds. How to deal with those people which has different money styles with us?

[mrpaseo]

Just look them in their eye and shake your head in disgust.

Seriously, you need to figure out what your issue is with these peeps, if you feel you can help them, offer the help, if they shrug it off, they will learn eventually.

I tend to broadcast that I know a little something about finances and I allow others to come to me for help. I volenteer as a mentor at the local Financial Peace University course and I assist that way. You will find that some just want you to fix them so they can continue down the destructive path, to these people I tell them I can not help them and I focus on those that are willing to refocus their distructive habits.

Ray

[disneysteve]

I tend to broadcast that I know a little something about finances and I allow others to come to me for help.

I suppose I do the same. If somebody mentions that they are considering buying such-and-such or spending X amount for something, I may interject how they can get a better deal or why that isn't such a good idea. If they seem receptive to hearing more, I'll explain in more detail. If not, I leave it alone and let them dig themselves into a deeper hole. I have one coworker who is financially clueless and frequently does things that make no sense and just get her in trouble. Many times, I've made suggestions or advised her against certain things but she has ignored me (not rudely - we discuss it but she still does what she was planning). At least she knows that I'm interested and knowledgeable if she ever decides she'd like some advice.

I have another coworker who I think is doing okay but I know she has some debt - not sure how much though I learned the other day that she has one card with 15K on it. I discovered that because she came to me with a question about balance transfers. So she also knows that I know about financial stuff and that I'm willing to help if asked.

[waijai]

You really shouldn't project your own beliefs and views upon someone else, unless asked. You'll come off as trying to be high & mighty.

What context are you having difficulty in dealing with people with dissimilar financial beliefs?

[Broken Arrow]

It depends on the situation....

As a general rule of thumb, what other people do with their money is their own business. If they want to blow it all and put it on credit, it's not for me to judge or intervene.

However, I may feel differently if it was friends or family, if it actually has any direct or indirect impact on me, and/or if they feel the need to tell me why I should do what they do and it's wrong. Then I'll get involved.

When talking with spenders, it can be difficult because I think many spenders think that they've got a Pretty Good Handle on Things. Some even believe they're good savers... even if all they have is a checking account, and there's basically nothing in there. That last part perplexes me. Perhaps it's the same way why more people than not think they are pretty good drivers: Because it's something we handle day in and day out... and therefore, that must translate to being pretty good at it I guess.

I don't know. I deal mostly with guys in these situations, and I think that actually makes it even harder, because I think men tend to be more confrontational and defensive. Talking to my friend about saving was one of the hardest things I've had to do with him, because he flatly refused to accept that he has trouble with money. But I mean, he was living out of his car at one point (not by choice) and he was on the verge of getting evicted again from lack of funds.... I was concerned for him and merely suggested that he needed to save more to cover himself. And that set off one thing leading to another....

I do find that spenders like the idea of... spending. Sometimes, they want expensive things that they can't just impulsively buy. In which case, "saving" for large purchases is the obvious route to take. So they'll basically listen if you dangle that carrot. This includes investing or starting a business. The idea of making money seems very appealing, even if they are not considering the risk or amount of effort involved....

Still, if it can be helped, I prefer to just live my own life and let them worry about theirs.

[maat55]

I've found that trying to provide good financial advice to a spender/debt junkie is no easier than trying to provide the gospel to an athiest.

My oldest brother(57) has filed BK at least twice and has lived in debt his entire adult life. I recently sent him a long e-mail describing my not so good financial past and my abrupt change. I left in the e-mail an desciption of some things I would do in his position. I also left him an invitation to ask me for any advice he wished.(I did this as diplomatically as I possible could, so quit the chuckles. )

He owes me a few hundred dollars for his cost in our fathers probate. We recieve very small spotted checks from natural gas royalties that he wanted to repay me with over the next 100 years. I asked him to save the money and read a book I had on personal finance. I've since given him another book, but have not asked him his oppinion or if he has even read the books.

My other brother has always been financially stable and is debtfree, but is not an investor. His idea of retirement is living on SS with do debts. Another challenge for me. His last financial line to me was: make sure your saving some for me.

[buzz]

You really shouldn't project your own beliefs and views upon someone else, unless asked.

Oh, the irony.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

When I see them crashing and burning, like buying a house with a boyfriend instead of a spouse. Especially when they aren't getting married! I only interfered that one time.

Oh and when you are dating a married man, I told my friend to NOT move in with the guy who said he's going to "divorce" his wife but hasn't yet.

I guess that's interfering but honestly those are two extreme situations. Most of the time I just nod and say okay. People really don't like to hear the worse case scenario.

[cptacek]

I think when I give advice to my brothers and sisters, it comes across as "professor"ish instead of as me meddling. That is what one of them has said before, and I think they appreciate that. Instead of just talking about their choices and if those choices were right or wrong, I talk about more general philosophies and then draw parallels with their choices. This way I'm not attacking what they are doing, we are discussing different options of how they could do things, and hopefully they will take what we talked about to heart.